It’s pretty obvious that women who are single and dating want to find a man to connect with romantically and even marry, but lately, more and more women are failing to achieve their relationship goals. Shifting to a more feminine mindset can help us feel less anxious about looking for love (and in general).
Femininity isn’t something that we “possess” or “achieve,” it’s something we feel. So how do we feel more feminine? By creating the space in our lives and in our hearts to feel that way. As it so happens, doing so also helps us create room for the right men to enter.
Here are five tips to create more space and to feel more feminine:
1. Cycle Syncing
Cycle syncing is about linking your lifestyle to your fertility cycle in most aspects: diet, exercise, work productivity, and relationships. It helps you balance your mood and become more aware of the influence your hormonal activity has on the quality of your life.
Functional nutritionist and hormonal health specialist Alisa Vitti wrote In the Flo, a book that teaches you the many ways in which our 28-day cycle makes us different from men. “The flow” is a metaphor for your period, but it’s also a metaphor for a state of mind: When you’re feeling your best, you’re in the flow of life. Female cervical health – and, well, the cervix itself – is obviously something men are directly concerned with, sexually, and it’s an endless mystery to them. Knowing as much as possible about your own female body will give you an attractive air of je-ne-sais-quoi and the ability to make better decisions, resulting in more confidence.
2. Make Time To Rest and To Have Fun Daily
First, make your bedroom as restful as possible. Pamper yourself in bed, especially, with beautiful sheets, as many pillows as you want, and the coziest blankets in the world. There are good instructions online to help you make your bedroom as quiet, serene, and beautiful as you like, day by day. Also, make sure that you unplug and turn off your technological devices entirely before sleeping.
Pamper yourself with beautiful sheets, pillows, and the coziest blankets in the world.
A woman's bedroom is also mysterious to men, a space they want to access for romantic purposes. In a way, your bedroom should be romantic and enchanting, but it’s also entirely your own. Make it as girly, as secluded, and as exclusive as you want.
For fun, choose a hobby and schedule time for it in your calendar. A hobby is typically an activity you do on your own, keeping track of your progress based on your previous efforts. Women, in particular, can benefit from receiving instruction in classes, like watercolor painting or yoga. Relying on others for guidance helps the female body create healthy amounts of estrogen naturally, and estrogen is the “feel-good” hormone for us.
3. Schedule Time Spent on Dating Apps in Advance
To begin with, turn off notifications from your dating apps. Rather than mindlessly scrolling, schedule 10 minutes per day three times per week to maintain your profile, keep up to date with messages, send “likes,” etc. Choose two days per week for actual dating. Schedule an additional 30 minutes per week for taking the time to book these dates. This way, you'll be spending just one hour per week on the apps or arranging to get together.
Being constantly available to respond to men online can make you feel stressed out and powerless.
Literally filling in the space on your calendar with the names of interested men can get you to visualize the idea of having healthy boundaries, especially where your space and time are concerned. Being constantly available to respond to men online can make you feel stressed out and powerless in the long run because you shouldn’t be “on call” when you’re trying to have fun. It may seem like you’re managing a lot at first by structuring your week, but you’ll feel more relaxed when things are well-organized.
4. Prayer and Meditation Create Space in Your Heart and Mind
Simply asking God to take control of the outcome of your love life will help you release the excess mental energy you may be using trying to figure things out. For example, Catholics have a beautiful prayer to St. Anne that asks her intercession for help finding a spouse. It lasts nine days, and it’s said to work miracles. The Serenity Prayer is also good to pray and meditate upon.
If you’re an atheist, you can meditate or do breathing exercises for mental clarity each day, with the set intention of finding love. When you bring more focus to your inner life you become more resourceful. You won’t need as much attention from other people to be fulfilled, and you’ll become more relaxed around them. People will appreciate being in your peaceful presence.
5. Shift Your Language
Instead of saying “I’m looking for...”, you can use “I want...” It’s a subtle shift that turns your perspective inward toward your own feelings of desire. Make a list of what you want in your dating and love relationships and edit your profile to include at least one “I want” statement. For example, “I want to be married to a loving man someday,” or even something more dreamy, like “I want to walk into the sunset with a mountain of a man.”
Stop explaining yourself and let your stated desires resonate.
You can practice expressing your desires more regularly in other areas of your life too. It’s important to stop explaining yourself and to let your stated desires resonate, especially when dating. Men like to solve practical problems, and once they know what you want you can trust them to figure out how to provide it for you.
Becoming more feminine means feeling more feminine. The more feminine we feel, the more obvious it will be when we encounter men who are threatened by our ability to express ourselves clearly. We’ll discern in favor of reasonable men with healthy attitudes and lifestyles, instead of men who are chronically stressed out and/or hoping that a relationship will fix something broken inside them. By following these five tips you’ll get to know yourself, so that when a man says he wants to “get to know you better,” you can show him who you really are, inside and out.
Love Evie? Let us know what you love and what else you want to see from us in the official Evie reader survey.