As soon as a single woman in 2022 expresses a desire to find a husband, she’s bombarded with the same unsatisfying yet well-meaning suggestion from everyone in her life: “Have you tried a dating app?”
Ever since apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge took over the dating scene in the last few years, it feels as though everyone just relies on an app to do all the work of finding them the perfect match. We sift and swipe through galleries of single guys, hoping our settings and determination will help us finally stumble across the right guy.
While dating apps sound fun to start off with (what with all the possibilities), in all honesty, countless women find themselves tired and disenchanted after just a few months of bad dates, weird guys, and So what do you like to do for fun?’s.
And yet, our desire to find our future husband doesn’t fade, even with all the disappointments of online dating. So if you’re tired of turning to apps in order to find love, here are 10 ways you can find your future husband that don’t involve downloading an app.
1. Change Up Your Routine
We all fall into a day-to-day routine; maybe we stop by a coffee shop before heading to work, and every now and then make a trip to the grocery store, and on the weekends, we might get some lunch with a friend – and just like that, another week is gone.
We won’t know who we’re missing until we change this routine up, as much as we can. Try out a cafe you’ve never been to, make yourself get out of the house when you might’ve stayed home, or change up your normal weekend plans to include stopping by a new bookstore. Keep your eyes out of your phone while out and about. You never know if you'll make eye contact with a handsome stranger on the sidewalk or in line while waiting for your latte.
2. Try Speed Dating
Our idea of speed dating is an off-putting one. We think of a room full of singles desperately trying to muddle their way through stilted conversations until the clock runs out, and then doing it all over again.
But think of speed dating this way: It’s dating in the form of tapas. We go on a myriad of bite-sized dates in one fell swoop, offering us better chances of finding a good match in one night than if we’d gone on proper, full-on dates every weekend for a few months.
3. Sign Up for a Class
Classes aren’t just for little kids, college students, and retirees. Brainstorm some new skills you’d like to pick up or even return to a hobby you once loved as a kid, and sign up for a class that will help get you out of the house.
If we come across a guy who grabs our attention, we at least have something in common.
The best thing about signing up for a class as an adult? Everyone wants to be there. Whether we decide to take a cooking class, try out a painting class, or decide to learn how to play tennis, what we can be sure of is that if we come across a guy who grabs our attention, we at least have something in common.
4. Let Your Friends Set You Up
We all have that friend who keeps insisting on setting us up with her second cousin, promising us he’s sooo cute only to finally agree to go on the date and discover that the only thing we have in common is that we’re both single – or worse, he agreed to go on the date as a “favor” to someone.
But sometimes, our friends really do know someone we’d be a great match with. And we’ve certainly got statistics on our side with this one, considering that 39% of people meet their significant other through mutual friends. So let that one friend who’s been badgering you finally set you up.
5. Go on Solo Outings
We’ve all had girls’ nights out at a bar, with our taken girlfriends agreeing to act as a wingwoman if we happen to spot a guy we like. And sometimes, this tactic works, but not always. It’s no secret that some guys get easily overwhelmed when they see a group of girls out. Even if they find us cute and want to talk to us, he might feel like he’s outnumbered and risks being turned down in front of the entire group.
This is easily solved by going on solo outings. Hang out at a cafe with a book, go to a cool (but safe) bar on your own, or take a stroll through the park all alone. Chances are, guys haven’t approached you before when you’ve been with another friend, so try out a few solo outings.
6. Join a Book Club
Books and romance pair well together! If you love reading and are on the lookout for your future husband, why not accomplish two things at once? Join a local book club where you’ll be able to get together with the same group, discuss, and maybe even get coffee with the cute guy you keep exchanging quick glances with.
7. Smile at People in Public
So much of our lives include running from one thing to the next, looking at the ground as we rush to the finish line of our day – and through it all, we hardly ever acknowledge the people we come across.
Genuinely acknowledging other people and smiling makes you more approachable.
Make a point of smiling at the people you meet, even if they aren’t a potential boyfriend. It’s not about having a smile plastered on your face at all times, but taking the time to look the other person waiting for their coffee in the eye and smiling. This will make us that much more approachable whenever we happen to stumble across a nice-looking guy in public.
8. Volunteer Somewhere
Helping the less-fortunate is good for the soul. Figure out what cause is especially important to you, whether that’s volunteering at a food bank, at an animal shelter, or a senior center. Doing volunteer work you care about will maximize your chances of coming across a guy you have something significant in common with.
9. Join a Small Church Group
If you go to church, there are countless opportunities to meet single guys attending the same church, from bible study groups to small community groups to church-sponsored recreational sports teams. Getting involved at church also means we’ll be associating with guys whose faith aligns with ours, which is a pretty big deal when it comes to finding a life partner.
10. Go on a Vacation with Your Friends
When in doubt, change up your current surroundings and take a fun vacation with a couple of your closest friends. Getting out of your town or city could help you get out of a rut, feel more hopeful, and even come across a guy you wouldn’t have met otherwise – whether on the plane ride over, on the beach where you’re lounging, or at a little cafe. And who knows, maybe he’ll live closer to you than you expected!
It can often feel like dating apps are the only way out of singleness, but meeting your future husband out in the wild is still totally possible, so don’t limit yourself! Change up your routine, go on solo outings, and join groups that will bring guys you have something in common with on your radar.
Love Evie? Let us know what you love and what else you want to see from us in the official Evie reader survey.