Swiping through TikTok, you come across a young woman, dolled up in the kitchen wearing a puff-sleeve prairie dress cinched in by a pink apron. Her long, loose, ombre blonde curls fall delicately down her décolletage. Her kitchen is so immaculate, it almost looks sterile. You follow through to her full profile, intrigued by this picturesque life where Gwen the Milkmaid “urban homesteads” but dreams of a farm with cows where she can home birth children and frolic in her garden barefoot.
Turns out, she’s quite willing to share her past as “a pro-abortion, anti-marriage, lesbian ‘feminist’,” but while she asserts that she’s changed over the last 10 years, this milkmaid may not have realized that the internet isn’t so forgiving – the internet keeps its receipts. Gwen the Milkmaid recently became one of several “trad” influencers who got exposed for having a polar opposite online persona: GwenGwiz, the OnlyFans “model” who also had an ASMR YouTube channel that featured sexual content.
Whether genuine OnlyFans models or just party girls who used to flaunt their glamorous lifestyles on social media, there’s a puzzling trend of conservative influencers with promiscuous pasts. In the case of Gwen the Milkmaid, she conveys to her audience that she is reformed and has moved away from her past, but critics online claim she’s still not as “trad” as she may want people to think.
This begs the question: Is it possible to have a real redemption arc away from promiscuity and toward a more wholesome lifestyle? I talked to Ada Lluch and Morgan Ariel, two former party girls turned conservative influencers who escaped their wild pasts and believe that many more women can follow in their footsteps.
The Party Lifestyle Will Catch Up with You
Ariel became involved in festival culture after she found success selling LED flower crown accessories at shows and concerts. She recalled feeling like she was making a positive impact at the time with her business, but because everyone else around her was partying, she was inclined to party too. Ariel took drugs, developed a drinking problem, and in her own words, she “dressed like a jezebel.”
Lluch lived every wanderlust-driven girl’s dream after her part-time modeling gigs led her to leave medical school in Barcelona and move to Ibiza. She was invited to yachts and other elite parties, but while deeply ingrained in Ibiza’s Insta-worthy festivities, she started to feel empty. Lluch wasn’t a heavy drinker and she didn’t partake in drugs, so she could view the reality of this lifestyle through a more sober lens.
“I finally had the life I always dreamt of, and truth be told, I never felt emptier than those months,” Lluch recalled. “I saw women selling themselves to live a life that wasn’t real, I saw the depravity of drugs, the sexualization of women’s bodies, and the mundanity of this world. I’m sure that God put me in that place to wake up finally.”
A self-described “purpose-driven person,” Ariel recounted a similar awakening at a late night rave: “All of a sudden God illuminated my eyes to the sin and filth of where I was and what was taking place around me. He spoke to me clear as day and said, ‘I told you you don’t belong here. Get out now.’ I was so scared I left and never went back.”
“I got scared to end up like the rest, to be caught in this trap and never be able to escape it because it’s addicting,” Lluch told me. “Initially, it was fun, but I ended up depressed, with an emptiness that is difficult to explain. I remember returning from one trip and wishing the plane crashed before landing; it’s ironic because I had everything I thought I wanted.”
Similar to Ariel’s case, Lluch then left the party girl lifestyle behind and reconnected with her faith. She questioned what she wanted in life, asked herself what her inner-child was missing, and in her experience, the answer to those questions was to embrace more traditional values.
Lluch reprioritized time with her family, stating that she won back their respect while losing many of her friends who once admired her. She rekindled her relationship with her ex-boyfriend in Rome, whom she later married. Lluch also said that luxury to her now looks like a stable life to come home to daily, having a harmonious relationship with her family, and talking to God every night.
“I have been set free from the chains of my past, the bondage of alcohol, and needing to be places I’m not called to be in,” Ariel began, pointing out how many individuals in the Bible also went through radical transformations but were scrutinized and criticized as not being genuine. “There will always be haters. That just means you’re winning in life and doing something worth somebody else hating on you for.”
Once You’ve Been Publicly Sexualized, Can You Ever Go Back?
Platforms like OnlyFans or IsMyGirl have risen in popularity at the same time that Instagram or TikTok have blurred the lines between those notoriously lewd, platforms and social media. Young women proudly display sunkissed skin on luxury yachts paid for by Dan Bilzerian types in the Mediterranean, and scantily-clad “rave kittens” document yet another sensory-overload Kygo set. Promiscuity in the general public’s gaze is now an easy thing to envy – and emulate.
Public sexualization, whether online or within real-life party scenes, has replaced more historic roles of purity or just outright pragmatism. Earlier this summer, OnlyFans CEO Ami Gan announced that the platform now has over 3 million “content creators.”
