TikTok Killed Tween Culture, But We Can Bring It Back From The Dead

In late 2023, the epidemic of the “Sephora tween” dominated TikTok. Both employees and customers took to the app to share horror stories of young girls misbehaving in the stores by destroying testers and on-shelf products, as well as spending hundreds of dollars on makeup and skincare products they don’t need. Some dermatologists and estheticians warned young girls that products containing anti-aging ingredients like retinol could damage their skin.

This trend blew the minds of so many young women because it was so different from our tween experiences. Many of us used minimal makeup from the drugstore, and our skincare routines consisted of basic cleansers and acne products. Twelve-year-old girls were suddenly using anti-aging products that most of us didn’t even consider until our mid to late twenties, and it’s safe to say that we’re all concerned.

The rise of the “Sephora tween” goes to show how the tween culture that dominated the 90s and 2000s no longer exists, and tween girls are now encouraged to skip the awkward phase and grow up before they're ready. How did we get here? And more importantly, how do we fix this?

What Is Tween Culture? 

In order to discuss tween culture, we have to begin with the origins of teen culture. According to the BBC, “Definitions of childhood have also varied historically: in the 19th Century, it was common for children under the age of 10 to work, and the idea of being a 'teenager’ didn’t exist until the 1940s. Before then, adolescents were simply seen to transition straight from childhood to adulthood.”

The postwar era of the 1950s saw unprecedented economic growth, creating markets for products ranging from clothes to beauty products exclusively for teenagers, and a new culture was born. Elvis Presley was the first teen heartthrob, creating the path for the Beatles to dominate pop culture and the hearts of teenage girls in the '60s. In the '80s and '90s, marketers realized that pre-teens (aged 9–12) were their own consumer base, creating a whole new world in fashion and pop culture for young girls.

This led to the creation of stores like Limited Too and popular Disney Channel shows like Lizzie McGuire, and it’s safe to say this culture peaked in the 2000s. Unfortunately, there is no equivalent for tweens today, essentially erasing the buffer from childhood to teenhood and encouraging girls to grow up faster than they want to.

Tween Fashion and Media Are Dead 

As a 1994 baby, my tween years were at the peak of the early 2000s and its glory. One of my favorite things to do was to look through the Limited Too catalog and try to recreate looks from shows like Lizzie McGuire, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, Hannah Montana, and movies like High School Musical (I’ll die on the hill that both Sharpay and Gabriella are fashion icons). Sure, the clothes were overpriced and went out of style almost as fast as milk expired, but the days when my mom could take my sisters and me to the mall to shop at Limited Too (and give an impromptu fashion show when we got home) will always bring a smile to my face.

Another staple of my tween years was tween media. My friends and I were obsessed with magazines like J-14, M, Tiger Beat, and Popstar, which gave us the latest celebrity gossip and posters of our favorite celebrities to put on the walls of our bedrooms at home and lockers at school. Days when a girl would bring a magazine into the cafeteria at lunch meant we all got to read them together, and nights of Disney Channel movie premieres were the perfect opportunity for sleepovers. Didn’t get to invite all of your friends to the sleepover? No worries, everyone was going to be talking about the movie at school on Monday.

I didn’t know it at the time, but the media and fashion marketed towards tweens not only helped shape my identity and taught me to explore new interests and be creative, but also introduced me to a community of girls at my school who had similar interests. This helped me create the #girlhood experiences that shape any young girl’s life, like choreographing dances in my best friend’s backyard and debating over which Jonas Brother was the cutest.

Obviously, things are different now. The fashion and media culture marketed towards tweens in the 2000s isn’t just different—it’s gone. Malls aren’t as prominent as they were due to the rise of online shopping, and clothes marketed towards young girls don’t translate as well online as they do in-store. Through their catalogs and bright and colorful stores, Limited Too created a fun atmosphere that made girls want to shop there and wear their clothes. While one could argue that Limited Too could just reinvent itself online, it’s not the same because the environment that made it so special doesn’t translate from a store to a web page.

After these popular mall stores shut down, huge online retailers like Amazon and brands that appeal to teenage girls and young women replaced them. In fact, the idea of marketing to tweens no longer exists. Alyssa Bonanno, co-founder of the creative agency Better Half, told The Face, “When you’re trying to target pre-teens, you don’t have a specific strategy for pre-teens, then teens, and then young 20-somethings. Age 10 – 24 is treated as nearly one group. ‘Pre-teens’ interests and behaviors on social [media] are virtually indiscernible from their teen counterparts.”

For tween-centered media, TikTok, Instagram, and shows catered to adults about the tween and teen experience, like Euphoria, have replaced our beloved magazines and Disney Channel shows. They don’t have boy bands telling them that they’re beautiful just the way they are, and social media influencers like Alix Earle have replaced 2000s teen idols like Hilary Duff and Miley Cyrus.

Both fashion and media were central to the tween identity in the 2000s, and their loss inevitably led to the erasure of tween culture. While the tween is a relatively new phenomenon, it represents a set of years that are important to a girl’s development. It’s a much-needed cushion between the years of being a young girl and being a teenager, allowing the transition to happen slowly as puberty progresses. This allows girls to act their age instead of plunging into the teen years before they are ready. It gives them time to be awkward, be creative, and help discover who they are before they deal with the pressure of being a teenager. While the awkward stage isn’t fun for anyone, erasing it erases the values and lessons that go along with the awkward phase.

