3 Tips To Make Your Dating Profile Stand Out, According To A Dating Coach

Online dating is here to stay, along with the many dating apps that are putting multitudes of singles from all over the world front and center at your fingertips.

By Jenny White3 min read
Pexels/Mikhail Nilov

As a dating coach, I’ve seen my fair share of dating profiles that are duds. There’s a format these unfortunate folks tend to mistakenly follow that they believe will make them stand out. Indeed, there’s no arguing it does make them stand out, but in a very negative way. 

They concoct qualifying lists of dos and don’ts, replete with what appears to be nothing more than denigrations and insults. And they contain strange and outlandish stipulations that would immediately disqualify many singles, along with themselves, because their bios and descriptions are so off-putting that people find them distasteful and downright rude and embarrassing. 

The photographs they use also don’t sweeten the pot. Bathroom selfies with a toilet in the background, dirty mirrors, and clothes scattered everywhere aren’t going to impress the people with whom you would like to explore a possible committed relationship. But it’s all but guaranteed to attract the more indiscriminate folk among us who are desperate and don’t care how a bio reads or what a picture looks like, they just want sex, attention, and validation from anyone who will bother with them. 

Nonetheless, there are a few simple methods that can make your dating profile stand out in a great way to help you get many more desirable matches. So, how can you spruce up your dating profile, starting right now?

Use Good Photos That Are Up-To-Date

Many of the guys I’ve coached have sent me copies of their dating profiles for me to critique, and I’ve assisted them in selecting good quality photos. A higher quality photo selection should include at least one clear headshot and one whole body shot. According to The Match Lab, including a high quality headshot in your dating profile can make the difference between scoring a first date vs. getting a swipe left. 

Don’t be afraid to present yourself as less filtered and more unedited so people can see the real you. Many guys complain about filters because women are known to show up looking dissimilar to their profile photos, and they feel that they’ve been catfished. It’s better to display the real you so people will know what to expect and won’t feel they’ve been tricked or cheated, which never goes over well upon meeting in person. 

Many people have also said they get more matches using professional photos. If you can hire a professional photographer who specializes in taking photos specifically for dating profiles, they can help you select a theme and even color-match you in different ensembles and style choices to make your pictures more flattering. 

Types of pictures to avoid that don’t perform well:

  1. Group photos where a potential match can’t determine which person you are in the picture.

  2. Photos with sunglasses and hats. 

  3. Messy room/bathroom mirror selfies. 

  4. Provocative pictures because they give the wrong impression that you’re looking to hook up.

Indicate That You’re Looking for a Committed Relationship

Depending on which app you’re using, it may be prudent to indicate that you’re looking for a committed relationship. It can also help you avoid people who desire something more casual. However, context matters. If you’re looking for dates on hookup apps like Tinder, it’s implied that you’re seeking casual sex even if you aren’t. It’s hit or miss for women because, no matter how their bio reads, there will always be men approaching them for casual sex whether or not they indicate they’re looking for a serious, committed relationship.

You can help to separate the wheat from the chaff and find a more serious candidate on an app who has similar goals and interests by filling out your bio to specify your desires.

Keep in mind that men like to press for casual relationships on dating apps, irrespective of whether or not any woman decides to indicate they desire a serious relationship. It’s part and parcel of using dating apps where people and their bad manners and questionable behavior toward others are standard, and there’s not much we can do about it. 

Your best bet in these situations is to screen men early on as you match up with them. The men who are pressing for a casual relationship will often make that clear to you sooner rather than later, usually through their pushy and rude behavior. 

Avoid Negativity in Your Profile

I always advise the singles I work with to trim the fat in their profiles, especially to cut anything that is obnoxious or overly snarky and sarcastic. 

I tell women to get rid of the “six pack, six figures, six foot” trope in their bios and replace it with something more inviting, such as “Just a happy, single girl looking for a guy I’d really enjoy spending time with. Are you him?” Notice how this is much more simple yet still fun and inviting. And if you’re looking for more specifics in terms of your type according to your personal tastes, you can rule matches out later on who aren’t a good fit once you get to know them. 

For men, if they have a bio that reads, “Looking for a woman who’s a Trump supporter, has to be submissive, and has had fewer than two sexual partners,” I instruct them to write the following instead: “I’m a laid-back guy who enjoys working hard and playing harder. Looking for a woman who’s up for that. If this is you, say hi.” I encourage them to get rid of any and all negativity and outlandish (and unrealistic) specifications, along with the general abrasiveness and obnoxiousness that is rampant on dating apps. It helps them to gain many more matches as well. By getting rid of the costly (and often unnecessary) details, their profiles are more inviting and interesting to swipe on. 

If you’ve spent any significant time on dating apps, you’ve undoubtedly seen this negativity and bizarre arrogance splayed across any number of profiles, and it makes you immediately swipe away, never to see them again. If you can, use these profiles as an example of what not to do.

Nobody likes a Negative Nancy or a Debbie Downer. Thus, you can stand out in your dating profile and be heads above the crowd in avoiding being overly negative.

Closing Thoughts

Your dating profile says a lot about you at first glance. Fair or not, people will make immediate judgments about you based on how you present yourself. If you are negative, you will attract negative attention from the wrong people who likely won’t be a good fit for you. If your profile is more upbeat and inviting, you will attract more people overall, and that includes more desirable men you’d be compatible with.

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