Why Mother’s Day Is The Worst Day Of The Year For Millions Of Women

You read that correctly. Mother’s Day is the WORST day of the year for TENS of millions of women around the world.  I’m talking about those in the depths of fertility struggles, which impact 1 out of 6 couples.

I am a Board-Certified OBGYN and Minimally Invasive Surgeon providing comprehensive obstetric and women's health care, specializing in fertility surgery. I’m also a mother of six. Needless to say, I love motherhood and fertility. I help women with natural fertility by restoring health even before they’re ready to try to conceive. I also help couples struggling with infertility, couples who have been failed by the current system.

Let’s start from the beginning, shall we?

Sex Ed Failed Us

Women enter middle school sex ed and are told they could essentially “catch” a pregnancy like a cold. They’re shrouded in fear of an unplanned pregnancy as they face their first periods, which are terrifying enough on their own.

They carry this fear for the rest of their lives. Most have no idea that fertility is much more complex or that they can monitor their body for signs of ovulation, which not only helps identify their fertile window but also predicts their next period (which often starts off irregular). Instead, they believe they’re fertile every single day.

“Pain Is Just Part of Being a Woman”

They push through horrific cycles, abnormal bleeding, and intense PMS, and are told, “suffering is just part of being a woman.” The best solution they’re usually offered? Birth control, so they can function.

It’s sold as a no-lose situation: "You won’t get pregnant, and your pain will be reduced."

Unfortunately, that’s not the whole picture.

Yes, many women gain the ability to function with this medication. But there are downsides. One of the most serious is the delay in diagnosis for conditions like endometriosis, tissue similar to the lining of the uterus that grows outside the uterus. It spreads like a cancer, feeds itself hormones, and causes significant inflammation. For some, it causes pain. For others, infertility. For the most unlucky, both.

What Happens With PCOS

With PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome), women often still gain weight, struggle with insulin resistance, suffer nutrient deficiencies, and face increased risk for long-term medical issues, such as diabetes, endometrial cancer, and cardiovascular disease.

Time is ticking, but they don’t realize that the longer they wait, the harder it becomes to get these issues under control.

The Illusion of “Fine”

The medications make these women feel better. Their cycles seem to regulate. Their symptoms are less intense. So they push through. They focus on their careers. Then, when it’s finally time to settle down, they come off the pill expecting to cough and get pregnant, right?

Cycles come and cycles go. No positive pregnancy test.

“WHAT? I was told this just happens. My body is broken.”

The doctor says, “You have to wait a year before we do anything.” Now, this successful, driven woman feels even more behind.

The IVF Fast Track

She returns to the doctor after a year. She gets a limited workup. Then she’s referred to a Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility physician, an IVF specialist.

They offer IUIs (intrauterine insemination) as a less invasive option, trying to help her reach her goal as quickly as possible, now that she feels like she’s racing against the clock.

Unfortunately, IVF is expensive, not always accessible, and carries a higher risk of pregnancy complications than natural conception.

How Did We Get Here?

We missed so many opportunities.

Starting in middle school, we should have been teaching girls about their cycles, ovulation, and what’s normal versus what’s a red flag. We should have raised awareness of legitimate medical conditions like PCOS and endometriosis, which affect women across their entire lifespan.

What Women Deserve

Women have the right to understand how their bodies function. With this knowledge, they can work with their doctors to identify issues earlier, use medicine to restore fertility and health, and improve quality of life from adolescence through pregnancy, and into menopause.

We don’t need more fear.

We need truth.

And we need to start telling it, early, often, and without shame.

Dr. Naomi Whittaker is a board-certified restorative reproductive medicine physician and surgeon specializing in fertility and has received the Focused Practice Designation in Minimally Invasive Gynecologic Surgery by the American Board of Obstetrics and Gynecology.