In Lluch’s opinion, as a woman who was encouraged to join the platform in the past, OnlyFans was created to degrade women and its customers. “OnlyFans, transgenderism, porn, hook-up culture, wild parties, drugs, and fluid genders all have the same purpose, to thoroughly mix up the foundation of our society,” she said. “They don’t want you to be able to tell men from women, and they don’t want women to tell right from wrong because when you have solid gender roles, you have a reliable, stable society.”
Ariel felt similarly, explaining her feelings that modern women are being sold a lie when they’re encouraged to sleep around, use their bodies to obtain favors or for financial gain, and then are told that these behaviors won’t psychologically affect them.
“I think the hypersexualization of women is destroying Western culture and contributing to the demise of the family unit, which is needed for our society to flourish,” she said. “Not only do they degrade themselves, but with each partner a woman has, she becomes more desensitized to sex when it’s intended to be special and shared within marriage.”
Indeed, a recent survey of 500 OnlyFans adult content creators revealed that their promiscuous side jobs have made it difficult for them to maintain relationships. 47% of respondents said dating is more challenging, 42% said they experienced a breakup after telling their partner about their OnlyFans account, and 46% said that their role as an OnlyFans creator had prevented them from maintaining healthy relationships.
To make matters worse, most creators on OnlyFans will find that their racy side-gig isn’t as lucrative as viral videos make it seem. While some may be making a shocking $350,000 a month, many OnlyFans creators get caught up in pay pyramid schemes, and most would probably make more money working at a fast food joint than by selling photos of themselves online.
Some OnlyFans creators assert the platform has only been beneficial to them. Lesbian duo Kayley Winterson and Emily Rose previously worked as emergency medical technicians for the U.K.’s National Health Service (NHS) making $13.80 per hour and said that their long work days and “traumatic experiences” caused their mental health to decline. Now making more money than they did in frontline health care, Winterson and Rose told the New York Post that their “mental health is 100 times better.”
Psychologists have countered these sorts of anecdotes by pointing out that sex work can lead to worsened mental health complications due to dehumanization and harassment from customers, internalization of stigma, feelings of loneliness, and the pressure to put out more risqué content. Even leading adult film stars Riley Reid and Lana Rhodes have been candid about how sex work has, in some ways, negatively impacted their lives.
“I’m so glad that I could see that before I became utterly sucked into this lifestyle and I ruined my life forever,” said Lluch. “I could have done OnlyFans and made tons of money, but why should I sell my soul? It’s not worth it.”
Twitter user @bornagainsteph quickly rose to popularity online after sharing her own transformation story. "I was in the top 1% of OnlyFans. Before that, I was top in sales in the car biz. My revolved around money, vanity, materialism, & sin. I was a narcissist, a liar, stuck up, promiscuous & into drugs. What's your before & after? Jesus saves!" she tweeted in October 2022.
Several months later, she also revealed that she was making $15,000 a month on OnlyFans. She was "worshipping money" and "drowning in sin," and she even "became suicidal." She felt like her life was over, but that's when she "cried out to God" and was set free by Jesus. Just days after that, she shared a before-and-after photo of herself in which she blurred out part of her body from a picture that was posted to OnlyFans, followed by a picture of herself today. It was meant to remind people that anyone can be saved no matter what their depth of promiscuity may be in the past. But many were quick to point out that posting a sensual photo of herself (which has since been deleted) was unnecessary to prove her point.
"God bless you sister and I say this with love, but I’m not sure the old picture from only fans is really needed to get this point across," @kelsicali responded to her. "The words alone do it justice. The photo may be blurred but is still seductive."
Meanwhile, others had harsher words for her redemption arc, referring to it as a play in a playbook rather than a genuine turnaround. "This will probably become a dating strategy amongst some OF girls," @AJA_Cortes tweeted as a response. "They realize they scarlet lettered themselves out of the relationship marketplace. The Born Again route gives them appeal with simpy Christian men who want to play White Knight and be the girls savior. There will be many such cases." Thousands of people liked his tweet and commented in agreement. Some even went so far as to say that women like Steph are addicted to attention, regardless of what narrative arc they use to achieve it.
Steph continues to tell her story, though, and insists that being saved by God not only allowed her to get rid of her OnlyFans career, but also helped her find a loving boyfriend who she plans to marry.
"This is the first man in my life who has been with me and hasn’t touched me, never makes sexual comments to me, never tried to make any move on me, and has not even kissed me. He wants to honor and obey God. He loves Jesus and he wants to save our first kiss for our wedding day," she tweeted on June 10. She says they are in love, he respects her, and she is looking forward to being a wife.
