Fashion Etiquette From NYFW: 5 Rules Every Woman Should Know In 2025
I spend much of my days thinking, writing, and sharing about etiquette—sometimes over a formal dinner table, sometimes in a boardroom, and often in the little ordinary moments of daily life. This September, though, I found myself at New York Fashion Week for the very first time, where etiquette and fashion meet in their most dazzling forms.
Fashion Week is one of those rare times when truly everyone is thinking about what they’re wearing. But deciding what to wear isn’t as simple as following a standard “cocktail” or “black tie” dress code. Sequins appear before noon. A tailored blazer is thrown over silk pajamas. The sidewalks feel like a stage where creativity has no ceiling. And as I took it all in, I kept thinking about the fashion rules I grew up hearing—the whispered reminders from mothers, grandmothers, and etiquette books alike.
So let’s talk about those “old” (and possibly timeless) rules: where they came from, and whether they still deserve a place in our closets today.
1. No White After Labor Day
This tradition wasn’t only about the change of season; it was about privilege. Wearing white after Labor Day once signaled that you could afford a separate summer wardrobe and that your lifestyle didn’t involve manual labor, which made it nearly impossible to keep white clothes clean. Today, though, “winter white” is considered chic, not gauche. At Fashion Week, I saw ivory knits, snowy tailoring, and white suede boots styled for fall, and they looked modern and luxurious. The verdict: white is now seasonless and not an elitist flex.
2. Don’t Mix Metals
For decades, you chose one: gold or silver. Mixing was considered careless. Today, intentional mixing is the very definition of polish: layered necklaces in multiple tones, bracelets stacked without apology, handbags with hardware that doesn’t match your jewelry. Designers and street stylers alike leaned into contrast this season. The modern approach: mix away, as long as it looks intentional.
3. Fabrics Must Match the Season
Velvet was strictly for winter. Linen belonged to summer. Silk meant evening. This is an admittedly trickier rule to master, but when it works, it really works. At NYFW, I saw tweed styled with sheer lace, satin worn to brunch, and velvet paired with denim. And off the runway, suede showed up not just as jackets or boots but in full two-piece sets. Fabric etiquette today is less about prohibition and more about practicality and creativity.
4. Save the Diamonds for After Dark
Emily Post would have said pearls by day, diamonds by candlelight. Today, diamonds sparkle with denim, and sequins show up at brunch. I spotted glittering jewelry at 11 a.m. shows and shimmery dresses styled with sneakers. Still, there’s a timeless elegance in letting jewelry match the moment—sparkle feels more special when it isn’t constant.
5. No Sunglasses Indoors (or After Dark)
This rule wasn’t about fashion but about connection. Eyes reveal warmth and respect, and covering them can read as aloof, overly casual, or suspicious. At Fashion Week, sunglasses indoors were part of the performance, especially with oversized frames making appearances at daytime shows. In most settings, though, slipping them off remains the more gracious move unless you have a medical need to keep them on.
Do the Old Rules Still Matter?
Each one of these rules was (mostly!) beautifully broken at NYFW, and often in ways that looked inspired. Tory Burch showed a turquoise trench over brown trousers—a color combination once considered unthinkable. Pinstripes shed their boardroom seriousness and were reworked into edgy, surprising silhouettes. Even plaid went bold in neon brights, proving that tradition doesn’t have to mean traditional.
Which proves that fashion etiquette isn’t about rigidity; it’s about awareness. When you understand the spirit behind a rule, you can decide when to honor it and when to let it bend.
The New Fashion Etiquette
So where does that leave us? If the old rules aren’t absolute, what takes their place? Fashion Week reminded me that modern etiquette has less to do with “don’ts” and more to do with guiding principles:
Respect the dress code. When one exists, it’s not about limiting you—it’s about honoring the occasion and the host. Showing up in denim to a black-tie gala isn’t edgy; it’s inconsiderate. But within the parameters, there’s room for creativity.
Wear the clothes. Don’t let the clothes wear you. A look should never overwhelm the person inside it. At Khaite, a cropped khaki jacket and rigid denim skirt proved that simplicity, worn with confidence, can be as powerful as the flashiest gown.
Don’t follow trends blindly. Red bottoms (not the shoes—actual red pants and skirts) were everywhere this season, commanding attention. They’re striking, but only if they feel like you. Good etiquette means knowing yourself as much as knowing the room.
Context matters. A sheer lace layer peeking out from under a dress may feel playful at Fashion Week but might confuse at a work conference. What’s joyful in New York might feel overdone at a country wedding. Great style accounts for setting as much as silhouette.
Elegance is timeless. Every so-called “rule” has an exception, but thoughtfulness, confidence, and respect for others never go out of fashion.
In the end, fashion etiquette is less about memorizing dos and don’ts and more about cultivating awareness. Every rule you’ve ever heard can be broken with flair, but the people who carry themselves with confidence, kindness, and grace will always be in style.
If you have a question for a future Ask Alison segment, kindly email info@elevateetiquette.com.
Alison M. Cheperdak, J.D., is the founder of Elevate Etiquette, a consultancy where she teaches modern manners in a gracious and grounded way. She is the author of a forthcoming book, “Was It Something I Said? Everyday Etiquette to Avoid Awkward Moments in Relationships, Work, and Life.”