What's The Difference Between Mothering And Nurturing Energy?

The concept of feminine energy, a tradition passed down through generations, has recently resurfaced in contemporary discourse, sparking curiosity and intrigue.

By Gina Florio4 min read
Shutterstock/Halinskyi Max

This resurgence can be attributed to the evolving landscape of feminism, which, in its pursuit to empower women, has often emphasized traits traditionally associated with masculine energy. Such traits include aggression and a relentless pursuit of objectives, encouraging women to adopt a more dominant stance in society's gender dynamics. While these efforts were aimed at leveling the playing field, they inadvertently led to a noticeable imbalance. This shift has left many women yearning for a reconnection with their inherent feminine energy, seeking a balance that feels increasingly elusive in the modern context.

What Is Feminine Energy?

Feminine energy is characterized by a fundamental shift from a proactive to a receptive stance in life's various interactions. This energy is not something that can be superficially adopted; it requires genuine practice and development until it naturally becomes your predominant approach to life. At its essence, feminine energy embodies a state of receiving, fostering care and love while respecting boundaries. It eschews the compulsion to solve every problem, overcommit, or dominate conversations. Instead, it champions the acceptance of love and support, fostering relationships where care, respect, and appreciation flow freely, all within the framework of well-maintained boundaries.

The practical application of feminine energy can be transformative, and it inherently involves graciousness, generosity, and charity, among other qualities. In the whirlwind of contemporary life, where women often juggle multiple roles, the neglect of basic physical, emotional, and spiritual needs can lead to exhaustion, irritability, and a sense of unfulfillment. Despite achieving numerous milestones, the absence of a balanced engagement with their feminine energy can leave women feeling incomplete. The re-embrace of feminine energy not only offers a pathway to personal fulfillment but also redefines the narrative of empowerment, suggesting that true strength lies in the balance between giving and receiving, asserting and accommodating.

Nurturing Is Part of Our Natural Feminine Energy

You’ve probably heard many times that women are designed to be more nurturing than men are. That’s one of the best qualities of our beloved mothers; they nurtured us and cared for us from day one, showing softness and tenderness in the moments we needed it the most. For many modern women who have fallen for the feminist narrative, they have abandoned their nurturing abilities, especially because so many of them are intentionally avoiding marriage and motherhood. You don’t need to be a mother in order to bring out your nurturing energy, but being a mom certainly does help you sharpen your nurturing skills.

Nurturing is a multifaceted concept that encompasses the provision of care, support, and encouragement to foster growth and development. It involves a deep sense of empathy, patience, and the ability to understand and meet the emotional, physical, and psychological needs of others. Nurturing is not merely a set of actions but a disposition that guides you to act in a way that promotes the well-being and flourishing of others, be it in the context of raising children, supporting partners, caring for friends, or even nurturing yourself.

Through their nurturing, women play a pivotal role in shaping the emotional landscape of their families and communities.

Women, through both societal roles and innate predispositions, have often been recognized for their exceptional capacity to nurture. This unique gift is not to say that men cannot be nurturing, but rather that women, on average, display a propensity for nurturing that is deeply ingrained in their socialization and their biological makeup. Women are traditionally the primary caregivers in families, a role that extends beyond mere biological functions to include the emotional and psychological nurturing of their children and loved ones. This role has historically equipped women with a keen sense of empathy and emotional intelligence, enabling them to tune in to the needs of others with remarkable sensitivity.

Moreover, women's nurturing abilities are complemented by their capacity for emotional labor, a skill that involves managing your own emotions while addressing the emotional needs of others. This emotional labor is critical in creating environments where trust, security, and emotional well-being are prioritized. Through their nurturing, women play a pivotal role in shaping the emotional landscape of their families and communities, fostering relationships characterized by empathy, support, and unconditional love.

Nurturing and Mothering Are Different Energies 

Now that we have defined what nurturing is, it’s time to decipher the difference between nurturing and mothering. It’s important to understand this distinction because it can easily make or break your relationship with your boyfriend or husband (particularly if you have children with him). Nurturing and mothering often go hand in hand when it comes to raising kids, but many women often make the mistake of mothering their husbands, perhaps because they’re just accustomed to mothering their children all day or because they’re feeling too tired and frustrated to transition out of the mothering state. 

Relationship expert and TikToker Margarita Nazarenko explains the difference between nurturing and mothering by pointing out that nurturing is something you do out of the goodness of your heart, without coming from a place of masculine energy or authority. Nurturing is certainly part of motherhood, but it’s most definitely not the whole part of motherhood. 

“Actually, mothering your children is actually a masculine energy,” she says. “It’s a yang. It’s knowing what you want, it’s pursuing that, it’s pushing it.” 

When you mother someone, you have a goal in mind you’re trying to achieve that you’re directing them to. She gives the example of when you have friends over for dinner or to watch a movie. You ask your friend if you can get her anything as she sits down to relax. She requests a glass of wine. Mothering energy would be to deny her the glass of wine and tell her she should have water because she should stay hydrated, she hasn’t eaten anything yet, and it’s a little too early to start drinking. It comes from a place of caring, but at the end of the day, it’s mothering, which is different from nurturing. If you were nurturing that friend, you would bring her a glass of wine and help her relax.

She says that asking your husband if he has eaten right, if he has taken his medicine, if he has done the right “chores,” is mothering. “And that is going to put you in a position where he eventually doesn’t want you,” she continues, and soon enough you’ll be wondering why you don’t have any sexual energy between you two anymore. Because mothering your husband is a love buster, and it will get in the way of your attraction to one another if it’s done too often. 

“If you want to nurture him, it’s from a genuine place of wanting to do something kind and nice for somebody,” she concludes. “You know the difference.” 

Closing Thoughts

Our husbands need our nurturing energy, while our kids need both mothering and nurturing. Learning to switch off the mothering energy with our husbands is not easy, but it’s necessary in order to keep the romance alive. There are many feminine aspects of motherhood, but there are masculine aspects too, and the trick is removing those masculine aspects from our relationship with our husband. Nagging is a common term that is used to describe a certain female behavior, and it could be argued that nagging falls under the category of mothering. No wonder it is such a love buster in relationships. Nurture your husband, care for him, and use your feminine energy to meet his needs – but try your best not to mother him.  

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