In a culture that values hooking up more than serious relationships, it can be difficult to find a guy who’s looking for a serious relationship and is worthy of one. It can be tough to separate the genuine guys from the ones just playing a game with you, so here are five guys you should avoid and let go of if you’re looking for a serious relationship.
I also want to make it clear that there’s no shame if you still have some of these guys lingering around or have one too many of them in your past. I’m guilty of having dated all five of these kinds of guys. The point is to learn and grow as we get older.
The Peter Pan
He often makes you feel like you’re on top of the world because he’s so fun and spontaneous, but you couldn’t get a commitment out of him if it would save his life. A guy with Peter Pan Syndrome refuses to grow up and often indulges in casual sex, drugs, and alcohol to feel something because he’s emotionally immature. You probably think you can change him (LOL), but you can’t. First rule of thumb: never date a guy with the intention of changing him. It’s best to spare yourself the heartache and avoid Peter Pan at all costs because he’s not husband material.
The One That Got Away
This one often hurts more than the others because he’s usually a pretty good guy (or he’s toxic and it’s hard for you to admit it to yourself – I’ve been in both scenarios). Whether it didn’t work in the past or it never blossomed into a serious relationship, there’s something about him that you just can’t shake. Is there a chance that you guys could work out in the future? Possibly. But there’s a 100% chance that it won’t work out now, which means letting him go is what’s best for you. It can be difficult, but you’re cheating yourself out of happiness if you don’t move on.
The Bad Boy
It’s easy to fall into the bad boy trap because (let’s be real) he’s really hot, but he’s not the man you should marry. Similar to Peter Pan, it’s easy to fall into the faulty thinking that you can change him, but that’s a terrible way to start a relationship. He’s terrible for you and often mistreats you, but you can’t get enough of him because he’s as sexy as he is mysterious and he’s the furthest thing from boring. Most of us go through a bad boy phase in our teens or early twenties, but it’s best to grow out of this habit if you want a healthy relationship. You deserve a good guy who’s worthy of you, and the bad boy is not it.
The Toxic Yet Hot Guy
Not to be too dramatic, but this guy can (and probably will) ruin your life, and you’ll let him because he has dreamy eyes and a smile that makes you weak in the knees. You’ll excuse his bad behavior by blaming yourself and others around you or ignore it because he’s as manipulative as he’s attractive. This phenomenon is known as the halo effect, which is when we subconsciously assume that someone is good just because they’re beautiful. Avoid this guy at all costs because if you do let him in, it can easily lead to an abusive relationship. Plus, when you do finally break up, it can take a while for you to heal and be ready for a healthy and committed relationship.
The Smooth Talker
This guy is the epitome of someone who can talk the talk but can’t walk the walk. He’s super charming and will tell you everything you want to hear, but he doesn’t really mean any of it. There’s a good chance he’s doing it to either string you along or get you to sleep with him. This guy can be hard to spot because he’s both charismatic and manipulative, but the best way to figure out if a guy is just a smooth talker is to realize that actions often speak louder than words. If his actions and his words match up, he’s a keeper. If he never backs anything he says with his actions, then it’s time to kick him to the curb.
Dating is hard, and finding a good guy to date is even harder. Fortunately, we can weed out guys who aren’t good for us by looking for red flags early on in relationships and even before we start the relationship.
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