Why Dressing Beautifully Matters

Let’s start with the obvious question: What’s the point? You are the point. You are worth the effort and the care. It’s not about fashion or trends, but about the fact that putting effort into the way you dress tells everyone around you and your own subconscious that you care about yourself. Even if the outfit is simple and even if you’re the kind to never wear makeup, making the effort to present yourself beautifully will always be in your favor. We’ve all heard that looks don’t matter and that there are many things more important than what we wear or how we fix our hair. This is only partially true. Our dignity, worth, and value as humans are not attached to our looks, so in that sense, we can agree that looks do not matter. But this reality does not negate the preponderance of evidence that proves our appearance can impact the way we are perceived by others and even the way we perceive ourselves . I’ll be honest and talk about myself for a second. I am not a morning person, and my morning routine is timed to under 10 minutes. If I were ever to be crowned a princess, I would be the princess of morning simplicity and efficiency. And yet, even I care to leave home in the mornings looking beautiful. I work exclusively with women so I certainly don’t do it in order to catch a man’s eye, but because this is a small way for me to acknowledge to myself my own beauty. Once we’re in the habit of making sure we look and feel our best every morning, our attitude toward our day and ourselves changes. The Way We Dress Can Influence Behavior I grew up in a culture in which sweatpants were certainly not welcomed unless you were actually working out or sick. I can video call my mom somewhat relaxed, but if I show up at my grandma’s house without at least a little bit of makeup and my hair in a presentable way, I’ll be asked what’s wrong. I kid you not. My grandma assumes I got fired or I’m going through a breakup just based on how much care or lack of care I put into my appearance. Maybe your grandma is not as strict as mine, but there is certainly a generational difference. Our grandmas were taught to dress for the movie theaters, for restaurants, for church, and even for when their husbands came home. And there’s data backing up the importance of dressing for your spouse. During the early ‘80s, there was a study aimed at finding out the quality and longevity of relationships between couples who cohabitate vs. couples who marry . This study listed different qualities among the two kinds of couples, and surprisingly to some, the study showed that women who dressed well were less likely to divorce. Our grandmas in their A-line dresses, even when paired with an apron, were certainly on to something. Again, their cultural wisdom is backed up by our contemporary authority – data. Perhaps the women who care about dressing beautifully also subconsciously care more about beauty in their marriage. Personally, I would argue that women who care about dressing well, not for vanity but out of self-care and self-respect, are confident women and confidence is key for good relationships of all kinds, even professional ones. It happens everyday. The way you present yourself affects how you are perceived by your spouse, your coworkers, your children, your friends, and every stranger on the street. Acknowledging that the way we dress often determines how we are treated is sometimes a difficult idea, but if you’ve never drawn an opinion about someone based on the way they dress, then you can go ahead and throw the first stone. Nonetheless, this also means that we do have control over the way we are perceived by others and it’s not so difficult to control our own narrative. Instead of being upset about being judged based on your looks, make sure you’re presenting yourself as you truly would like to be perceived. My mom used to work in the airline industry, so she always required us to dress well while traveling. Imagine my shock when I later realized it’s pretty common to travel in sweatpants (no hate, I do it too now) or even in whatever you’ve worn the night before. My mom’s argument was that airlines always overbook their flights but rarely sell out first class. So it’s common for them to move passengers to first class in order to make room for the oversold seats. How do they do this? They pick someone who looks like they bought first class and move them up. It’s never happened to me, but my mom can claim more first class champagne drinks than what I’ve had on land. Whether you get moved to first class or not, the point is that dressing well can get you moved up and it may be in an unexpected way. Creating this habit will certainly open more doors than close them. Enclothed Cognition Researchers at the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University refer to our brain’s ability to perform according to what we are wearing as “enclothed cognition ,” which they describe as “the systematic influence that clothes have on the wearer’s psychological processes.” How we behave, our mood, and our self-perception are all affected by how we dress. Growing up, I was always in uniform – a school uniform, a cheerleading uniform, a rhythmic gymnastic uniform. Sunday was the only day I got to choose what to wear. I was told by my teachers and coaches alike that my uniform had to be worn well as it represented the school, teams, and sports I was part of. I was under some pressure to wear the uniforms well, and I risked getting in trouble for not doing so. Once, I almost got in trouble for having chipped red nails in high school when the school policy was nude tones or nothing. I almost got in trouble when my white knee-high cheerleading socks weren’t as white as they should’ve been. And for rhythmic gymnastics, my all black ensemble was mandatory (allegedly, black helps keep muscles warm and prevents injuries), as well as a certain kind of underwear that allowed for extra mobility without the need of readjusting mid-routine. These rules seemed overwhelming and pointless at times, but I had an easy time following them once I understood they were meant to communicate qualities that represented the school and sports I was representing through those uniforms. Now that the uniforms have been left behind, I’ve come to realize that how I dress doesn’t represent something else anymore – it represents me . The rules that once dictated what I would wear have been exchanged for rules I’ve made for myself. I shouldn’t call them rules anymore – they are my own beauty standards. My own desire to smell good and look neat, even if I’m just running errands in jeans and a t-shirt. The years of uniforms also taught me the value of mindfulness in my dressing and how in many ways what I put on allows me to do what I want and need to do at my best. In this MIT study , participants were given a white coat. Some were told it was a lab coat or doctor’s coat, while the other group was told it was a painter's coat. The results showed that those who believed they were dressed as doctors outperformed those who thought they were wearing a painter’s coat, due to an increased sense of attention. Suddenly, a white coat and what the person understood by such a coat affected their ability to perform particular tasks. Just like my childhood uniforms, recognizing certain qualities in what we wear affects our own psychology deeply. This raises the questions: What is your lab coat? What is your uniform? What would make you feel beautiful, capable, and confident on a regular day? Think of it another way: You are more likely to feel depressed while wearing baggy, dark clothes than a well-fitting dress. If we know for sure that what you wear has such a clear impact on how we feel and how we perform, why not do it at its best? Why not aim for something beautiful and uplifting? We will be getting dressed every morning anyway, so we might as well do it intentionally aiming to bring out the best in ourselves. It’s a sign of care and respect for ourselves and for those around us. In The Princess Diaries , the makeover was an essential part of Mia’s story . The plot often reminds us that Mia as a person did not change. But with Paolo and her grandmother’s help, Mia started dressing beautifully. Why? Because the way she dresses impacts her becoming the person she is meant to be – a princess. Her grandmother never aimed to change her ; she aimed to introduce beauty into her wardrobe and mannerisms. Let’s not forget that Mia used to be shy and awkward, and when beauty was introduced, she suddenly gained an unprecedented (for her) confidence that allowed her to face greater challenges. It also gave her a voice, and people were listening. I had my own Mia moment a few years ago when I was preparing myself for a tough meeting with my boss. I was very nervous as this was going to be my first time asking for a raise. The day before, I called my dad for advice, and I clearly remember, at the end of the conversation, he said, “You should go buy yourself a dress for the occasion.” The dress was not an actual requirement for this meeting. What my dad was implying is that my disposition, confidence, and overall attitude mattered in this meeting, and a new dress would certainly give me a boost in that area. Closing Thoughts While there are a lot of outward benefits to dressing beautifully, the inward benefits are the most meaningful. What a beautiful outfit can do for your mental health, self-esteem, and overall confidence is alone worth the effort. Let’s bring beauty back to the world – for the sake of our mental health, the sake of those around us, and the sake of beauty itself. For beauty is valuable in itself, and if something is to be beautiful, let that something be you.