6 Tips For Getting An Alpha Male’s Attention

You’ve had luck attracting every other kind of guy, but when it comes to getting an alpha male’s attention? You’re looking for a little more guidance – and we’re here to help.

By Mia Gonzalez3 min read
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Shutterstock/iona didishvili

When most women complain about not being able to find a guy, they don’t mean that they’re unable to attract any guy whatsoever. The reality is, it’s not all that difficult to find a guy who’d date you – all you’d have to do is sign up for any dating app, and begin swiping right without any discrimination at all. Give it about five minutes, and you’d find a guy willing to go out with you.

But that’s not really what women are talking about when they say they can’t get a guy’s attention. What they mean is, they haven’t been able to get an alpha male’s attention – the kind of guy that every man wants to be and every woman wants to be with, the kind of guy who’s driven, handsome, respectful, intelligent, assertive, and charming.

But the hard thing about alpha males? Well, similarly to women with healthy standards, they won’t date just anyone – and because he likely has more than a few women attempting to get his attention, this naturally makes it all the more challenging to get his.

So how can you get an alpha male’s attention?

Embrace Your Femininity

The one thing alpha males are most attracted to? Femininity. While you might assume that an alpha male – strong, independent, and motivated – would want a “boss babe” type that perfectly matches these qualities, he has more than enough masculinity all on his own.

The alpha guy isn’t looking for even more masculinity in his girlfriend. He’s looking for someone who can bring something unique to the relationship, something he himself can’t bring. So to really get the alpha male’s attention, trade in harshness for empathy, aggression for peacefulness, and bluntness for sensitivity. Learn how to healthily embrace your femininity.

Match His Inner Strength with Your Own Inner Strength

With that being said, an alpha male certainly isn’t looking for a woman he can rule over; he doesn’t want someone who’s insecure, powerless, or needy. Instead, he’s looking for a woman who has cultivated an inner strength that matches his own inner strength, and yet is unique from his. The alpha male will be attracted to strength, tenacity, drivenness, confidence, vitality, and capacity, qualities he himself possesses.

Be Self-Actualized

The alpha male attracts so many women, and is the object of envy for many men, because he’s self-actualized. He has a full life of his own – he has his own opinions, interests, thoughts, and values. And he’ll be attracted to a woman of which the same can be said.

This means you need to have your own hobbies, interests, opinions, and ideals. Create a full life for yourself, cultivate a rich community, work to hold intelligent opinions, and read more than the latest pop fiction favorite on BookTok. Have your own world that you can bring him into, new thoughts and ideas that you can introduce him to. Be a woman who values having her own identity as much as he does.

Show him that you see more than just his looks and confidence – you see him as a whole person.

Be a Woman Who Initiates

The alpha male is used to having others look to him; since he’s a natural leader, he’s normally the person others want to call the shots, and he’s probably only ever come across women who wait for him to initiate every conversation and date.

While he’ll still like to be the one to pursue you, you’ll stand out from the crowd by being a woman who takes it upon herself to initiate from time to time, as well – perhaps be the first one to show interest by approaching him for a conversation. Taking initiative in a small way will be a nice change of pace for him.

Take Care of Your Physical Appearance

We’d all be lying if we said that physical appearance has nothing at all to do with whether or not we find someone attractive. After all, physical appearance is the first thing we notice about someone – and it’s also our first tip as to whether or not we’re romantically interested in them. We can argue all day long that appearance shouldn’t matter, but we’d be arguing against biology.

The reality is, the way we physically present ourselves matters. If we’re dressed well, physically fit, and groomed well, we’re bound to make a better impression. So do your best to dress for your body type, exercise regularly, eat healthily, and tie it all together with a touch of makeup to highlight your natural beauty.

Treat Him Differently from How Others Treat Him

Any pretty girl will tell you that the attention she normally gets centers around her outward appearance – and the same goes for the alpha male, who’s showered with attention for his looks or his confidence. And yet, despite receiving his fair share of attention, he’s probably hardly ever treated like a human being. Instead, he’s probably often treated like a fixture by the women who show interest in him.

One way to instantly get his attention? Treat him differently. Show him that you see him as a whole person – one who has an inner world, who’s silly from time to time, and who can feel anxious sometimes. The alpha male has crafted an image for the rest of the world; try to show him that you can be the person he can safely be himself with.

Closing Thoughts

Attracting any guy isn’t the challenge. Attracting an alpha male, though? With all of the attention he already gets, it’s important to stand out from the crowd by being a woman who embraces her femininity, has her own hobbies and interests, and treats him differently than the rest of the world does.

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