Why More Women Are Choosing To Be Feminine, Not Feminist

Women are waking up to the reality of what third wave feminism produces in their lives and are turning away from the toxic ideology in droves.

By Robyn Riley6 min read
Unsplash Arun Sharma Free to use under the Unsplash License
Unsplash/Arun Sharma

For too long, women have felt the need to deny their true nature and their femininity in favor of the feminist mindset, and the results are in — it’s making us sick and miserable. 

Modern Feminism Is Rooted in Marxist Critical Theory

Third wave feminism is an ideology rooted in Marxist critical theory and therein lies its inability to produce positive results for those practicing it. Marxism, in simple terms, focuses primarily on seeing the world and all its issues through the lens of economic class. The dichotomy of oppressor and oppressed is used to explain all woes that may befall an individual. 

The idea that the individual’s freedom in society is constrained by an economic oppressor via capitalism was used to explain women’s issues. Men and a male-controlled society were determined to be the causes of all women’s troubles, and thus was birthed the brand of Marxist feminism we’re enduring today. Men suddenly were no longer our protectors and providers, our sons and our husbands, but our oppressors. 

According to these radical feminists, this oppression is enforced and maintained throughout history by “the patriarchy,” an elusive and omnipresent impediment to women’s freedom and advancement. Out of this ideology, a gender war emerged that’s still ongoing and has made not only men and women feel at odds with each other, but has made women feel at odds with themselves.

The Marxist dichotomy of oppressor and oppressed is used to explain all woes that may befall an individual. 

This entire worldview is false and theoretical. Let’s just get that out of the way now. Women and men are not equal in their roles or their ability for natural biological reasons, which is not only good, but is far more practical than any modern feminist would like to admit. There are some things women excel at and others that best remain in men’s domain. We have complementary attributes, not interchangeable attributes. 

The widespread belief that women are not only meant to do all the things men do, but that they would be much happier and fulfilled if they did them alongside men, has ironically resulted in modern women being more unhappy than in any other period in recorded history. The more women have turned away from their nature and the roles best suited to them, the more they have become clinically depressed and without direction. 

Women have been told that work is liberation and that total financial independence from their husbands is necessary for security. This obsession with “money as freedom” and “status as identity” permeates all aspects of modern life, and not surprisingly women feel lost and angry. We have been misled away from our natural inclinations for traditional female roles and femininity itself because a loud minority has hijacked the conversation.

Women are either working 40 hours a week while managing homes and children, attempting to balance it all, or they’re drifting in reckless abandon, hopping from one casual sexual encounter to the next and assuaging their maternal instincts by amassing extensive tropical plant collections and small animals. 

What Radical Feminism Gets Wrong

Third wave feminism is not about being free, it’s about mimicking men. This alone requires us to deny our femininity. Simone De Beauvoir, one of the grandmothers of feminist philosophy and critical thought, worked hard to undermine the beauty, grace, and virtuousness of women’s work. Instead of giving women a way to think of their roles as dignified, worthy, enjoyable, and necessary, she made every attempt possible to degrade it.

She mocked motherhood: “That the child is the supreme aim of the woman is a statement having precisely the value of an advertising slogan.” She mocked homemaking: “Few tasks are more like the torture of Sisyphus than housework with its endless repetition.” She insulted femininity: “To be feminine is to show oneself as weak, futile, passive and docile.” And she even mocked marriage: “To catch a husband is an art; to hold him is a job.” 

Feminism is not about being free, it’s about mimicking men.

When proponents tell you that radical feminism is just about equality and it’s about women being free to live as they choose, remember these foundational quotes made by feminist thought leaders like De Beauvoir. Underneath the bows and ribbons championing "girl power" is an absolute and unyielding hatred for all things traditionally feminine.

All of this has produced in women an intense resistance to wanting to build families, to date for marriage, to see motherhood as something that’s empowering or fulfilling. Femininity is not seen as creative, nurturing, wise and gentle as it should be, but as simply being a doormat. 

Maybe these things aren’t for all women, but the idea that the majority of women would be made unhappy by embracing their feminine spirit, and through marriage and family, is possibly the most harmful product of feminist pop-culture. 

Women who naturally feel called to feminine roles and behavior often feel alienated by modern feminism and its proponents. They have to actively deny their true selves in order to adopt the label, and this is one of the main reasons we see women turning away from feminism in favor of femininity. 

The Attack on Family

Furthermore, radical feminists have intentionally targeted the nuclear family. 

“To complete destruction of traditional marriage and the nuclear family is the ‘revolutionary or utopian’ goal of feminism.” — Kate Millet. 

“The nuclear family must be destroyed… whatever its ultimate meaning, the break-up of families now is an objectively revolutionary process.” — Linda Gordon. 

Unfortunately, there seems to be some success in this area as there are fewer people getting married and having children now than ever.

Radical feminists will tell you we need to destroy the family to set both men and women free of its oppressive effect on their lives, but in reality, studies show that married people report higher life satisfaction than single people. 

