We Don't Need To Go Through A ‘Wild Girl' Phase

Often, to compensate for the freedoms women lacked in another era, film and media today glorify and encourage the “wild girl” phase, telling women that in order to liberate themselves, they must embrace a bit of recklessness.

By Simone Hanna3 min read
sex and the city we don't need to go through a wild girl phase

Many of these behaviors aren’t natural for women and are more likely to cause harm later in life than anything else – so why do we encourage such behavior?

Sexual Liberation and Casual Sex

A generation of OnlyFans, flashy jet-setting Instagram models, hookup culture, and hypersexual songs that slash their way through the billboards – it’s only natural that women of this era find the “wild girl” phase seemingly necessary in their early years, especially their twenties. Sexual liberation has taught women that it’s almost their duty to engage in such behavior and that by not engaging in this culture they’re doing themselves a disservice by not effectively using up their “prime” and “golden” years. 

When it comes to casual sex especially, many women often resort to it out of insecurity or to fill a void in their life, a void so ambiguous that they may not even be completely aware of its existence at the time. Sex today is less about “making love” than it has ever been. For many in the modern era, sex simply exists as temporary pleasure with temporary people. Women, of course, pay the price for this.

Sexual liberation has taught women that it’s almost their duty to engage in casual sex.

I can’t speak for everyone when I write this, but I personally have never met a happy and content woman who regularly engages in casual sex. In fact, researchers studying college relationships in the U.S. found that casual sex was associated with higher levels of anxiety and depression in both men and women. 

And it should be common knowledge by now that the hormone oxytocin, released in high doses in women during sex, causes them to bond with their partner — regardless of their partner’s intent to stick around. So, repeatedly hooking up is the equivalent of your hormones forming and breaking bonds over and over again, completely outside of how you might rationally approach the situation.

Despite something I’d assume to be obvious findings, film and modern media still remain eager to normalize overtly sexual behavior that rarely benefits real humans and their relationships long-term. Today, people often emphasize the importance of a woman’s choice, but that shouldn’t mean directing them into and condoning such issues that result in harm; it’s important we guide women into making healthy decisions and that they have strong role models to guide them

“But it’s liberating,” we’re told. “It’s my choice,” we hear. But why are women so eager to make these choices that clearly don’t benefit them long-term? 

Modern Women Are Less Likely To Settle Down 

Women today are more career-focused than ever, but alongside this drastic change, women of the modern era have developed much more masculine behaviors, specifically, casual sex. 

Additionally, countless studies and statistics show that women today are settling down and having children much later than previous generations, and this comes as a shock to...nobody. Of course, I’m not going to attempt to force any woman to settle down and start a family when she’s fresh out of college, but women today are increasingly put off by the idea of marrying or having children. 

Time and time again, we see stories of women waiting until they’re older to settle down, only to struggle to find a partner or to face increasing difficulty in conceiving children — both issues that, for many, are easier to accomplish earlier in their adulthood. 

Women who wait until they’re older to settle down might struggle to find a partner or to conceive.

Alongside this, an increasing number of women today view children as a burden, rather than what they are: a blessing. In an age where abortion is normalized in the media, nearly 1 in 5 pregnancies in the U.S. are aborted. Most reasons listed for abortions are inconveniences to the mother, and with more women being put off the idea of having children, abortions will continue to be a normal procedure for many in the U.S. and across much of the Western world. 

Women of today are taught to be career-driven and to embrace sexual recklessness and instant gratification, forever focusing on the present and giving little thought to their future needs and what actions may return to haunt them later in their adulthood. 

The Party Girl

Sex aside, the “wild girl” can often be found also seeking instant gratification and cheap thrills in drugs. Women who use drugs in their youth can also pay the price later in life. Scientists who study substance use have found that drug abuse has been linked to issues with hormones, menstrual cycles, fertility, pregnancy, breastfeeding, and menopause. Even legal drugs such as tobacco are related to an increased risk of stillbirth

Women also respond to drugs differently than men do. Studies show that women who engage in drug abuse are more likely to relapse after rehabilitation and are more likely to die from an overdose in comparison to males, as smaller amounts have larger impacts due to biological differences. 

Women users are more likely to die from a drug overdose than men.

While I wouldn’t say drug abuse is as glorified and as normalized in the media and television as casual sex is, it’s something that has grown with time, becoming a regular and casual act of hedonism for many, especially those on the party scene. No good can come from drug abuse — the highs are short and the comedowns are low. Women don’t need to engage in such behavior, no one does. 

Closing Thoughts 

Instant gratification has been one of the negatives of societal development, especially on the sexual side. Causal connections rarely cause long-term satisfaction. Rather, men and women thrive from genuine, wholesome companionship. 

Women don’t need to go out seeking short flings and cheap thrills in order to make the most of their youth. Women who genuinely want to make the most of their youth should do it by accomplishing things that will aid them in the future. No woman needs a “wild girl” phase, and it’s unlikely to be something she appreciates further into her adulthood.

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