What Is Feminine Energy And Why Is The Internet So Obsessed With It?

If you’ve spent any time on TikTok in the past year, you have most likely heard about Feminine Energy and its apparent ability to solve almost all of women’s problems.

By Johanna Duncan3 min read
Pexels/Leeloo Thefirst

Feminine Energy has been practiced by our grandmas and our grandmas’ grandmas, so why are we suddenly hearing about it now like it’s something new to be learned? 

I suspect that the rise in interest in Feminine Energy is a reaction to the current state of feminism. Feminism has encouraged women to be aggressive and to go for whatever and whoever they want. By almost any and all means, it has encouraged women to dwell in Masculine Energy (all humans have masculine and feminine energy within them) as a means to get ahead in the battle of the sexes, and while well meant, it has resulted in an imbalance that’s quite noticeable and has left women craving their own Feminine Energy. 

Feminine Energy is about being in a receiving mode instead of a providing mode.

Feminine Energy is a deeply rooted attitude. It’s hard to fake, it must simply be well practiced and developed until it becomes your default outlook in life. At its core, Feminine Energy is about being in a receiving mode instead of a providing mode (that is Masculine Energy). Being in such mode means that we care and love others, but we respect boundaries and don’t jump to fix other people’s problems, over-speak, over-commit, etc. Instead, we’re open to receiving love, and we reciprocate, we accept help graciously, and whether it’s in friendships, romance, or professional relationships, we’re able to make people feel cared for, respected, and appreciated while maintaining proper boundaries. 

How Exactly Do You Put Feminine Energy into Practice?

One of the best pieces of dating advice I ever received came from a guy friend who told me: “Don’t you forget that you are the flower, and the guys are the bees. They fly around and stay busy, while you bloom.” I think this concept applies to Masculine and Feminine Energies as well. But I want to emphasize that blooming is not a stagnant process. Yes, it is open and receptive, but it also involves nourishment, growth, and the resiliency to fight through difficult seasons. That is Feminine Energy. It’s that constant inner strength that moves you toward blooming, and includes four specific virtues: 

  1. Graciousness: Being assertive, not aggressive. Articulate your needs and wants in a way in which the other person can respond without it being a demand or a threat. This freedom is crucial for all good relationships. 

  2. Generosity: Be thankful for what you have, and don’t shy away from sharing it. Avoid having a scarcity mindset, and remember that the pie is always big enough to be shared. Keep reaching for more, without forgetting how grateful you are for the fact that you already have more than you need. 

  3. Charity: Think well of others and care for them. True service involves receiving as much as giving, so whether it’s setting the table for your family or volunteering at a soup kitchen, take in the joy of carrying out loving actions toward others.  

  4. Stewardship: We all run on limited resources, so be mindful of them. Whether it’s money, time, or even emotions, manage them wisely to avoid becoming frazzled or burned out. 

Women do it all these days, but if you don’t take care of your basic physical, emotional, and spiritual needs, suddenly you’re running on empty, and as a natural consequence, you will turn irritable and impatient. Neither of these things will help your blooming, and while the list of our accomplishments may be long, it can easily leave you feeling unfulfilled. 

I’m the first to admit that being busy and accomplishing things (even if random) gives me a sense of being in control and confirmation that I am on the right path. I would argue that many people are wired to feel that way, and the internet’s hustle culture and girl-boss tribe have fed into this, but while this definition of success and well-being has some validity, it is not the same as blooming. 

When our Feminine Energy is the driving force of our lives, the way we interact with the world is harmonious and peaceful because it balances out with the Masculine Energy of our counterparts. Instead of craving control over things outside us, our growth brings beauty wherever we are planted. This is no small contribution, as it sets the tone for everything to come. 

Closing Thoughts

Growing in the seven virtues (chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, kindness, patience, and humility) and doing activities that you enjoy like dancing, painting, and volunteering will help you automatically lean into your Feminine Energy.

We still want to be go-getters who achieve success in all its definitions, but we also want to be pursued, appreciated, and cherished. The means to the end matter, and by choosing to succeed by being assertive and gracious, not only do we accomplish things in a more harmonious way, but our own sense of fulfillment rises as we lean into our Feminine Energy. 

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