Relationships

8 Ways A Guy Shows His Personality Through His Humor

Fyodor Dostoevsky once said, “One can know a man from his laugh.”

By Anna Hugoboom5 min read
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A top feature of a man’s attraction is often his sense of humor, and most guys put a lot of weight on being funny. There’s a reason why most comedians are men, and why the class clown is usually a boy. Psychologists indicate that men are objectively funnier than women (sorry feminists, it's true) because it signals intelligence and attracts mates. Research shows that women care about intelligence roughly twice as much as men. 

Even though most of us feel a sense of confidence and affirmation when someone laughs at our quips, guys know women especially like a funny guy. In turn, men want someone who will appreciate and laugh at their jokes (this actually makes you more attractive to him, too). This complementary exchange is just one example of how man and woman were created differently in order to balance the other.

hes a really funny guy

Using Humor Well

How he relates his humor, though, says a lot about how a guy communicates and what his personality traits might tend toward. Knowing a guy’s sense of humor is important for women so they can tell if they’re attracted to that part of his personality or if it would annoy them in the long run, because attraction is largely psychological for women. Some women crack up at a slapstick sense of humor, while other women crave sarcastic banter. 

But women also want men who employ their humor with sensitivity to their setting and audience. For example, some guys constantly make sexual innuendos or can’t stop with the sarcastic (and often condescending) flirting and think that suffices as “funny.” Or some will just make self-centered jokes about how great they are when it’s obvious they’re not 100% joking. 

Men who have a strong sense of tactful humor, on the other hand, portray an aura of social confidence and masculine leadership. In contrast to guys who don’t know how to break out of the cycle of sarcastic belittling, men who are truly witty and intelligent with their use of humor while being respectful of whom they’re speaking with (i.e., women) end up sounding much smarter, more positive and mature, and will be much more attractive to the majority of women. As C.S. Lewis said, “Only a clever mind can make a joke about virtue.” Flippancy is the cheap and lazy substitute for genuine wit, which comes with a well-educated mind.

i love funny guys

8 Personality Humor Types

According to the Myers-Briggs personality breakdown, different personalities have varied types of humor (and many have a mix). Some personalities are a bit more careful to match their jokes with their social setting, like ENFJs, ESFJs, and sometimes INFJs. Meanwhile, others will simply say what’s on their mind, and some might even enjoy it when their humor is controversial and somewhat uncomfortable for others. This is especially true for ESFPs and INFPs. 

Other studies show that extroversion and introversion play a role in the expression of humor. Extroverts tend to have a higher level of confidence in their abilities, including their funniness. The extroverted man has higher faith in his joke being received well by his audience.

While personality humors apply to both sexes, guys make an interesting read in the science of anthropology. Men are usually much more straightforward than women, and they don’t spend energy on trying to overthink things but usually paint a very readable map of themselves in their verbal expressions as well as their body language. And while there are approximately 12 different types of humor, we’ll focus on eight of the most popular genres. I also asked some guy friends about their styles of humor and included their opinions. 

1. Sarcastic

Probably one of the most popular ingredients of flirting and humorous quips, sarcasm needs moderation and good communication. Just like seasoning in cooking, sarcasm can be overused. It’s an artful, delicate balance. Personalities like ENFJ have an affinity for sarcasm, and they can blend it with a dark or goofy touch.

Sarcastic banter can be funny in a snarky and spicey way, but it can easily merge over to toxic or belittling (towards you or others) and can be a means for disrespect and insults to creep into the conversation. Some guys flirt with sarcasm but sometimes don’t know how to turn it off, and it also can easily come off as immature. In fact, the word sarcasm originates from the Greek word “sarkazein,” which literally means “to tear or strip the flesh off.” This is why people often view sarcastic comments as “cutting” and someone who is habitually sarcastic as someone with a “sharp tongue.” 

oh thats very funny sarcastic

2. Slapstick

The downright silly goofball – this guy can be quite the stand-up comedian. He likes to make people laugh and knows how to be lighthearted and not take himself too seriously. He can often be a combo of goofy and sarcastic or goofy with dry humor. This is very typical for the ESTP personality type. There’s a time and place for everything, however, and if there’s too much goofing off at the wrong times, then some of these guys may come off as a bit flippant, immature, or somewhat superficial, so people may not take them seriously (although they can be very sensitive and sincere). 