The Value of the Awkward Phase 

You’ve likely seen plenty of videos on Instagram and TikTok comparing tweens today to tweens in the 2000s, and the difference between the two is stark. The tweens today are often dressed in crop tops and short shorts with their hair and makeup perfectly done, dancing inappropriately to music made for adults. Tweens in the 2000s are fully clothed, acting silly, giving off an awkward vibe, and genuinely look like they’re having a fun time.

The tween years used to be the pinnacle of awkwardness for most girls. Learning to do your hair and makeup is a skill that takes time, which is why many of us did such a horrible job doing our makeup and hair (who else scrunched their hair curly while straightening their side bangs?), but thought we looked as pretty as Lauren Conrad on the most recent episode of The Hills. We had intense crushes on boys at school but didn’t have the emotional maturity to express our feelings, and spent our free time daydreaming about how we’d interact with them in the hallway at school if we mustered up the courage to say hello. We acted like children because we were children.

TikTok Is To Blame

While one could argue that Instagram also plays a role, we all know that tweens are more likely to use TikTok. According to The New York Times, one in three TikTok users is under the age of 14, making tweens one of their most prominent demographics. Instagram data doesn’t count underage users, but 28.3% of users are between the ages of 25 to 34, suggesting that the app trends older than TikTok.

You could argue that TikTok simply replaced the tween media of yesteryear, but it doesn’t provide the same type of content. Tween girls aren’t looking at content made for them. There’s no flirting or friendship tips for tweens, puberty advice that’s backed by science, or recommendations for books, shows or movies appropriate for their age group. Lalaina Ratsimihah of The Cardinal Chronicle says it best. She writes, “When scrolling through a young girl’s For You page, it becomes clear that TikTok and its creators have an obsession with labels and finding out just what type of girl users are. Whether it is clean girl, coquette, stargirl, or coastal granddaughter (I am still pretty confused about that one), they must be a type of girl, and that type of girl only does certain things and looks a certain way.”

She continues, “There is a sort of pressure that’s put onto these young girls, urging them to find out who they are right away, and that they will be outcasts if they do not. A lot of these videos are flooded with comments from girls saying they wish they were pretty or they wish they had the money to maintain a certain aesthetic and lifestyle. If they do not fit within these aesthetics, they feel that they will be ostracized and deemed not good enough.”

While the 2000s had their cultural archetypes (just think of the scene from Mean Girls where Janice shows Cady all the different cliques at their high school) but unlike TikTok aesthetics, these archetypes were based on cultures that existed IRL and created a community for young girls. While one could argue that these archetypes were rigid, there wasn’t as much social backlash towards girls who wanted to explore other interests because there was no social media, and it wasn't frowned upon for girls to explore interests outside of their archetype. A preppy girl could play soccer, and a cheerleader could listen to Avril Lavigne. Now, a girl can't post anything that's slightly outside the norm without being called “cringe.”

The obsession with aesthetics is only one thing wrong with TikTok, for I could write a dissertation on the very reasons why the app is harmful to young girls, but another one worth mentioning is its effect on mental health. While there is no data dedicated exclusively to tweens (once again proving the erasure of tween culture), one study claims that TikTok markets the romanticization of eating disorders and suicide towards teenage audiences. Others suggest that the use of TikTok increases the likelihood of mental health problems like low self-esteem, negative body image, problems with sleep, anxiety, and depression among teenagers. Since tweens are far more impressionable, the risk is likely higher for their demographic.

Most millennials and young Gen Z’ers remember the toxic diet culture of the 2000s. Many of us have memories of seeing tabloids rip female celebrities to shreds for showing a square inch of fat while wearing a bikini or mocking them for eating carbs. We know how damaging that was to us, and the TikTok generation is likely experiencing what we did, only on steroids.

How Do We Fix This? 

Since tween culture is a result of marketing, it won’t come back until there’s a huge cultural shift. Fortunately, there are ways we can help by encouraging the tweens in our lives to embrace their age. The inconvenient truth is that this cultural shift isn’t the tweens’ fault, but they're the ones suffering because it not only encourages them to want to grow up faster, but they're not embracing the responsibilities of growing up.

Jennifer Powell-Lunder, Psy.D, writes, “Tweens who dress older and seem to act older can sometimes send the message that they can think older. This, however, is far from true. If we want our tweens to act their age, it is up to us to treat them that way. The tween brain cannot truly understand the potential consequences of acting older. Sometimes, precocious behavior can be perceived as provocative. The inclination to dress and even act older is often reinforced because tweens are given extra attention by this behavior. This is especially true for girls. Boys who look older are offered more responsibility, which can lead to higher expectations. When these kids fall short, their behavior can be misinterpreted as being volitional, which is so often not the case. It’s difficult to fault someone for acting his age.”

The best way to help tweens stay tweens is for parents to encourage it, but you don’t have to be a parent to contribute to the solution. If you’re close with a tween girl (whether she’s a niece, family friend, cousin’s daughter, neighbor, etc), you can help. It can be as simple as introducing her to some of the tween media you consumed at her age. TikToks of tween girls fangirling over High School Musical or Justin Bieber prove that tweens still crave this type of media. Introduce her to book series like The Princess Diaries or The Clique and take notes of what she’s interested in before suggesting any more recommendations.

Since the pandemic, many of us have felt alone, and simply listening to tweens can help them. Advocate for them to spend time with their friends outside of school at Starbucks, church youth groups, or encourage them to study at a local library.

These changes are small, but if enough tweens feel empowered to stay tweens, it’s possible that tween culture can make a comeback.