13 Ways To Identify A Beta Man

We talk a lot about the qualities and signs of an alpha male, but what are the characteristics of a beta male?

By Mia Gonzalez3 min read
Pexels/Mikhail Konetski

If you spend any amount of time on Twitter (or… X?), there’s a chance you’ll run into a tweet or two about something called alpha males – very commonly, one geared toward men, offering them steps on how to become a “real man” and not a dreaded “beta male.” 

The terms “alpha” and “beta” seem to have taken men’s spaces by storm over the last few years. An alpha is described as a man at the top of the food chain, the guy who’s unapologetically masculine, leads others effortlessly, is capable and driven, can get any girl he wants, and doesn’t care about a random person on the internet’s opinion.

On the flip side of that is the beta male, the man who’s described to be at the bottom of the food chain, who yearns for women’s attention but seldom receives it in a way that isn’t platonic, doesn’t have a lot of “get up and go,” and shies away from adversity.

While alpha male and beta male talk can perpetuate toxic behavior when taken to extremes (imagine a man attempting to act like a “alpha” by ignoring his wife’s desires and instead making every decision without her), there’s still some amount of truth to the descriptions of an alpha male and a beta male. There are men out there who seem to be natural leaders, and others who fall into passivity more often than not.

We’ve talked a lot about how to spot an alpha male before, but how can you tell if the guy you’re seeing is a beta male? Here are 13 signs that mean he’s a beta.

He Lacks Drive

The beta male might have quiet dreams to do something meaningful with his life, but he doesn’t have the drive to do anything about it. His desires, if he has any, aren’t backed up by actions. His ambitions remain far-off and unachieved because he struggles with laziness.

He Doesn’t Make Decisions

He’s incredibly passive, to the point where you’ll be the main decision-maker. You will choose everything from where you go out to eat to the direction your lives go in. Rather than taking some kind of initiative, he’ll always defer to you, assuring you that “whatever you want to do” is what he wants to do.

He Worships Women Unhealthily

Speaking plainly, the beta male is a simp. He desperately yearns for attention from women – specifically, romantic attention. He’ll do anything to get a woman to look twice, including showering her with compliments, bending over backward to impress her, and asking her out before he even really knows her.

But He Also Secretly Resents Women

Don’t get it twisted – the beta male doesn’t love women. He loves what a pretty woman’s attention would make him feel about himself. But because more women would rather go for the masculine alpha male, the beta male ends up secretly resenting women. 

He Won’t Fight for Anything

It’s not that the beta male doesn’t get upset about anything, but he’s unwilling to actually fight for anything important to him or for what’s right. Whether he lacks the backbone or the belief that he has it in him to win, he ends up getting walked all over or taken advantage of.

He Avoids Risks

While an alpha male isn’t afraid to take a risk (even if he fails the first time), a beta male is too paralyzed with fear to try anything new or different. Thinking outside the box is too uncomfortable for him. He’s totally risk-averse, but instead of this leading him to a better, more stable life, it only creates a smaller one.

He Doesn’t Strive for Excellence

The beta male doesn’t pay attention to excellence. To him, putting in a lot of effort at work or at the gym or into bettering himself is a waste of time. He stays comfortable and invests the bare minimum, putting in just enough effort into every area of his life. He coasts instead of ever rising.

He Blames Others for His Problems

Whenever the beta male begins to feel dissatisfied with his life, it becomes someone else’s fault. He keeps on blaming his parents or society or women, but doesn’t take the blame for the state of his own life. The beta male is only ever willing to look externally, not internally.

He Doesn’t Lead

While the alpha male is a natural leader and people gravitate toward him because he has a direction, the beta male is a follower. He doesn’t originate new ideas, rally a group together, or come up with plans. He waits for someone else to lead him.

He Doesn’t Intimidate Anyone

An intimidating man can either be terrifying or attractive, depending on how it’s being used. An alpha male uses his intimidation to protect, and we all secretly know he’d win in a fight. But no one looks at a beta male and thinks he’d win. He’s intimidating to no one, making any woman he’s with feel vulnerable.

He Cares Too Much About Other People’s Opinions

While it’s wise to take certain people’s opinions into account (like trusted friends, family, and a girlfriend/wife), for the most part, we shouldn’t immediately value a random person’s opinions. But because a beta male lacks confidence in who he is, he allows just about anyone’s opinion to seep into his psyche, valuing his mom’s and a random guy on Twitter’s opinion equally.

He’s Not Health Conscious

Not every man will have the same body type, but what alphas have in common is that they’ll invest in their physical health by working out regularly and eating well. But the beta male? He’s not physically fit or conscientious of what he’s putting in his body.

He Lacks Discipline

The beta male doesn’t just lack drive to do anything, he lacks the discipline required to get anything done. He doesn’t have a strong work ethic and hasn’t built the muscle of chipping away at a goal until he accomplishes it. He gets worn out by doing menial tasks or “adulting” and doesn’t push himself.

Closing Thoughts

There you have it. A beta male isn’t just a guy who’s easy-going or gentle or introverted. He’s a guy who lacks healthy masculinity, who doesn’t possess or cultivate the most noble qualities that a man can have. The beta male is more of a boy than a man.

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