When you first meet a guy, do you stalk him? Online, that is! If so, you’re not alone.
Approximately 75% of women and 61% of men are likely to snoop on their potential date’s social media profiles before meeting up. It’s natural to want to do a little digging on the guy you’re about to meet to make sure that he’s a good person with similar interests. You want to get a sense of who he really is, but is checking out his social media profiles really helping you do that?
When we look at someone’s social media, we think we’re getting to know them better, but what we’re really doing is making up a version of them in our mind. Social media is a highlight reel, after all. It can help you find out a few key facts, like where a person lives, what they like to do, and who their friends are. But you’re not actually getting to know their true self, you’re getting to know their curated self.
Every once in a while, you might come across a man with no social media presence at all. At first, this can be jarring. Maybe you even consider it a red flag. After all, how are you supposed to make sure that he’s not a serial killer if he doesn't have an Instagram handle? Just because a guy doesn’t use social media, however, doesn't mean that there's something wrong with him. In fact, men who don’t use social media are not only super appealing, but they actually make better boyfriends. Here are all the reasons why:
He’s Confident in Himself
A guy who doesn’t have social media is less likely to care about what other people think. He doesn’t feel the need to “keep up with the Joneses” or impress random people on the internet by posting about the latest vacation he took. People who don’t use social media are often happier than those who do because it cuts down on emotions like anxiety and depression. It creates a sense of inner peace when you’re not constantly comparing yourself to others and questioning why you’ve failed in areas where they’ve succeeded.
He doesn’t feel the need to impress other people.
We’ve all heard the phrase “don’t compare your chapter one with someone else’s chapter 20,” and while we know in our hearts that’s true, it’s difficult to put into practice when you’re bombarded by other people's successes on social media all day, every day. A guy without social media doesn’t experience that. He can focus on the things going on in his life and deal with issues as they arise, instead of issues he fabricates in his mind based on what he sees on social media. He also has more time to get out in the real world and create meaningful experiences.
He Has Strong Friendships
When you can’t keep up with friends via their latest Instagram stories, then you’re more likely to – gasp – see them in real life! If your guy wants to know about his friend’s latest promotion, or move, or any other life event, then he has to talk to them in person or at least over the phone. Just because someone doesn’t have social media doesn’t mean they’re a hermit. Quite the opposite, in fact. A guy who has no social media likely has a very active social life, he just doesn’t feel the need to post about it.
A guy with no social media probably has a very active social life, he just doesn’t post about it.
One of my ex-boyfriends didn’t use any social media, and I was always really impressed at how he prioritized hanging out with his friends. He’d invite people over often, for no particular reason other than to have a quick drink or share dinner and sit on the porch and catch up. It was really sweet. Your guy might have a smaller social circle if he doesn’t use social media, but it’s probably stronger because he prioritizes those friendships and sees his friends more often.
It Cuts Down on Petty Arguments
If he’s not on Instagram, then you don’t have to worry about who he’s following, or whose posts he’s liking, or why he still has that picture up of him with his ex-girlfriend. Sure, the picture is from eight years ago, but still! Why is it there? Does he keep it up because he still has feelings for her? And his friend Lisa from college is really pretty. Is he following her and liking all of her photos because he’s secretly in love with her?
That kind of thinking is extremely unhealthy and detrimental to a relationship. If you really trust your boyfriend, then you shouldn’t be asking questions like those. If he doesn’t use social media, however, then there’s no way for these issues to come up at all! A lack of social media cuts down on petty arguments that stem from your perception of your man’s online persona. Instead, you can fight about things that happen in the real world like him leaving the toilet seat up again.
He’s More Focused on You
A guy who doesn’t use social media is probably not narcissistic. He doesn’t feel the need to look a certain way or spend hours crafting the perfect social media caption. He’s not spending his days weighing the pros and cons of Mayfair versus Ludwig, which means he has more time for the things that actually matter in his life, like your relationship! How many hours do you think you waste scrolling online? It’s probably a lot more than you think. We tend to mimic the habits and mannerisms of those closest to us, so if you’re dating a man without social media, you’ll probably spend less time on it too which is a win for both of you! This will make your relationship a lot stronger because now you’ll have more time to grow your relationship, engage in meaningful conversations, and share fun experiences.
If you break up, his lack of a social media presence will make it a lot easier to get over him.
It Will Be a Clean Break
If things don’t work out and you and your man sadly break it off, his lack of a social media presence will make it a lot easier to get over him. It’ll be a clean break. You won’t feel the need to lurk his social profiles to find out what he’s doing, who he’s seeing, and if he has found someone new yet. There will be nothing for you to misinterpret or obsess over. It will help your heart heal faster so you can move on without constantly looking back to see what you’re missing.
Don’t we all have those days where we wish we could cut ties with social media for the sake of our own sanity? I’m not saying you should go and delete your Instagram account, but we all know we should spend less time on social media. So even if you and your boyfriend both use it, consider this your sign to cut down on the scrolling and focus more on strengthening your relationship!
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