9 Feminine Qualities Men Love, According To The Men Themselves

There are so many reasons to embrace your natural femininity, not the least of which is because the man in your life probably appreciates it too.

By Gwen Farrell5 min read
Pexels/Wesley Davi

Imagine how our inner monologues, our relationships, and even our outlook on life would change if we learned to not only be more appreciative of our innate femininity, but embraced it wholeheartedly. Leaning into a natural order brings balance and peace, and our stress over how we look and what other people think of us might transform with the sense that as women, we can do things that no one else can.

As ridiculous as it sounds, stating that men and women aren’t the same (which is a good thing) is more controversial than ever. Every once in a while, it’s good to be reminded of what our feminine nature brings to the table and how that energy impacts those around us.

We asked the men around us – not just husbands but brothers, friends, and dads too – about the feminine qualities they most love and appreciate. These nine feminine qualities were the most mentioned and the most popular.

1. Kindness

You know how some women judge a guy by how he treats the waitstaff or baristas? That kind of observation goes both ways, as a matter of fact. “If she’s rude to people or doesn’t have basic kindness, that’s a no from me,” says one man. 

Kindness isn’t just a solid quality to both possess and admire. It makes you more attractive, according to one study, and more than that, it’s something we should always be striving for. Everyone has bad days and bad moods, but those moods affect everyone around you. A man might not remember the shoes you wore on a first date or what you said, but he’ll always remember how you made him feel.

2. Playfulness

“I don’t think I could ever be with a woman who takes herself too seriously,” explains one single man. While this doesn’t always mean that she’s a snob or lacks a sense of humor, playfulness is an underrated quality and always appreciated. 

Every rom-com we watched growing up taught us that men don’t appreciate goofiness or silliness, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. Men like a woman who will engage with their jokes, rather than blow them off, or who will banter with them back and forth for the fun of it. A woman who likes to have fun and wants others around her to have fun too can’t help but laugh, smile, crack jokes, and contribute positivity. Her energy is light and happy, and she makes others feel better just by being around her.

3. Needing Him

There’s a huge distinction to be made between wanting a man and needing him. In many ways, needing the man in your life and being able to express that is a choice. You may not need your man to replace a lightbulb or change a tire, but asking him to help you anyway is an instant ego boost for him – in the best way, of course. 

Many women today assume that because they’re educated, independent, and make a certain income, any man would be lucky to have them. That may be true – but then, what will he bring to the table? No man, especially an industrious, hard-working, masculine man, wants to feel like a fixture or a guy who’s just there to hold your purse in the background. Needing him by your side, depending on him, relying on him for his opinion and input is a trait that men genuinely appreciate, and what’s more, it seems like it's becoming increasingly harder to find.

4. Attention To Detail

If men are the big picture thinkers, women are more tuned in to the details, and like any complementary relationship, these qualities work extremely well together.

For many of us, attention to detail is an instinct like any other, and women who are moms or homemakers know especially that without this quality, the daily workings of their family and home just wouldn’t function. Planning play dates, grocery shopping within a budget, and making competing schedules work are all seemingly simple tasks that can be pretty complicated, and women are especially gifted at tackling those. 

This quality also makes an impression on others. “I really like when a woman has attention to detail,” says one guy. “It shows how much she cares.” To you, it might not seem like a big deal that you remembered your boyfriend’s grandmother’s name, or what exactly he specializes in at his job, but trust us. He’s noticed, and he likes it!

5. Receptive Energy

Leading and following, giving and receiving – all of these compatible qualities are those which men and women can naturally fall into together. Receptive energy, which might look like listening, receiving, or in any other way accepting what your man gives you, might be a prehistoric concept, but it’s underrated today.

Women often incorrectly assume that men want the most independent version of themselves. But no man, and no woman for that matter, is an island, and receiving what your husband has to give you – whether it’s love, attention, sex, or criticism – encourages both of you to be your most instinctually true selves with each other. 

One man stressed the importance of this quality, which he found in his own wife: “She really listens to what I have to say, and comes to me for advice and help. She knows she’s not alone in any problem she has, and all of that is about opening up to me.”

6. Girliness

Wearing your favorite sundress or putting a bow in your hair might not be your go-to move to get noticed by the men around you, but it could be. Nothing makes a man feel more masculine than a woman who exudes femininity, and if there’s one lesson to take away here, it’s that men love being encouraged to be themselves. We do that effortlessly by expressing our femininity in our speech, the way we dress, and how we look. And while those things might be surface-level and appearance-oriented, that’s how we appeal to men.

Men love first with their eyes and then with their hearts, and wanting to look attractive for him as well as yourself is paying him a meaningful compliment. Somehow, this concept is now sexist and backwards, but if women stopped caring about what men thought of them, the growth of human civilization would grind to a halt.

7. Courage

We might view courage and strength as solely masculine traits, but they’re more innately feminine than we might think. With the proper motivation, a woman will do whatever it takes to preserve what she truly values. You see this with women who lift cars off their children, or who rush into danger without giving it a second thought, or who carry their baby to term even if it has a terminal diagnosis. All of that takes a kind of courage most of us don’t even think about.

It takes courage to preserve our home, to protect our family and raise up our children in an age of influential interests competing against ours. “Feminine courage tends to be a lot bolder than male courage,” one man explains. “Something about feminine courage has a much stronger sense of propriety and preserving norms than male courage, and I admire that.”

8. Sexiness

A woman who’s truly confident and secure in herself will naturally exude a sensuality that those around her can’t help but be attracted to. A woman who prefers delayed gratification and the slow burn of building attraction rather than instant fulfillment is effortlessly more appealing to a man than one who easily gives into conquest. “It isn’t about giving in, or spending the night together,” explains one friend. “It’s about the possibility of what could be.”

Any woman can build this in her repertoire by viewing seduction as a skill that can be learned, and by cultivating an air of mystery around her persona with how she walks, talks, dresses, etc. Who is she? What does she offer? Every man wants to know, but only one will be lucky enough to find out.

9. The “Maternal Trifecta”

Being motherly and nurturing isn’t about embodying just one quality, but a group of qualities, or what my husband calls “the maternal trifecta.” The maternal trifecta consists of gentleness, compassion, and sensitivity, all of which make a woman attuned to addressing the needs and problems of not only her children, but her husband, her friends, and loved ones.

It’s supposedly offensive nowadays to suggest that women are more naturally nurturing than men. It has even been claimed that “maternal instinct” is a myth that men created – but unfortunately, you can’t fake or fabricate a biological inclination. What’s more, having maternal qualities is a good thing. Gentleness is needed when our children are disobedient, or when our friend is in pain. Compassion is vital when it comes to understanding those we may disagree with. Sensitivity is necessary when parenting our toddlers or approaching a delicate disagreement with our spouse. All of these together help us to be not just wonderful, capable mothers, but well-rounded women.

Closing Thoughts

It’s interesting that all of the female qualities most loved and appreciated by men are things that come relatively easily or naturally to us – yet men wouldn’t be able to say the same thing. 

It’s not impossible for a man to be nurturing or for a woman to be strong. But we are all at our best when we encourage each other to be what we are, and when we let men be men and encourage women to be women. Our innate feminine energy encourages men to be themselves, and if there’s one thing that’s attractive to both sexes, it’s finding the person who lets you be the best possible version of yourself.

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