Also, it's important to note the effect that this has on the younger generation. Children born into single-parent households do worse in school, are more likely to grow up in poverty, have a criminal record and problems with drug addictions, report having a higher degree of anxiety and depression (especially among young girls), and even have a lower literacy rate.  

Not only are the women who are raising children alone living harder existences, but the children they raise have a higher degree of struggle than their peers growing up in traditional families. So what exactly is there to be gained by destroying the family structure? 

Families are the first building block of true happiness, independence from the state, and intergenerational wealth.

Families are the first building block of true happiness, independence from the state, and intergenerational wealth. Self-sufficiency is easier to achieve when you’re a part of a family unit because, ideally, you have the consistent support of family members to rely on when in need. Oppressive governments don’t want citizens to have access to this kind of personal power. 

Strong multi-generational family units are far harder to control than vulnerable individuals. In my opinion, control is what is truly to be gained by pitting man against woman and devaluing family life. Feminists are useful idiots and proxy warriors of a greater battle to destabilize society, reduce personal liberty, and make tyrannical rule easier.

When women accept their femininity, we see them embracing their natural desire for family and children. The realization of the cruel fate that awaits feminists who choose to live out their final years alone, leaving no legacy behind aside from what achievements appear on their resume, is something that’s very relevant in women’s decision to turn away from the ideology.

The War on Beauty

Women innately love beauty rituals and will always care about being perceived as being beautiful. Some ancient beauty practices are still used today in some cultures, their origin being women’s nature, and not the patriarchy as some would have you believe. 

The feminist concept of the “male gaze” originated in Film Theory and is a component of what has derailed women’s natural desire for beautification. Feminist theorists make the claim that women only care about looking feminine because men expect them to. They believe that the objectification and representation of women's bodies in cinema and media reduce women to mere symbolic images of the male ideal. They imagine women become hollow husks when they participate in beauty rituals or take seriously beauty standards that are shown in mainstream media.

Women innately love beauty rituals and will always care about being perceived as being beautiful. 

The truth is far simpler. Women enjoy being beautiful, and there are objective standards for beauty that we all instinctively agree on. Beauty is tied up with genetic health and fertility, topics feminists recoil at. Certainly, our sense of worth and self-esteem shouldn’t be entirely tied up with our appearance, but it’s impossible to deny that being beautiful comes with its advantages. 

The high standards of female beauty we see in cinema are more representative of the artistic and aspirational nature of film itself than the oppressive sexual politics of men’s gaze. Directors desire for things to look perfect on screen. They construct moving images to be aesthetically pleasing in the same way a painter does with his brush.

The result of buying into this myth is feminist women who make themselves intentionally ugly so as to deflect men’s gaze and to neutralize any feeling of competition among themselves and other feminists. They take the normal standards of the day and do the opposite, simply to undermine the power structure within beauty culture. By revolting against the hierarchies of female dominance established by beauty standards, they attempt to shame all women into being equally ugly. 

Recovering from Feminism

The stories of what happens to women when they fight their nature of being feminine speak for themselves. Many women feel they have been led astray by feminism and have made their natural inclinations to be feminine associated with shame. This has made it increasingly difficult to relate to the masculine men they’re attracted to. It has made them physically and mentally sick. Their recovery stories are astounding.

Popular social media influencer Bernadine Bluntly has documented many women’s stories of recovery after rejecting feminism.

What awaits you is domestic harmony, purpose, meaning, and legacy in the true sense of the word. 

Women unanimously report suffering from depression, eating disorders, drug addictions, and abusing and exploiting themselves while under the influence of feminism. Once they wake up to the damage it has done to them, their lives change. They often find husbands, have children, become happy and healthy, and even find God. 

This is what is on the other side of feminism. What awaits you is domestic harmony, purpose, meaning, and legacy in the true sense of the word. What happens when women turn away from feminism is evidence in itself of the ideology’s toxic and hate-fueled falseness. When women wake up to reality and accept their nature, they become successful, happy, and fulfilled in ways they could have only dreamed of before.

Closing Thoughts

If we’re acting masculine the way feminism prescribes, we damage our ability to relate to the men we’re attracted to in a complementary and feminine way. We create conflict where there need not be any, and we lose touch with the things that have the potential to make us truly happy. We begin to believe that our biology as women is a force against us, as opposed to the life-giving force that it is. 

Feminism has done great damage to an entire generation of women, but hope is not lost. Women are waking up to the falseness of this ideology. You can’t fight against nature. While nature isn’t always fair, it is pragmatic. Women have the roles they do for good reason, and they come with a set of both advantages and disadvantages. Camille Paglia is correct when she says, “Feminism was always wrong to pretend that women could ‘have it all.’ It is not male society but mother nature who lays the heaviest burden on women.”

That burden can be carried with grace if we choose not to point our fingers like children and blame others for our particular struggles. If we accept our roles as mothers, wives, creatives, educators, and harborers of beauty with gratitude, these things don’t cause any major strife and can actually be experienced as the main sources of our freedom and happiness.