OnlyFans Model Says She Feels "Dead Inside" And Doesn't Feel "Attraction To Men" Anymore

An OnlyFans model documenting her sex work journey on TikTok confesses she feels "a little bit dead inside" and no longer feels "attraction to men."

By Nicole Dominique3 min read

We need to talk about the honest OnlyFans models and pornstars revealing the dark side of the sex work industry. You can criticize them for their decision, but there's a high chance their candidness will keep other women from going down the same destructive path.

@kimchiprincesa on TikTok didn't glamorize sex work like the other "Striptokers" or OnlyFans models have. In a nearly 8-minute video, she details the emotional and mental effects of one year of sex work. She may be making a lot of money, but at what cost? @kimchiprincesa says she has a "really complicated relationship with her gig," and while she does appreciate certain aspects of it, "there really are so many downsides."

"I'm trying so hard not to get super upset while sharing this, but if I'm being honest, my mental health since I've started this has just slowly, like, been on such a decline." @kimchiprincesa reveals that this poor mental state began seven months ago, about six months into her sex work journey. She continues, "I started to get super burnt out," adding that it was fun in the beginning, but she started to feel "differently" about the "types of messages" she was receiving from her fans.

"There's no amount of money that you can give me right now to, like, make me feel like giving myself away in certain aspects, even if they're just a few photos or whatever online. It almost isn't worth it anymore," she later adds, "It's hard to describe this, because I realized that when I have spoken about OF, it's typically been in a light where it's like, you know, fun, it's art. You make money."

The influencer explains that the only benefit of OnlyFans is the monetary gain. "But if I'm being so honest, that really is like, the only upside to doing it. Just the ability to very quickly make extra cash." But, over the course of several months, the messages began getting to her, over time wearing her down. She talked about her supporters that she'd call when she's having a "hard day" and says they're "not people."

"[It] just makes it feel just so fake." The TikToker also warns people about joining the website. "Just know that if you are a person who's ever been interested in doing this, or if you [have] ever been curious about it, there really is just," she pauses to gather her thoughts and then confesses, "Like, I feel a little bit dead inside. I feel completely desensitized. And I don't know, not to sound funny, but I really don't feel any type of desire or attraction to men in general anymore." She attributes this to the men she's dated in the past and the guys she has come across in her line of work.

"You will never catch a man being more honest and authentic and more real [in the industry], and not necessarily in a good way. And the way that they present themselves to girls who do stuff that I do, I can't even imagine what it's actually like for real life," she says.

She feels that she has a level of protection since she's behind the screen, so she's never going to see these men in real life – but they've said some "disgusting" things. Whenever she gets curious and checks their profile, she finds that they usually have a "girlfriend" or "whole life" and "sometimes even, disgustingly enough, they have kids."

"Sometimes it makes me feel so conflicted with doing this, and a part of me just feels so prideful." @kimchiprincesa says she's now deep into this work and won't quit. "I just don't wanna quit. 'Cause I'm not a quitter. I always see things to the very end."

Ultimately, she supposes this is a "weird point" in her life and is incredibly overwhelmed. "Ultimately, the purpose of all this is, and it's really just to visually please a bunch of men, who, again, a lot of them are disgusting." She's also exploring other creative avenues that aren't "pleasing any men in any way, shape, or form."

"I don't know what I'm gonna do," she concludes. "If you made it this long, thanks for listening."

I hate what porn has done to society. It's harmed both men and women. Men can get dopamine hits and live in a fantasy world through their toxic parasocial relationships with OnlyFans models. Women, by joining the industry, perpetuate the damaging nature of sex work and later end up regretting it.

All I can say is, I'm grateful for the women who speak up about their experiences with sex work. Being this honest isn't fun – just look at the reactions most adult film stars get when they open up about their relationship issues or the damaging effects of porn. These things need to be discussed for young women to recognize that this sexual revolution isn't "empowering." In fact, it's doing the opposite – it's taking their power away by reducing them to a prop and a sex object. At the same time, men become slaves to their desires, as women profit from their loneliness and insecurities. So, even though models continue to glamorize sex work on TikTok, the reality is that no one truly wins in this situation.

Evie deserves to be heard. Support our cause and help women reclaim their femininity by subscribing today.