I'm Happy Being Single. Is That A Bad Thing?

There’s a lot of pressure to find “the one,” but what if you’re happy with your life as it is?

By Keelia Clarkson3 min read
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As we graduate college and become adults, there are a few things that we’re expected to accomplish during our twenties. Becoming independent, establishing ourselves in our career, and creating a healthy, full life are just a few of these goals. But if we’re honest, the one question everyone always asks whenever we head home for a family gathering is, “So, are you seeing anyone special?”

There’s a lot of pressure to find the right guy, to fall in love, to settle down. Because that’s what the majority of people want for themselves, it’s sort of assumed that any young, single woman must be actively hunting for her future husband. But what if that doesn’t describe where you are in life?

It’s not that you’re against finding a good guy, but at the moment, you’re perfectly content being single – despite the constant barrage of Aren’t you lonely? and It’s okay to admit that you want a boyfriend comments. You’re actually happy being single. But considering everyone else’s hurry to find “the one,” you’ve started wondering: Is it bad that you’re happy being on your own?

You’re Not Required To Want a Relationship

We each desire different things. Some of us can’t wait to become mothers, and others would rather focus solely on our careers. Some of us couldn’t see ever leaving the big city, and others gravitate toward a quiet life on a farm. And some of us deeply desire to find that special someone, while others might be happy on their own for the moment, or even indefinitely.

Contrary to what your nosy aunt says, your well-meaning best friend thinks, or your inner critic wonders, you aren’t required to want a relationship right now, or necessarily at all. While finding a life partner is considered the “norm,” there’s no shame in not feeling the same drive or itch for it as your friends, coworkers, or family members do.

Being Single Gives You the Opportunity To Focus on Yourself

Romantic relationships take work. Cultivating a healthy relationship requires our attention, energy, and devotion, even if it’s the easiest relationship we’ve ever been in. When we forge a deep relationship with someone, we suddenly have more than ourselves to think about. This is a good, beautiful thing, but it can also be detrimental to those who never got the chance to fully focus on themselves.

It feels cliché to say, but that’s because clichés are often true: Allowing yourself to stay single gives you the opportunity to individuate. It affords you the mental and emotional space to figure out who you are and what you want out of life, forces you to find friends you click with, and gives you the freedom to grow into a woman who loves her life, with or without a guy. 

Even for the ladies who do eventually want to find their special someone, intentionally staying single for a while can benefit you in the long run.

It Also Teaches You To Be Self Sufficient

One of the best things about being in a committed relationship is the fact that you have someone you can count on – he’ll always pick up if you call, offer thoughtful advice about a fight you just had with your friend, or help you come up with a good reply to that tricky professional email. However, this can end up holding us back if we never learned how to be self-sufficient in the first place.

Being single means that you really only have yourself to rely on. Friends and family can be counted on to some extent, but not in the same way that a significant other can be. This is daunting, but it’s also a wonderful opportunity to grow more confident in your capabilities and your ability to be on your own, making it so that when or if you get into a relationship, it’s more of a bonus and less of a crutch.

It’s Better To Be Single Than in an Unhealthy Relationship

Few things are as detrimental to our emotional, mental, and physical health as a toxic relationship. Being in a relationship with an unsafe person can contribute to anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts, can affect your self-esteem, and even causes your hormones to get out of whack. Being with the wrong person won’t ever fill the void we’re hoping it will – instead, it will only take away from us.

Being single is much better for your health than getting into a relationship for the sake of not being alone, having a plus one, or getting your friends to stop badgering you – especially if you’re happy being single right now anyway. There’s truly no reason to rush yourself into a relationship. Wait to change your relationship status until you come across a guy who makes you swoon for all the right reasons – his values, humor, intelligence, and vision for life. 

Closing Thoughts

No, you’re not weird for enjoying being single – whether or not you want a relationship in the future. Being single can help you focus intently on yourself and your future, teach you valuable lessons about being on your own, allow you to create a life you’re already happy to live, and benefit your health.

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