Can We Stop Acting Like Dumbing Yourself Down Is Cute?

If you follow the Barstool Sports Instagram account, you’ve likely seen clips from the Mean Girl podcast, hosted by Alex Bennet and Jordyn Woodruff. The tagline for their show is “your besties in your ear.” Although I’m not an avid listener of the show, I’ve listened to a few episodes and enjoy them for the most part. They’re often funny and light-hearted, but many of their Instagram clips have gone viral, generating a lot of criticism. On March 20, the Barstool Sports Instagram account posted a podcast clip where Alex and Jordyn say they don’t wash their hands after going to the bathroom. Alex elaborates that she “doesn’t trust anyone who washes their hands” because it “doesn’t do anything” and that back when outhouses were around that “they didn’t wash their hands and had less diseases.” Another clip went viral of the girls debating the existence of dinosaurs , with Alex referring to them as “methodical creatures.” Many viewers believe she meant to say “mythological,” but it’s not a good look. After the clips went viral, fellow Barstool creator Kelly Keegs posted a blog and video of how the Mean Girl brand makes women look dumb. Her main point was that she knows both Alex and Jordyn are intelligent and that they were purposefully acting this way to get more views. Kelly argued that the views of the Mean Girl videos were mostly hate views and that they dragged down the women as a whole who work at Barstool. While many thought that Kelly’s takes were mean-spirited, she made a good point about how women who play dumb get plenty of attention online. While I’m sure that Alex and Jordyn are intelligent in real life, it’s clear that both of them have capitalized off the “bimbo” and “dumb blonde” stereotypes. The “Dumb Blonde” Stereotype Can Be a Trauma Response We’re all aware of the “dumb blonde” and “bimbo” stereotypes. They’re mostly associated with women who like to embrace their femininity, which is wrong on so many levels. Though we love to see women embrace their femininity and shut down the stereotype (Elle Woods from Legally Blonde being the perfect example), some of the most famous women to embody this stereotype did it as a trauma response. One of the most famous examples of this response is Marilyn Monroe. When she was typecast as a “dumb blonde,” she made that character a persona, when in reality, she was incredibly intelligent. Michelle Vogel, historian and author, speaks of Monroe’s intelligence in her book, Marilyn Monroe: Her Films, Her Life . She says, “She had a drive to better herself by reading books on psychology, philosophy, poetry, art, drama, you name it. She studied at the prestigious Actors Studio in New York, with Lee Strasberg, because she had the desire to be a drama student, even after she was already a famous Hollywood actress. She was a trailblazer, and in many ways, a feminist before the term was really known or understood.” So why did Marilyn feel the need to put on this dumb blonde persona? Many think it was a trauma response to the abuse she experienced. If you act dumber than you are, people will underestimate you, which protects you and gives you an advantage over them. Paris Hilton did the same thing. In her new memoir, Paris: The Memoir , she wrote, "I'm not a dumb blonde. I was just very good at pretending to be one. A lot of what I did with this character was just a trauma response to all the abuse that I went through as a teenager. When I was coming out of Provo, I definitely modeled my character on Marilyn Monroe." Paris is referring to the sexual abuse she experienced at Provo Canyon School as a teenager. Over the past few years, she has campaigned to shut down schools for “troubled teens” that are infamous for abuse. It’s strangely fitting that she styled her persona after Marilyn, who also experienced abuse as a child and teenager . In reality, many would argue that Paris is actually very bright. Alexandra Dean, director of Paris’ 2020 documentary, This Is Paris , who also directed Bombshell: The Hedy Lamarr Story, told Page Six , “Paris is extremely intelligent and chronically underestimated. Her mind can be quicksilver, that’s part of why she architected the concept of insta-fame. Hedy changed the world and Paris did too. Both of them were women with affectations and shields that blinds us to their intelligence.” Paris’ intelligence can be seen in her successful career. She runs multiple businesses, and her net worth is estimated to be around $14.2 billion. Even though she’s an heiress, it takes an extremely savvy person to maintain her inheritance and have that high of net worth. Why Else Do Women Feel the Need To Dumb Themselves Down? Let’s be honest, many of us are guilty of dumbing ourselves down, myself included. It’s not something I’m proud of, but I know several other women who have also felt the need to play dumb on a first date or at work. So why do we do this? The answer is surprisingly simple: We think it’s what men want. Sheena Sharma of Elite Daily writes, “Every woman has portrayed a ‘dumber’ version of herself, whether it be an isolated incident of the past or a habitual occurrence. And we often do it without even realizing it. Diluting the water, we suppose, makes it easier to swallow. Murky water is rough, complicated, and not worth swimming through. We pretend to know less than we do. We twirl our hair and raise our voices an octave. We think behaving this way is embracing man's idea of femininity, when really, maybe we’re embracing our insecurities, fears, or vulnerability. But our questionably misinformed perceptions of what men want may not really be what men want at all.” A man worth having doesn’t want a dumb woman. In fact, most men are attracted to smart women. Any guy who is husband material will value your opinion and your intelligence. If you feel the need to dumb yourself down on a first date or at any time in a relationship, that’s likely a major red flag. Either your idea of femininity or of what men want needs to be reevaluated, or it’s a sign this guy isn’t interested in you as a whole person. If the man you're with is constantly talking over you or makes it clear that he is not interested in hearing your opinion during discussions, that's your sign to run as fast as you can in the opposite direction. At best, he’s not interested in a serious relationship, and at worst, he wants someone he can manipulate or control. Intelligence is both masculine and feminine, and it’s time we start celebrating it. You Can Be Intelligent and Feminine at the Same Time Remember the scene in Legally Blonde where retail workers assumed Elle Woods was dumb and tried to trick her into buying an old dress at full price? Elle saw right through them because she knew the fashion industry like the back of her hand, disproving the judgment the workers initially made about her. She spent the rest of the movie proving people wrong about her intelligence by getting into Harvard Law School, earning a prestigious internship, winning a difficult case, and eventually graduating at the top of her class, and we love to see it. Legally Blonde may be 22 years old, but it’s the perfect example of how a woman can be feminine and intelligent. It’s one of the many reasons why the movie has stood the test of time. Instead of dumbing ourselves down, why not embrace our inner Elle Woods and recognize that intelligence and femininity go together like peanut butter and jelly? Closing Thoughts Many of us are guilty of either playing dumb or feeling like we should. We often do this because we subconsciously think that intelligence and femininity don’t go together, but it’s possible to be both at the same time. Love Evie? Sign up for our newsletter and get curated content weekly!