​​The Difference Between Feminine Strength And Masculine Strength

Rejecting biological differences between men and women is the popular cultural attitude du jour, but it doesn’t make them any less existent or impactful. We often willfully misunderstand the two. But just because the two are different doesn't indicate that one is superior to the other.

By Gwen Farrell4 min read
Pexels/Nataliia Holovchuk

One cannot exist without the other, and that’s the beautiful thing about the interdependency of both the masculine and the feminine. They rely on one another to thrive, and ideally, they act in compatibility with each other.

We tend to throw these words around casually, labeling this and that as masculine or feminine. But the two transcend our cursory understanding of them, especially in the way they interact with each other. Masculine and feminine energies exist within all of us, though we often fail to notice how they manifest or how we can utilize them to our ability. Here are the differences between the two strengths.

He’s Logical, She’s Intuitive

Ask a man to “go with his gut,” and he might not know where to begin. Men oftentimes need context to make decisions, whereas a woman has an instinctive feeling about the direction that needs to be taken.

Many couples experience this complementary relationship when they have their first child. For a woman, it’s a no-brainer. She knows at any given time exactly what her child needs, whether it’s nourishment, playtime, or sleep. But ask the dad the same question, and he might feel at a loss. He needs directions for his brain to form the pathway of decision-making, and his child’s mother provides him with that direction with her intuition. A mother hears her child crying in the night and knows right away that the baby needs to eat. The father hears the same crying and might go through all the motions – diaper changing, cuddling, rocking – before eventually getting to the actual demand.

He Needs Respect, She Needs Trust

Whether you’ve been dating for a few weeks or married for a few decades, a man and a woman in any relationship consistently seek the same things from each other. The breakdown of so many relationships oftentimes happens when either individual or both of them isn’t getting what he or she needs to feel loved, cherished, and cared for.

Men value respect and deference. Modern single women scoff at it now, but this is why men love to be asked about their opinion or knowledge on a certain topic (even if we’re already an expert on it). They need respect from their mate to feel like they’re truly valued in the relationship, which is why contempt usually precedes the breakdown of a marriage.

On the other hand, a woman needs trust to cultivate a relationship with her man. We like to know their backstories, their life histories, their traumas or hardships. We feel valued when they confide in us and only us, which is why potential infidelity – either on the man’s end or our end – is such a betrayal of trust. We might also feel this betrayal if our man confides in another person, especially another woman, or if he insists on having female friends. We’re rightfully concerned that the trust between us could be given to someone else.

He Gives, She Receives

This aspect of the male-female dynamic is as fundamental as biology. Women receive the necessary elements of procreation from men, and develop and deliver human life into the world. Where traditional gender roles are present, the man provides and his mate receives his provision to turn that contribution into something meaningful, like an efficient household and a warm and comforting place for him to come home to. 

This complementary partnership is so offensive to us now, even though it dates back to the dawn of civilization and a hunter-gatherer relationship, for myriad reasons. We look at women homemakers now and assume for some misguided reason that they don’t want to be there, or that they’re subjugated or oppressed in some way. But having looked at the past 60 years and what the ravages of modern feminism have given us, this alliance grounded in the home and in the family is becoming far more preferable to many.

He Controls, She Creates

Women are often criticized (by men or even by ourselves) for not being rational, but that doesn’t automatically indicate that we’re irrational. Men by necessity have to approach all aspects of life – whether it’s their careers, finances, families, etc. – from a logical standpoint. As they’re primed to be providers, it’s of little benefit to them to have a more emotional outlook on things. They need certainties and facts to thrive.

Women get to be more naturally imaginative and creative, and we should love that for ourselves! We’re not bound by certain constraints, but we do have our own respective responsibilities. As an example, say that you and your husband have a certain room in your house that needs a makeover. While your husband might handle the finances, tallying necessary items according to your budget, making the purchases, and keeping all the receipts, you get to choose the paint scheme, the decor, the furniture, and the layout. In the end, something beautiful is created as a result of the joining of these two forces.

He’s Direct, She’s Passive

Evolutionary biologists have discovered that stereotypes usually hold true when it comes to conflict and how that challenge is approached by the two genders. Men are aggressive and direct, but they also tend to resolve any conflict in consideration of needing future allies – what’s known as the “male warrior hypothesis.” The male go-to tactic may be to broach the conflict directly, and then resolve it, making peace with each other. But women don’t tend to reconcile or resolve their conflict the way that men do, unsurprisingly. This may point to the evolutionary instinct to hold onto their mates and protect their own, but in general, men approach things directly, and women circumvent or avoid the issue for their own protection or self-interest.

He Looks for Solutions, She Looks for Understanding

Have you ever had a disagreement with a friend and just wanted to vent? Every couple has probably experienced this. Your man approaches the drama from a problem-solving mindset because that’s what men do. In their minds, finding a solution will make the situation better, or will even make the problem go away.

But for women, it’s not that simple. We don’t want to hear that we should stand up to this person or apologize to them. We want our man to commiserate with us, and offer up a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. For women, this response from your boyfriend or husband can make you feel like you’re not being heard. In reality, he’s just doing what he knows how to do and what he thinks will benefit the situation from a big-picture perspective, not what will make you feel better about it.

He’s Tough, She’s Vulnerable

We tend to associate masculinity with hardness or strength, and for good reason. We can’t be vulnerable or emotional with a partner who’s equally vulnerable or emotional. What a mess that would be! If women are awash in a sea of emotions, feelings, and hormones (again, there’s nothing wrong with this), we need a steady point to focus on to avoid seasickness, like a lighthouse in the distance. A man, stalwart, reliable, and constant, provides that safe haven for us. Likewise, a man who wants to be tough might not find a compatible mate in someone who’s equally hardened. He needs someone soft, tender, sensitive, and soothing to enable him and encourage him to be himself.

He Conquers, She Nourishes

You might feel out of place in the boardroom, and that’s okay – your man might look at making a weekly meal plan and be completely thrown. Men, naturally, like a challenge and, by extension, conquering something, whether it’s climbing the career ladder or locking down a woman. It satisfies their urge to dominate and lead, and taps into their inherent “hunter” instincts through the process.

Women in contrast feel a natural urge to care for something, whether it’s children, friends, pets, or plants. They desire to nourish, and their instincts are to nurture something. The male instinct is no less important, significant, or necessary than the female – it’s just different, and ideally, interrelated. Absent fatherhood and absent motherhood have significant effects on children, as many of us know firsthand. Kids need authoritarian fathers or father figures, but for their well-being, they also need nurturing mothers.

He’s a Rock, She’s the River

The embodiment of masculine strength could be seen as a rock. It’s steady, constant, unmoving, and unchangeable, with the exception of how it ages with time. It’s consistent and unvarying, but the water that flows over it or alongside it (the feminine strength) is effortless, easy, natural, and smooth. Both exist and act according to their natural instincts and their design. Both are strong in their own way, but the two work in tandem with one another, and one can’t exist without the other.

Closing Thoughts

The largest and most misguided mistake both genders have made in the last few decades is asserting that one is worse than the other. We see this with both self-avowed feminists and with residents of the manosphere, and both are harmful to the embodiment of masculine and feminine strength. 

What is divinely created and exercised from within can’t be harmful, no matter how much we decry it or fight against it. These strengths lie within each of us, but they’re also dependent on us and how much we desire to embrace or refuse them.

Support our cause and help women reclaim their femininity by subscribing today.