We Shouldn’t Be Quick To Deal Definitive Judgment Before Considering Forgiveness
Where do we draw the line? As women looking to inspire other women to live more truth-based, fulfilling, and happy lifestyles and leave behind destructive behaviors that mainstream narratives claim are acts of radical self-love or sexually empowering, we can’t engage in all-or-nothing purity tests.
If we don’t like it when “cancel culture” progressives are quick to excommunicate people from their side of the aisle based on past behavior, we shouldn’t let ourselves become similarly aggressive ideologues. Not all of us can have the most squeaky-clean reputations, so we’re doing ourselves a disservice by isolating “converts.”
“One of the most beautiful things about the human race is evolution,” said Lluch. “Of course, I am not the same person I was six months ago, one year ago, three years ago, and five years ago. We go through different experiences that shape us into a new version of ourselves, and it’s a beautiful thing.”
It’s fascinating to watch when “trad” influencers online appear to put down other women for their lack of purity. Such is the case with those like Gwen the Milkmaid. Many of her TikTok videos look more like a caricature of the “trad” life – a concept I’ve explored before known as the “trad LARPer” – and beg the questions: Was she just jumping onto a fresh trend, trying on new personalities, and shamelessly trying to profit from their “redemption”? I’ve heard of virtue signaling, but perhaps the concept we’re really dealing with here is “virtue grifting.”
The virtue grift doesn’t just apply to farmhouse “tradfluencers,” however. Other women who burst onto the conservative social media scene like Shannen Michaela, who went viral for her anti-Big Pharma, anti-Big Tech, and anti-feminist takes, are allegedly ex-OnlyFans content creators.
To this day, Michaela’s videos still exude softcore pornography where she showcases herself stretching in positions that expose her pubic regions, is often wearing tight, tiny clothing (or little to none at all), and sometimes posting videos crawling like an animal or running like a cavewoman. Is it a plot to pull in a profit from some man’s strange fetish?
Isn’t it antithetical to commodify conservative, “traditional” values for financial gain? There is a lot less fame and fortune to be made off pop anti-feminism because the audience isn’t other women – it’s men.
We should all be more discerning of who is or is not genuine in these values-based subcultures. That said, there needs to be a place in our hearts for those who have truly emerged on the other side of their redemption arc.
None of Us Are Completely Innocent, So Let’s Stop Pretending Otherwise
Face it, very few trad-adjacent women are actually homesteading, and many are likely refugees from their own feminist phases in adolescence and into their young adult years. I, for one, was a classic example of “Democrat by default” before I could research the side I had been taught to hate. After deep introspection, I developed political and ideological leanings that look very different from my teenage agenda. Even Evie editor Gina Florio came from a similar background but became disillusioned with the lies she sold.
“Understand that the journey is worth it. It may get lonely and scary, and I’m pretty sure you will have an emotional hangover from your past life, but if you rely on God, it will be easier than you think,” Lluch said. “Are you pleased with this lifestyle? Are you respecting yourself? Are people crossing your self-boundaries too often? Do you even have self-boundaries? Are you proud of your work? What legacy would you leave if you died right now? Reflect on the answers.”
Following her own transformation, Ariel shared with me that the response overall has been great, but that she has faced a lot of scrutiny from “red pill men” who troll her because of her current work for the Freedom Movement, as well as for being a Christian clothing brand owner and a Turning Point USA representative.
“It doesn’t matter what you’ve done, where you’ve been, or who hates you for it,” Ariel said, stating that many women can easily get misled by counterfeit opportunities for happiness. “To the women using their bodies for a quick check – your beauty will fade, then what will you do? Don’t let the devil sell you a lie. The end of the road leads to death. Run toward your destiny and never look back.”
Lluch also shared messages of hope for women looking to go through their own redemption arc, sharing her belief that nothing quite compares to the peace you win when you don’t have anything to be embarrassed by.
“I am not trying to be a conservative influencer,” Lluch told me, but noted that her direct messages are open on social media for any girls who need support overcoming their own empty lifestyles. “I started my Twitter account seven months ago, but even before, I wouldn’t have considered myself an influencer. I was just a regular girl, and I’m still just an ordinary girl but with different values.”
By being honest with yourself about your past, you can make serious strides to becoming a more fulfilled person. But true fulfillment doesn’t come from wearing a costume – if you want to walk the walk, you’re going to have to do a lot more than just talk the talk and be drawn in by performative digital identities.
The societal overcorrection for women to go from OnlyFans-style content creators to conservative tradfluencers does come off as cringe when there’s no authenticity behind the public persona. However, if a woman really has changed and isn’t grifting, then there should be grace afforded to her. They say imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, after all. Perhaps our movement would gain more “converts” if we all practiced a bit more compassion instead of immediately assuming the worst, gatekeeping, and then ruling out those new believers with an iron fist.
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