Quiz: Are You An Aspiring Trophy Wife, Trad Wife, Or Soccer Mom?

Soccer mom, trad wife, or trophy wife – either way, there’s no shame in your stereotypical wife game.

By Renée Walton3 min read

Got marriage on the brain? Chances are you’re wondering what married life will look like – where you’ll live, how many children you’ll have, what a typical day will consist of, and what type of wife you’ll be for your future husband. Answer these questions to see which stereotypical wife category you fall into. 

Surprise! You have an unexpected day off from work. Where can we find you?

  1. Home sweet home – having a slow morning, and then trying new recipes and deep cleaning those baseboards you’ve been meaning to get to.    

  2. All over town, finally catching up on all the errands you’ve been avoiding. Actually, with all that running around, it doesn’t really feel like a day off at all…

  3. You’re declaring it an impromptu day of pampering. A manicure, some shopping, a glass of wine at happy hour – nothing is off limits.  

What trends have you been into lately?

  1. Classic feminine styles are having a moment, and you’re all in. Bows, tights, pastels, and silk midi skirts are your current go-to looks. 

  2. Cropped puffer vests, platform Uggs, and bike shorts. And you never leave home without your Stanley

  3. Trends come and go. You stick to the silhouettes and color palettes you know make you look hot.  

During any given veg session, what would we find on your TV?

  1. Some wholesome entertainment: a cooking show, design show, or the comfort show that you’ve already watched five times from beginning to end. 

  2. Something exciting: the latest trending show that just hit Netflix or the football game with your guy. 

  3. Something with a little drama: Real Housewives, The Bachelor, or any other guilty pleasure reality show.  

It’s time to freshen up your luscious locks. What are your requirements for a new hairstyle?

  1. Something feminine, classic, and flowy – a style that highlights your best facial features and drives your man wild

  2. It needs to be low maintenance. You need a style that can be wash-and-go for busy mornings and sleek and put-together when you have a little more time. And it needs to be super easy to throw in a clip for those extra rushed days.   

  3. Looking polished and put-together is a must. You aren’t bothered by the extra time it takes you to get it looking just right every morning (in fact, you enjoy it), and you don’t mind regular salon visits to keep it looking on point. 

Are you a pet person? 

  1. Absolutely! Chickens, sheep, cows, cats, dogs – you want them all!

  2. You could see yourself with a low-maintenance pet. Maybe a goldendoodle or a cat. 

  3. Eh. You can take them or leave them. 

Your husband tells you he’s feeling under the weather. What’s your response? 

  1. Tell him to get to bed while you get to work on your home remedies: homemade bone broth, neti pots, all the tinctures, crushed garlic in his socks, gargling salt water – no protocol is too crunchy if it helps him get back on his feet as quickly as possible.  

  2. Stop at the pharmacy while you’re out for the day. Some Dayquill and plenty of water will have him good as new in no time. 

  3. He’ll be fine, it’s probably just a cold. Although, maybe he should sleep on the couch tonight so his germs don’t infiltrate your precious immune system…

What’s your go-to workout?

  1. You’re not into major sweat sessions but like to stay active. Consistent hot girl walks, regular yoga sessions, and occasional weight lifting keep you looking good and feeling your best. 

  2. You need excitement when it comes to workouts: a barre class, spinning, or a team sports league gets you up and moving. It has to be fun!

  3. Whatever your personal trainer tells you to do. Your goal is to keep everything high and tight. 

It’s girls’ night in. What’s your role?

  1. You’re the hostess with the mostest and don’t let your guests lift a finger. From drinks to ambiance, you’ve got it covered. 

  2. You’ll swing by the grocery store for a bottle of wine on your way over. It’s been a busy day. 

  3. Girls’ night in?! Let’s go out! 

Describe your ideal living situation: 

  1. A beautiful and charming old home on acreage where you can grow your own food and bask in a traditional way of life. 

  2. The suburbs – close enough to all the amenities I need but without the craziness of city life. 

  3. A bustling city with plenty of people. You want to see and be seen. 

Mostly 1s: You’re an Aspiring Trad Wife

Some say the trad wife movement is a LARP, but for you, it’s a way of life

You appreciate classic beauty and place great importance on traditional values. You know there’s strength in your femininity, but you’ve also learned to embrace your softness. People love your warm and welcoming demeanor, and you genuinely enjoy caring for the people around you. 

As an aspiring trad wife, there’s no doubt your future husband and children will be well cared for – regardless of whether you raise chickens or have a 100-year-old sourdough starter in your fridge.

Mostly 2s: You’re an Aspiring Soccer Mom

Time to throw your hair in a bun and fire up the minivan – you’re an aspiring soccer mom. 

People love to knock the soccer mom life, but you know that it’s anything but mundane. For you, a full calendar equals a full life. You’re always on the move from one appointment or social gathering to the next. Life is busy, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

As an aspiring soccer mom, you’ve always been the motherly one in your friend group, even without children of your own. You brighten everyone’s day with your optimism, and people know they can depend on you to be there in any crisis, big or small. 

Mostly 3s: You’re an Aspiring Trophy Wife

What, like it’s a bad thing? Ignore the haters and wear the trophy wife insults as a badge of honor. They’re probably just jealous of your luxurious lifestyle and perfect taste. 

As an aspiring trophy wife, you know that self-care is non-negotiable. In fact, it makes you a better person. You appreciate the finer things in life and always find a way to get what you want. Your husband will appreciate your attention to detail and how you always know how to pamper him. And let’s face it: He’ll love having a hot wife. 

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