The Shamelessly Shallow Guide On How To Be A Trophy Wife

All my life I wanted to be a trophy wife. From the ripe age of 13, I dreamt of being the hot, rich wife who rolled out of bed gracefully as the sun hit the edge of my sheets, waltzing into a private pilates class in a matching Lululemon set with an overpriced latte dripping condensation onto my classic Chanel flapover.