Why Are So Many Women Threatened By Nara Smith?

To those who’ve never stumbled across her viral TikToks, Nara Smith is best known for her soothing narrations of lavish, homemade meals, all while dressed in stunning, often vintage-inspired outfits. She makes elaborate snacks for her 3 adorable children while her husband, male supermodel Lucky Blue Smith, wanders in and out of frame to give her kisses.

For many women, she’s "goals," but for many others, she’s the source of bitter eye-rolls, nasty comments, and unhinged think pieces. Some say the backlash comes from "influencer fatigue" or simple jealousy, but in her case, it’s more complicated.

Because her critics don’t just dislike her. They spiral. Entire comment sections fill with accusations of grooming, brainwashing, and oppression, with women saying she should be doing anything but being a young wife and mother. They insist she's "privileged," that she has no agency, that she’s secretly depressed, or that she’s part of a larger conspiracy designed to trick other women into domestic servitude.

And yet, the only thing she’s actually doing online is enjoying her family, dressing well, cooking from scratch, and building a lifestyle brand that girlbosses everywhere could only dream of. Which makes you wonder why so much vitriol is reserved for Nara Smith specifically, when the internet is filled with other wealthy, beautiful women documenting their curated lives?

She’s not controversial in any of the usual ways. She’s not promoting a political movement, pushing hot takes, or yelling into a ring light about culture wars. Yes, she’s wealthy, but so are thousands of other influencers who film GRWMs for brunch or yacht parties without constant venom thrown their way. The same women who rage at Nara are unbothered when their favorite liberal celebs flaunt their wealth, so her “privilege” isn’t the real issue.

If a quirky, childless 20-something were baking homemade bread in full glam, they’d call it self-care. If it were a middle-aged divorcée, she’d be praised for “living her best life.” If it were a man pretending to be a woman dressed in Dior, they’d say it’s brave and progressive. And if an obese woman got dolled up in vintage Chanel to make her man a fancy dinner, she’d be hailed as a sexy goddess.

So it's not the aesthetic or the performance that people hate, it's the messenger: a thin, naturally beautiful, young mother who chooses a traditional aesthetic and role, and enjoys it. That's what truly flips the switch in these women's brains and makes them forget all about the importance of "empathy" and "choice," despite their repeated insistence that those two things matter above all else.

Not a Lecture, Just a Lifestyle

In a recent sit-down with Jay Shetty, Nara tried to make her position even clearer: that she’s not pushing a worldview, she’s just living her life. “I’m just putting out content…If you feel some type of way about it, you can also just keep scrolling,” she said. She also explicitly untethered herself from the “tradwife” label. She’s just loving her husband, raising her kids, and wearing designer dresses while she makes homemade cereal. The fact that she looks happy and beautiful while doing it is what many people can't seem to stand.

Nara told Jetty that when people hear that she has three kids at 23, and that she had her first just a few weeks after turning 19 (and she's currently pregnant with her 4th), they can’t hide their shock. Why aren’t you in the clubs? Why aren’t you doing this or that? But as she puts it, those questions say more about the people asking them than about her. “I’ve come to realize that a lot of the time, people aren’t actually asking out of curiosity. They’re projecting. They’re describing the life they think they want, and assuming I must want the same thing.”

The assumption, of course, is that joy is only found in one direction: toward independence and self-discovery on purely individualistic terms. But Nara’s life goes a different way. “This was my choice. That doesn’t mean it’s the right choice for everyone, just like someone else’s path wouldn’t necessarily be right for me,” she explained. “We’re all on our own individual journeys.”

She added that she never thought that her timeline of being married young and having kids early was unusual until other people insisted it was. But even then, she says, “I wouldn’t take it back for the world. It was the best decision we could have made for us. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it changes your life. But there’s so much joy in it. There’s so much love. And so much growth. Having children teaches you so much. Patience, understanding, humility. You learn so much from having children…whether that's patience or understanding or whatever it is."

Somehow, that perspective is supposed to be a "controversial" one. Her life is full of love, responsibility, and personal growth, and yet we’re really supposed to believe she’s missing out on something better at "the clubs," or that she’s perpetuating something oppressive. Why?

Femininity Must Be Subverted, or It Must Be Mocked

Just this week, The Washington Post ran a piece suggesting that feminine dresses are "political." At one point, the author explains that for many women, femininity only becomes acceptable when it’s subverted and paired with combat boots or clownish lipstick. In other words, traditional femininity is not allowed because it signals weakness and a desire to please men.

Women like Nara unapologetically break that unspoken rule, and that's why she has a target on her back. She represents a type of femininity that many women have been told is "dangerous," especially because she makes it look so appealing. Her happy, glamorous image suggests that the cultural script women have been handed for the last few decades, which says young love is foolish, that marriage and motherhood are a trap, and domestic work is misery, isn't entirely true. Her existence is so triggering because it means that tradition, when chosen freely, can be a source of beauty and happiness.

That's why people bend over backwards to dismiss or vilify her. They insist it’s all fake, or that it’s only made possible by money, or that she must be lying about how she really feels when she says she doesn't want to be "liberated" from motherhood. Perhaps the biggest trigger for many women is that her version of femininity doesn't have to be ironic or raunchy to be powerful.

To be fair, many of her critics don't even realize that they're prejudiced towards her. They think their disdain is justified because, in their minds, she's emblematic of conservative political ideology even though she's never identified with it. But that's how deep their social programming goes, not hers.

The truth is she’s not out to convert anyone, and she’s not trying to change your mind. She’s just showing you what’s possible. And for most women, it looks pretty fabulous, even if they're not willing to admit it.