#1: Don’t Fret
Girls constantly fret over boys. “He takes forever to text me back.” “He DMs me all the time, but doesn’t ever ask me out.” “We only see each other every few weeks, so I think he’s afraid of commitment.” “Every time we hang out, we hook up. What if that’s all he wants me for?”
Maybe you just want a guy to hang out with occasionally, and that's enough to fulfill your current relationship need. Or maybe you’re only interested in a committed relationship. Whatever you are looking for, remember that you're in complete control of your own relationship. There’s nothing to fret about! If you like a guy, don’t torture yourself playing a waiting game, just text him! Or better yet, call him and have an actual conversation. When his behavior is inconsistent, instead of overthinking his every move, take a deep breath and a step back.
Whatever you are looking for, remember that you're in complete control of your own relationship.
A confident woman guards her heart; only give a man as much effort as he’s giving you. If you’re stressed that he isn’t on the same page, don’t waste time analyzing him or waiting for him to get there, just move on. If a guy will only give you his time if you give him your body, dump him! Dating can be as easy, or as hard, as you make it. Learn when to say “yes,” and when to say “no.” The point is, stop worrying so much about boys. Instead, start putting your head, your heart, your body, and your time to better use. Believe it or not, dating is supposed to be fun!
#2: Make a Good Life First
Here’s the thing: If you’re always worried about men and your past (or current) dating dramas, you’re probably miserable about everything else in your life as well. Conversely, if you were super-happy with most other areas of your life, (like your job, your body, or your money), you wouldn’t be so desperate to find a guy to make you happy.
It sounds cliché, but you need to fall in love with yourself and your own life first. Find a job you really enjoy because we spend too much of our life working to hate what we do. Take more vacations! These are the memories that last forever. Start a new hobby or pick an old one back up. Volunteer and give your time to others, expecting nothing from them in return. Try doing something with love instead of for love because it will make you a better and happier person. Make and keep great friends. So many people enter relationships because they're lonely; we can have a large social circle and still feel lonely if we are surrounded by the wrong people.
#3: Be Brave Enough To Be Alone
It’s important to be comfortable being alone. Go out to eat, take a trip, move to a new city, maybe try something that scares you. You won’t ever know what you’re capable of if you don’t do some things on your own. Just spending a little time alone can nourish your soul. Don’t allow yourself to become so “busy” with distractions or so co-dependent that you never take the time to get to know yourself. It’s impossible to navigate what you truly want if other people are always influencing your decisions. Oprah said it best, “My alone time is when I distance myself from the voices of the world so I can hear my own.”
My alone time is when I distance myself from the voices of the world so I can hear my own.
#4: Everything Doesn’t Have To Be Perfect Right Now
So many of us have accepted the lie, “I’ll be happy when…” When I get the perfect job, the perfect home, the perfect guy… Be happy now! You may be dead and gone before you get the perfect anything. Be patient with yourself and enjoy being in control of your own destiny. Set goals for your life, but don’t waste time always wishing things were “perfect.” Don’t set yourself up for a life of misery because you don’t yet have this thing or that.
#5: Your Self-Worth Is Not Determined by Other People
Sadly, self-worth is something most women struggle with all their lives. Warsan Shire said, “It’s not my responsibility to be beautiful. I’m not alive for that purpose. My existence is not about how desirable you find me." Your self-worth isn’t determined by whether a guy texts you, whether he likes your body, or whether he invests in a relationship with you. Deep down we know this, but over time past wounds can slowly destroy our confidence and steal little pieces of our soul. If you ever find yourself questioning your value, refocus and remember: Your self-worth is determined by you. You don’t have to depend on someone telling you who you are.