You recently started seeing a new guy, and you’re definitely starting to fall for him. He’s cute, funny, kind, and affectionate. But after your last relationship ended on a pretty sour note, you’re still keeping some of your guard up. You’re doing your best to pay attention to red flags, to spot the warning signs, and to not ignore small annoyances that could point to deeper issues down the line. You don’t want a repeat of your last relationship.
Recently, you’ve started noticing people online talk about “high value” men – what seems to be the new way of talking about green flags in the world of dating. And with all this talk of whether or not a guy is high value, and seeing what you felt was a lack of high value guys in your past dating experience, you’ve begun to wonder if the guy you’ve been dating is high value or not. What does it even mean to be high value as a man? Does it just mean a guy who has movie star good looks? Or a guy who makes a certain amount of money every year? Nope.
Let’s clear something up before we jump in: Labeling someone as “high value” isn’t meant to imply that another person lacks any kind of value – every person has inherent value as a human being. What the term “high value” is getting at, however, is a man who has something to offer to his romantic partner, who brings something to the table, who has worked to cultivate valuable and desirable qualities that would make him a man worth partnering up with. A high value man is a man that a woman would feel incredibly lucky to be with.
So what exactly are the signs that a man is high value? What are the characteristics and traits a high value man will have? And how can you tell if your man is a high value man?
He Has a Life Purpose
He doesn’t question what he wants to do with his life for long. A high value man has a reason to get up in the morning, to work hard every single day, to invest his time and effort into something, because he has a purpose in life. He has a reason to be here. He’s found his passion and cares about doing it excellently rather than waiting around for someone to figure out his life for him or just skating by.
He’s Always Trying To Improve Himself
He isn’t one to rest on his laurels, no matter what he’s already achieved. To him, there’s always room for improvement. A high value man is constantly looking for ways to better himself, whether that means reading more in order to become wiser, working out regularly in order to gain strength, or learning how to control his temper in order to be a more loving partner. He doesn’t shrug and tell himself, “Yeah, that’s good enough.” He always asks himself, “What now? What else can I be doing?”
He Challenges You To Be a Better Woman
He doesn’t only look at himself and consider how he can be better – he looks at you, too. A high value man wants to be with a woman who’s committed, loving, generous, driven, gentle, and wise. He wants to be with a high value woman. And he’ll challenge whomever he’s with to grow alongside him rather than being the only one who’s chasing something better.
He’s Humble and Self-Aware
A high value man isn’t too proud to admit that he has faults. He’s able to perceive his shortcomings, doesn’t lie to himself or desire others to lie to him for the sake of his comfort, and is strong enough to take an honest look at himself in the mirror. He’s well-acquainted with his flaws and sees them as areas that are prime for growth rather than something he’ll never overcome.
While a high value man isn’t always perfect and certainly makes mistakes, he’s principled, virtuous, and noble nonetheless.
He Has Values He Doesn’t Compromise On
A high value man is, well, one that holds to his values. He lives by a certain set of standards. While a high value man isn’t always perfect and certainly makes mistakes, he’s principled, virtuous, and noble nonetheless. He desires to do the right thing. He cares deeply about his values and doesn’t compromise on what he believes to be good and true.
He Cares About His Physical Appearance
A high value man isn’t only concerned with his inward qualities. He takes pride in the way he presents himself outwardly and invests time, effort, and money into his physical appearance. He cares about being attractive to the woman he’s with. He takes care to dress nicely, smell good, work out, and eat well because he knows that a good first impression is everything.
He’s Emotionally Intelligent
A high value man is in tune with his own feelings. He searches his head and his heart to discover what’s going on in them and communicates his findings with his girlfriend. But his emotional intelligence doesn’t stop with him. He pays attention to his girlfriend’s tells: what overwhelms her, how to comfort her, and how to cheer her up. He works to intimately know her.
He’s a Man of His Word
He’s a man whose words you can trust to mean something. A high value man isn’t all talk and no action, or a man who makes you question what he really means. He’s one who follows through on what he says he’s going to do. A high value man is trustworthy, honest, competent, focused, and driven.
A high value man doesn’t want to have a string of meaningless relationships that end up going nowhere. That isn’t of any interest to him – he has different plans. Instead, he desires to find a woman to partner with, to build and share a life with, to commit to for the rest of his days. He wants to be someone’s husband.
He’s not all work and no play. A high value man sees the value in romance, excitement, passion, and adventure. No matter what his day-to-day looks like, he’s still fun. He woos and romances and enchants his woman rather than ignoring these needs and desires of hers and expecting her to be content without them.
He Values Your Opinion
He isn’t one to steamroll his girlfriend in order to get his way. A high value man doesn’t want to force his girlfriend to capitulate to his desires, but instead, deeply values her opinions, desires, and perspective – even if they differ from his. He isn’t offended or threatened by varying opinions.
He’s sure about who he is, what he wants, and what he needs to do in order to get what he wants.
A high value man is unapologetically confident, self-assured, and poised. He doesn’t look to others to give him confidence boosts. He’s sure about who he is, what he wants, and what he needs to do in order to get what he wants. He’s totally unshakable, possessing a levelheadedness that is undeniably attractive.
A high value man certainly isn’t immune to the stresses, disappointments, or challenges of life. He might struggle with depression or anxious thoughts from time to time, but he doesn’t stay there long. He doesn’t dwell on what’s gone wrong and wallow forever. He knows how to press on and pick himself up. He’s resilient, tough, and adaptable.
No problem is too big for him. When a high value man sees an issue, he doesn’t just sit around and hope something will magically change it. He begins to think through solutions and possibilities, coming up with a plan of action to solve the problem.
He Wants To Care for You
It doesn’t matter that you’re perfectly capable of caring for yourself – a high value man deeply desires to take care of the woman he’s with. He wants to make life easier and sweeter for her, and does everything in his power to make her feel looked after. He cherishes his girlfriend and doesn’t want her to forget it.
He’s a Natural Leader
A high value man is the person everyone looks to to guide them in times of crisis or uncertainty. He’s a natural leader, gifted at rallying people around a cause and inspiring them. You trust that he’ll always know what to do and come up with a plan.
He’s Responsible and Realistic
A high value man takes what he’s been entrusted with seriously. He doesn’t get caught up in unrealistic fantasies and shirk his responsibilities. He’s faithful and practical, and is the perfect mix of a dreamer and a realist.
What makes a man high value isn’t the number in his bank account or his over 6-foot height or his incredible facial symmetry. While none of those things hurt, what really makes him high value is his character – his commitment, his virtue, his attitude, and his confidence.
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