If the war you’re fighting demonizes an entire gender, then you’re fighting the wrong war.
Men and women are as equal as ever, yet the gender war is alive and well. It exists under the false premise that men and women should be fighting each other instead of fighting together.
Men and women thriving together is an integral part of life's beautiful design. Yet somewhere along the line, Mr. and Mrs. took a backseat to he said, she said. So why do we insist on doing the opposite of what we’re naturally inclined to do?
How Feminism Pits Men and Women against One Another
Feminism is a controversial subject. Some believe it’s run its course, while others believe it’s just getting started. Regardless of how you feel about the topic, it’s ingrained in our everyday life. I have previously written about my qualms with modern feminism, from the lies it tells young women to the wrench it puts in romance, marriage, and family. Feminism's most impactful contribution to the gender war was how it demonized men and masculinity.
“Feminism is not man-hating,” actress and activist Emma Watson declared at the 2014 HeForShe campaign. I have to partially agree, as, in my experience, most feminists whom I know don’t hate men, and most can at least point to one man in their life of whom they think fondly. However, this declaration can’t undo the damage that feminism has done to men.
Feminism convinced men and women that men are disposable.
Maybe feminists do love men, but they have a funny way of showing it. Feminism promotes pornography, sex work, and promiscuity, all of which have negative consequences on men and women. It invents derogatory terms like mansplaining, manspreading, and toxic masculinity, always aimed at men, never at women. Feminism convinced men to take voluntary setbacks to make space for women's progress. Feminism created a gynocentric world.
Worst of all, feminism convinced men and women that men are disposable. I can’t help but wonder what the impact of “the future is female” and “I don’t need a man” will be on boys and men for generations to come. Perhaps, various waves of feminism were necessary. But I think it’s fair to say that modern feminism has reached a tipping point; it’s doing more harm than good. It brewed a bitter resentment of men and fueled reactionary movements that only contributed to the gender war.
Incels, Pick Up Artists, and Men Going Their Own Way
Involuntary celibates (incels), Pick Up Artists (PUAs), and Men Going Their Way Own (MGTOW) are reactionary movements to the demonization of men. Incels, or involuntary celibates, are men who fail to get a romantic or sexual partner despite wanting one. These men are afraid of women, whether that be the fear of betrayal, rejection, or a false allegation. PUA’s embrace a sexual liberationist agenda similar to the feminists. They practice having as many sexual interactions with as many women as possible while simultaneously complaining about how all women are whores.
MGTOWs – as the name suggests – are men who have completely given up on women. They claim that women have no redeeming qualities. They believe they’re better off separating themselves from women entirely. (Although, bullying women online appears to remain fair game). Some are so invested in their anger towards women that they forget that redemption is universally available, even to women. Part of me has sympathy for these men, as they’re living proof of the irreversible damage of feminism.
These men choose to dispose of women, just like how the feminists choose to dispose of men.
These men choose to dispose of women, just like how the feminists choose to dispose of men. The MGTOWs really took “I don’t need a man” one step farther.
There’s no doubt that feminism is much more widespread than these movements. Fringe men's groups haven’t infiltrated our governments, institutions, and day-to-day social interactions in the same manner. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t also accountable for the demise of gender relations. And what happens if the pendulum swings, and suddenly, these movements control the battleground?
Despite what modern feminism might say, men can’t pull away. These fringe movements hurt women because women need men, particularly men who are loyal and courageous. To pull away, even if it’s in the name of a men’s movement, is to play right into the modern feminist agenda. Even though radical men’s and women’s movements approach gender issues from a radically different perspective, they produce the same result: a division between the sexes.
Why Demonizing an Entire Gender Is Wrong
Feminists believe they are the solution, as do MGTOWs. But these movements only promote hostility between men and women. I have sympathy for the men who are hurting, as I have sympathy for the women who are hurting. However, projecting wounds onto a group in its entirety is not the solution. It’s a mistake to believe that an entire gender with no exceptions is the cause of all your problems. Your problems wouldn’t go away if men disappeared or if women disappeared. It’s time to stop demonizing men and women. It’s time to end the war.
We’re Fighting the Wrong War
We’re fighting the wrong war. The enemy isn’t men or women but rather any force that tries to tear them apart. The real threat is the breakdown of the nuclear family, the increase in divorce, and the falling rates of marriage. It's the rise in fatherless homes and single motherhood. Our bitterness, distrust, and dissatisfaction towards the opposite sex are all a distraction. Without proper examination, many of us become unwitting participants in the gender war.
It’s a mistake to believe that an entire gender with no exceptions is the cause of all your problems.
Unity Is Our Strength
It’s time to shift the narrative. The only way to end these threats is the unity between men and women. You can be a willing participant in gender reconciliation. It’s up to us to reject movements that cause division between the sexes in favor of strengthening the family, and as a result, strengthening society.
I’ve witnessed an emergence of men who are stepping up to correct the damage done by radical gender movements. These men promote family values and choose to love women instead of demonizing them. I’ve seen an emergence of women choosing to restore their trust in men. They celebrate marriage and motherhood and choose to embody femininity without reservation and appreciate masculinity in men. For any feminist or MGTOW who might be lingering, doesn’t this sound like a better way?
It’s time we put down our swords and reject gender segregationist movements. If we’re fighting the wrong battle, then we’re only helping our enemy win the war. As times continue to get tough, we can remind ourselves of what matters the most: our beliefs, our families, and the love we have for each other. They’re worth fighting for.
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