The Real Reasons You Can’t Find A Relationship And How To Fix It

Have relationships gone “out of style”?

By Jenny White3 min read
Pexels/Ekaterina Mitkina

Almost every single man and woman navigating the dating arena right now is confronted with a lot of pushback and avoidance from others in terms of securing a long-term relationship

Instead, they hook up. They share no emotional intimacy outside of sex. They find themselves in situationships. A “fresh, new, and exciting” person is just one swipe away, and others quickly seem to become expendable and, very soon, a distant memory.

As a dating coach, I’ve seen that one of the main problems has to do with accessibility. When so many people seem “accessible” to us at the click of a button, it seems evermore difficult to concentrate and focus on any one single person. People take others for granted. And they will continue to put in far less effort than was required in the past. 

As a woman, it’s a must to become less accessible so that men will put in more effort. Less accessible sexually, emotionally, intimately, and even physically until it’s safe to be accessible and an actual relationship can be had. I’ve been teaching women to do all of these, and they have found great success with men.

The women I assist in dating and relationships have multiple offers for marriage. Multiple. And you can too, in spite of this culture of expendability, when you decide enough is enough and change your entire mindset and approach surrounding dating.

So, what can you do to find a long-term committed relationship? Let’s see… 

This Faux “Abundance” of Choice Renders People Unable To Choose

I realize that many of you feel disheartened in dating right now and believe that the “competition is fierce.” So many other women are showing skin, catering to the pornographic fantasies men seem to harbor for women, and are settling for casual sex and hookups. 

It’s important for you to realize that this “abundance of sexual choices” is fool’s gold at the end of the rainbow. It’s all an illusion. And a very unpromising and nefarious one at that.

You can make any man choose you when you decide that you will no longer tolerate being expendable.

The cultural behaviors that women are engaging in today are what makes men continue to seek out other choices. You can make any man choose you when you decide that you will no longer tolerate being expendable.

Stop agreeing to hookups and vague talking stages. Stop allowing yourself to become subjected to lazy, low-effort behavior from men. And definitely learn to discern and graciously accept when a man is a lost cause and isn’t cut out for a long-term relationship. 

This will save you a lot of time and emotional heartache when it comes to dealing with men. You must have a no-tolerance policy when it comes to engaging in the dismal behavior that is running rampant in our culture. 

Thus, men will have no choice but to take you more seriously among the “abundance” of low-effort choices in women who are getting used and dumped after they have had their fill and quickly lose interest.

Does Our Culture Outright Frown upon Committed Relationships?

On the surface, our culture does seem to disincentivize long-term committed relationships. However, you’ll notice an uptick in men and women lamenting across social media they just want someone to love. You’ve likely found yourself commenting on these posts and wholly identifying with the same. 

They want someone to come home to each day who understands them, spends the holidays with them, and focuses on the everyday joy and fulfillment they seek in great relationships. 

You must understand the cultural warfare all around us is designed to make you lose heart. To make you give up. To make you stop believing in love. Everywhere you look, there are doomsday statistics on blast suggesting 45% of all women by 2030 will be single

The propaganda is moving full steam ahead to discourage and demoralize both men and women from seeking a long-term relationship, though the deep desire within you remains ever-strong and unrelenting. 

If you’re filling yourself with cultural propaganda surrounding this dating hopelessness and malaise, stop consuming it at once.

Start ignoring the culture and concentrate squarely on your own romantic dynamics in your personal interactions with men. If you’re filling yourself with cultural propaganda surrounding this dating hopelessness and malaise, stop consuming it at once.

People find beautiful, lasting, long-term relationships every day. And it starts with revolutionizing our way of thinking and how we approach relationships to get us on that more promising path. 

What You Can Do As a Woman To Fix It

Almost all the work I do as a relationship coach goes against the grain of our culture. Almost entirely. Without some top-down, much-needed cultural change for both men and women, I’ve been instructing singles to take matters into their own hands.

Relationships will always occur on a micro level between two people behind closed doors. The interpersonal dynamics in your relationship are key, above all outside influences. 

So once you can nail down these personal dynamics, in terms of how you carry yourself with men and how to deal with them in every unique situation as it presents itself, you will find the right man for you. Your choices will be many. And men will take you seriously.

The main thing is you have to stop tolerating the bad behavior that is rampant in our culture. The culture may have changed drastically, but human nature hasn’t. People still want love, and human nature doesn’t desire nor value what’s expendable and easily forgettable.

Closing Thoughts

Great, lasting, loving, committed relationships aren’t going away anytime soon. Remember, above all, this is an illusion brought about by a damaged culture that convinces you that you will remain single and childless and you should just throw in the towel and give up. 

A long-term relationship is a human need and pursuit we all desire for ourselves. Always stay along that path and tidy up your approach and your thinking, and you will find great relationship success.

It’s up to us individually. And any woman who decides to overhaul her thinking and approach with men will have any man she wants.

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