Why We Want A Man With A Good Sense Of Humor

Many men fall into the trap of believing that all women find attractive about men are their looks and their bank account.

By Jenny White4 min read
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Attraction for women remains forever multi-faceted, with many hidden layers that stoke robust desire. And for women, attraction is very often psychological. 

The old saying goes, “Men fall in love with their eyes, women fall in love with their ears.” This is why so many women often fall prey to the gushy lovebombing stages in a new relationship but will then dance around the fact that a man’s words don’t align with his actions. 

“I just don’t get it. He told me I meant the world to him, and then he ghosted me.” Words mean much more to women than many men realize.

Women can very easily fall in love with their ears. That’s how Jim Carrey, with his sharp and well-equipped sense of humor, can land hot babes like Jenny McCarthy. And luckily, men are very often gifted with a sense of humor as an inherent biological trait because, again, wooing women tends to be more of a psychological phenomenon rather than a purely visual attractiveness endeavor as it very often is the case with men.

The Humor Gap

Female comedian Susan Prekel describes the so-called humor gap in the New York comedian scene. Whereas men find her “repulsive” by the end of her set, “male comics get swarmed. They do very well with women. I see it all the time.” 

As it turns out, these comedians may just be experiencing a dramatized version of how men and women relate to humor. Both sexes cite the need for a partner with a good sense of humor, but it turns out the way each sex defines “a good sense of humor” is very different – and it matters. 

Men want someone who appreciates their jokes, while women prefer someone who makes them laugh.

Men want someone who appreciates their jokes, while women prefer someone who makes them laugh. According to Scientific American, “The complementary nature of these desires is no accident. Researchers suspect humor has deep evolutionary roots – in 1872 Charles Darwin noticed chimpanzees giggling as they played – and many argue that the laws of natural selection can help explain the complex senses of humor we have today.”

A man with a sense of humor is very desirable to women across the board. So just how important is a sense of humor in men? Let’s dig in and find out…

A Sense of Humor Denotes Strong Male Leadership and Social Skills

The man who can make a woman laugh has demonstrated on some level that he possesses above-average intelligence, which should indicate that he has intact social skills. Correctly timing a joke and even the manner in which a man can deliver a joke and make it land in an amusing and impactful way is a skill set that’s severely undervalued in today’s mixed-bag dating marketplace. 

It’s not just the joke that seals the deal. It turns out that laughter itself plays a pivotal role in attraction. Jeffrey Hall, Ph.D., an associate professor at the University of Kansas, has done several studies on the subject, and his findings are fascinating.

Hall told Healthline, “The studies I set out to do were intended to look at a theory that’s out there that says when men make jokes they are trying to advertise something about themselves, so by being funny they’re trying to advertise their intelligence. In other words, humor is a good sign of a good brain or intelligence.”

Humor is a good sign of a good brain or intelligence.

One of Hall’s studies had a group of heterosexual college students paired together, and they were asked to talk to each other for 10 minutes while they were video recorded. After the conversations, the students were asked to rate how attracted they were to the other person. The results didn’t show that one sex tried to be funnier than the other, but they showed that the more a man tried to be funny and the woman laughed at his jokes, the more likely the woman was to be romantically interested in him.

When you’re first meeting someone, humor is a great icebreaker. It shows that a person is trustworthy to us on a more personal level. It allows us to connect intimately by having a good chuckle. Unfortunately, it’s a highly overlooked and underused method in building a solid rapport with women.

For men, it’s a brilliant way to lead a conversation. For many men today seeking some form of leadership in their relationships (which seems elusive and daunting to them), leading with a good joke is powerful. It creates a sense of disarming credibility and helps a woman become more emotionally in-tune with a man through the simple act of making her laugh.

It Takes the Edge Off Conflict and Provides a Sense of Stress Relief

Women today are under a lot of stress as a result of our hectic schedules and a mounting career workload. But having a man to laugh with, who provides a sense of lightness and levity in our relationship, provides a sense of relief.

My husband is funny. We travel together for work and often find ourselves being bogged down with mundanities and deadlines or dealing with rush hour traffic. At the most unexpected moments, he throws in a zinger, and I immediately feel a sense of comfort through stressful periods that may otherwise seem unbearable.

My message to men is this: If your woman is stressed out and comes home to unload her “workplace blues” on you, throw in a joke and watch her stress melt away. She will be more relaxed and open to letting go of all the worries plaguing her. 

If you can make her laugh through the toughest of times, she’ll see you as a source of inspiration.

Women often look to their men for guidance and male wisdom. A lighthearted joke can soften her mood and provide her with an “escape” where she will very often turn to you to continue to provide that sense of relief.

If you can make her laugh through the toughest of times, she’ll see you as a source of inspiration. She’ll desire you to contribute that sense of soul nourishment that’s missing in other areas of her life.

Who would’ve thought that a simple laugh can make a woman open up and be more receptive to you? 

Laughter Is a Bonding Mechanism 

With all the pickup advice in the manosphere, many men seem to think it’s a chore and a task to make a woman laugh. They insist it’s mentally and emotionally exhausting to “emulate a clown” and go to great lengths to “entertain” a woman.

I would advise men not to view making a woman laugh as a taxing pursuit on a man’s relationship morale, but instead look at it as a gateway drug to building lasting, passionate attraction. 

People don’t just bond through sex and physical attraction. They bond through other grey area nuances and circumstances in relationships that force us to communicate our needs in more indirect ways.

Laughter is an indirect response to stimuli that releases bonding hormones like endorphins and serotonin. Attraction is all about feel-good hormones, and laughing is one the surest ways to release those hormones.

Closing Thoughts 

It’s very bad advice to insist naturally gifted funnymen are clowns who perform for women in trying to make them laugh and entertain them. Instead, it’s strong male leadership. It’s leading a woman right where she wants to go – into the arms and embrace of a man who leads the relationship where she offers him her trust, deference, and admiration. 

If you can make a woman feel good through laughing, she will trust you. She will warm to you and think, “I finally have someone who understands me and makes me feel good.”

A lasting, fulfilling relationship is truly all about how great the other person feels in your presence. 

Don’t discount laughter as the way to a woman’s heart. It works.