One guy friend said he usually resorts to goofy actions and cynical dry humor that pokes fun at awkward situations. He’s the type who would send an explosion gif or popcorn emoji in the midst of an intense group chat text war.

alrighty then

3. Puns and Dad Jokes

This is a guy who loves a play on words and can often express his wit very cleverly. Often an ENFP personality, this guy has a playful and enthusiastic sense of positive humor and loves to get others to laugh at his jokes. Though this kind of humor can be very wholesome, we know that dad jokes can only carry you so far.

A couple of guys told me that even though they know the dad jokes are lame, that’s what makes them funny. People still laugh at them because they can make simple, everyday things amusing.

dad joke

4. Controversial

There are also guys who can glean unlimited entertainment from political and social drama. Some guys love poking fun at the social and political absurdities du jour and making people uncomfortable over controversy, especially when there’s a conflict of logic. A guy friend mentioned he gets a kick out of political correctness and controversial topics “because they’re taboo,” and that it’s just funny when public figures either say outrageous things or awkwardly dig themselves in a hole from their own stupidity. 

This also applies to sexist and racist jokes. Possibly because he knows they’re taboo and make people uncomfortable, a man who makes racist or sexist jokes isn’t necessarily coming from a hostile mentality, but it’s the discomfort from the taboo subjects that gets them tickled. A few of my guy friends will take any opportunity to land a sexist joke or laugh at gender politics. ENTJ personalities especially love pushing the envelope to see how far an outrageous jest can go. The forbidden fruit mentality comes in many shapes and sizes.

5. Self-Deprecating

INFP personalities often have a gift for comedic self-deprecation and a deep appreciation for absurd humor. A man who knows how to make a good poke at himself shows he doesn’t take himself too seriously. Excessive self-deprecation can indicate a lack of self-esteem and show a tendency to criticism, but this guy doesn’t necessarily have self-esteem issues, so don’t assume he’s insecure right off the bat. 

i am useless

6. Dry/Deadpan

This a form of wit that’s hard to do well. It can be very funny, while it might also tend toward morbidity and cynicism, which can easily turn negative and pessimistic, so a guy might have to work a bit harder than others to stay positive. Guys with this type of humor often have a personality like ISTJ, INFJ, or INTJ/ENTJ. 

A guy friend mentioned he is dry and deadpan through and through, usually being the one to respond with a monotone “neat” or “cooool” to an awkward comment or situation or make a morbidly deadpan quip that others may need a second to process before laughing out loud. He also commented that his humor can get cynical, which to some could come off as negative while others might just think him even funnier in a surprising way.

7. Dark and Morbid

This type can often be mixed with a dry/deadpan or a sarcastic sense of humor. Common for more introverted personalities like ISTP and INFJ, guy humor that tends to be dark and morbid can be surprisingly comedic but often misinterpreted by the wrong audience or considered shocking or crude. 

One guy who used dark and morbidly dry humor told me that people often were confused by (but still laughed at) it. It was also sarcastic in a consistently dark and snarky way which provided fuel for his loquacious commentaries.

princess bride thats the worst thing ive ever heard

8. Sexual

Sexual humor includes innuendos and gay humor – some guys just love making gay jokes and bringing on the bromance. I knew a couple of guys who pounced on making a dirty pun every chance they got, especially if it piggy-backed off an innocent comment from someone else. Of course, it can be funny, not to mention spicey and romantic when in dating mode, but it can quickly become inappropriate and reasonably uncomfortable in the wrong time and place or when you’re just getting to know someone. A guy who makes an excess of these quips might be a bit sex obsessed and flippant, so it’s important to note how and how often this happens in dating.

shrek compensating for something

Closing Thoughts 

Humor is a necessary element of human interaction. As C.S Lewis put it, “Humor is for them the all-consoling and … the all-excusing grace of life.” It eases tension, takes the edge off conflict, and relaxes anxiety. The type of comedy you enjoy and are attracted to is incredibly personal, but it’s an essential element in romantic chemistry and bonding nonetheless.

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