Like many Millennial women, I grew up loving American Girl dolls. I love them so much that I never sold mine (I have six, four of the original six dolls) because I want to pass them down to my future daughter. To celebrate the re-release of the original six American Girl dolls, here’s what I think they would be like if they were Instagram influencers today.
Samantha Parkington (1904): Bachelor Contestant Turned Fashion Influencer/Mrs. Tyler Cameron
Samantha was a fan favorite on The Bachelor because she’s so stylish and sweet. Fans and Bachelor Peter Weber (I can just picture her on his season and he didn’t appreciate her for how awesome she was, like every woman on his season) couldn’t get over her tragic backstory of how her parents died in a boating accident when she was five. She was eliminated after hometown dates because Grandmary (yes, that’s what she calls her grandma) and Uncle Gard called out Peter’s BS, and everyone loved them for it. This inspired Grandmary to create her own Instagram, where she has over one million followers. After Samantha was eliminated, she got engaged to Tyler Cameron on Bachelor in Paradise because she deserves the best.
Samantha and Tyler moved to New York City, where Samantha became a fashion influencer. She works with some of the best brands in the fashion industry. Her Instagram is filled with pictures of her chic and classic outfits, gorgeous Upper East Side penthouse (which she inherited from her parents, duh), her summer house in the Hamptons (again, inherited from her parents, and Grandmary is there getting drunk with Bethenny Frankel on the weekends, and Uncle Gard and Tyler go golfing), and FabFitFun sponsored posts. She and Tyler got married in a fairytale ceremony last summer and are expecting a daughter this summer, and she already has a more glamorous wardrobe than you.
Kirsten Larson (1854): Farm Girl Influencer/Reality Star/Mrs. Jay Cutler
Have you ever wondered what would have happened if Kristen Cavallari didn’t divorce Jay Cutler and embraced life on the farm with him and her kids instead? That’s Kirsten’s entire Instagram, but you don’t have the urge to type an obnoxious Laguna Beach reference on all of her posts. Scratch that, Kirsten married Jay Cutler in 2014, and they live on a cute farm outside of Nashville with adorable kids. Kristin Cavallari stayed in California.
Kirsten and Jay have a reality show about their simple yet glamorous life on the farm. Their kids are adorable and bilingual because Kirsten wants them to embrace her Swedish heritage. She has yet to get over the fact that her family didn’t celebrate her ninth birthday because they were in the immigration process, so she goes out of her way to give her kids the best Insta-worthy birthday parties. Her Instagram is full of cute pictures of her looking flawless with her kids at her chicken coup, and she has her own line of cold brew that she drinks with oat milk. You either really love her or find her super annoying, but you’d trade lives with her for a day in a second.
Molly McIntire (1944): Dancer/Bravolebrity
After Molly got contacts and had a glow-up, she ventured outside her comfort zone of tap dancing and embraced different types of dancing. She moved to Los Angeles to become a professional dancer after college and applied to be a waitress at SUR in West Hollywood, which coincidentally landed her a spot on the cast of Vanderpump Rules. She claims that she had no idea that SUR was the center of a popular reality show, but nobody believes her. Though Molly has grown up into a kind and respectable young woman, she still likes to scheme. This plays out hilariously on VPR, where cast members and fans either love her or think she’s the most annoying person to ever live.
She went on Dancing with the Stars and won, and all of her VPR castmates were weirdly nice to her after America fell in love with her and she got more Instagram followers. Her Instagram is full of her glamorous LA life, and she got into posting dance tutorials during quarantine. This led her to create her own line of dance-inspired athleisure, but she still works at SUR because she’s humble like that.
Felicity Merriman (1774): Still a Horse Girl/Bella Hadid’s BFF
Everyone teased Felicity for being a tomboy and a horse girl while growing up, but the joke is on them because that led her to meet her BFF Bella Hadid. Despite being best friends with a literal supermodel, she remains humble and divides her time between hanging out with Bella at her ranch in Pennsylvania and spending time with her family in Virginia.
Her Instagram is filled with pictures of her riding her horses and advocating for animal rights. She’s very loyal to her family, often advocating for her followers to support small businesses like her father’s store. The other half of her Instagram is filled with the glamorous vacations and trips to LA she takes with Bella, but she always finds a way to rock her carefree Southern girl style wherever she goes. Since Felicity is a loyal friend, she hasn’t listened to The Weeknd after he and Bella broke up, and she boycotted his Super Bowl Halftime Show. She never posts any pictures with her boyfriend, but everyone is convinced that she’s dating a famous country singer, but can’t figure out who it is.
Addy Walker (1864): Political Activist/America’s Sweetheart
Addy is a law student and political activist. She’s no stranger to divisive times in America (she literally escaped slavery and grew up during the Civil War), and she tries to keep her activism as bipartisan as possible because she sees the best in people. Still scarred from when she and her mother and baby sister were separated from her father and brother, she’s a big advocate for families and plans to advocate for children of divorce.
Addy’s Instagram is filled with photos and videos of her advocating for children’s rights, as well as her day-to-day life in law school and hanging out with friends and family. She’s most famous for her weekly Instagram live sessions where she explains the political news of the week by comparing politicians to different cast members of the Real Housewives franchise (this is why politicians find Addy annoying, but regular people think she’s hilarious, which annoys politicians even more), while eating ice cream and drinking wine from the bottle. Her boyfriend is a lawyer and wants to run for office one day. They’re the ultimate Instagram power couple, and we all know that Addy would make a great first lady.
Josefina Montoya (1824): Yoga Influencer/Anti-MLM Commentator
Josefina grew her following on Instagram after becoming a top seller in a multi-level marketing company that sells essential oils but left when she realized that she was in a pyramid scheme and didn’t own her own business. She now owns her own business with her own line of all-natural essential oils (pyramid scheme free) and educates her followers on the dangers of MLM culture.
Her successful essential oils business helped her buy a ranch closer to her dad and sisters in New Mexico, where she opened up her own yoga studio. Her Instagram is all about her essential oil business, anti-MLM advocacy, yoga, and her life with her husband (who was her high school sweetheart) and their 4-year-old son. She teaches yoga classes and has incorporated goat yoga into her curriculum since overcoming her fear of goats. She’s vegan (but not annoying about it) and posts the most Instagrammable acai bowls and avocado toasts. Her most-liked photo is her son trying to do yoga with her and her husband, making them one of the cutest families on Instagram.
Many young women born in the ‘80s and ‘90s grew up on American Girl dolls, making the 35th version of the release of the original dolls an exciting event. It’s always fun to speculate about what our favorite dolls would be like if they were alive today, proving that American Girl dolls can be enjoyed for a lifetime.
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