Whenever we first start dating someone, every little thing they do is new and interesting to us — there’s so much about this person to discover and understand. To learn more about the guy we’re seeing, we normally focus first on what we might have in common: the bands we listen to, the movies we like, the dishes we crave, or the things that make us laugh.
But there’s more than just likes and dislikes to uncover — his habits, passions, insecurities, and, most importantly, other relationships in his life can tell us a whole host of new information about him. We’ve all heard the idea that any guy who’s rude to a waiter isn’t worth our time — which is totally true. But what about the people who are closer to him, like his family? It turns out, a guy’s relationship with his family says a lot about him.
It Shows His Level of Maturity
A guy’s attitude towards his family gives us an idea of his emotional maturity. Assuming his family isn’t abusive or dangerous to be around, if a guy is dismissive, rude, or uncaring towards his family, this lets us know he’s on the immature side, never having grown out of his rebellious teenager, my-family-doesn’t-get-me phase. While it’s normal to need space from our family in order to mature, neglecting to treat them with basic kindness or express any kind of appreciation for them is childish, and indicates how he might treat us in the future.
It Tells Us If He Understands Boundaries
On the other hand, if a guy is a little too close, or dependent on his family, that can tell of potential issues that may arise. If his mother seems to know every time we have a disagreement with him, or his siblings know intimate details of our relationship, this shows a lack of understanding boundaries and privacy on his part, which is another kind of immaturity. A guy who’s unable to have an argument or difficult discussion without running to his parents will likely end up feeling like a child to us.
It Helps Us Understand His Image of a Family
The family we grow up in affects us far more deeply than we may realize. Much of what we consider to be our personality is actually learned habits based on the environment we were raised in. This means that a guy’s upbringing will ultimately influence his idea of what a family is at its core — how they interact, show love, and disagree with each other — and whether or not he’ll want one of his own one day.
It Hints at What Kind of Partner in Parenting He’ll Be
While this isn’t always a good thing, the very first image of a partnership we get is from our parents. We watch our parents interact and come to an understanding of what it means to be life partners. If a guy is close with his family, or even just his parents, and looks up to them, chances are he’ll want to emulate their relationship to an extent. If his parents have a healthy marriage, this is great news. But if they struggle with communication issues or with having healthy reactions to conflict, he might end up bringing some of the same issues with him into your relationship.
A guy’s relationship with his family is incredibly important to pay attention to. It lets us know of any red flags or potential issues that could come up, while giving us a better understanding of his deeper self, beyond his basic interests.