The TikTok "Vanilla Wife" Is The Most Embarrassing Trend So Far, And It’s A Result Of Habitually Oversharing And Insecurity

What is the “vanilla wife” trend that everyone is talking about on Twitter and TikTok? If you haven’t heard about it, allow me to fill you in on this awkward and telling discourse.

By Nicole Dominique2 min read
Vanilla Wife

*This article is intended for readers 18 and older.*

To put it simply, the "vanilla wife" trend on TikTok is that of ladies addressing their now-married exes (and their wives) in a really distasteful manner, all in the same format. One said, "I won't be the one you marry, I'll be the one running through your mind while you're f*ckin your vanilla wife." 

And, in a similar fashion, someone posted: "May not be the girl you end up with but you'll probably think of me when you f@ck your vanilla wife."

Others were more profane and oddly detailed. A lady wrote, "I may not be the one you chose to wife up BUT Ill be the one 10 years from now you will still be thinking about as you live your boring life and go home to climb ontop of your vanilla wife while she lays there silently looking like a starfish to roll over on your separate sides of the bed to wake up and live ground hogs day all over again the next day." Umm, excuse me? Because thinking about your ex having sex with his wife and then admitting it on TikTok is totally normal behavior.

Here’s another one: "I may not be the woman you marry but I'll be the one you think about while you're having silent dinner with your boring Wife before she lays flat on her back like a starfish for the entire 2 minutes before you go to sleep facing opposite directions." Babes, he chose her, not you.

Let's Stop Demonizing "Vanilla Sex" 

I find it odd that some people are demonizing conventional sex – also known as vanilla sex – only because it doesn’t contain elements of BDSM or violence. I honestly don't even like to use that term, because sex is just sex, no need to add "vanilla" in front of it. And while there’s absolutely nothing wrong with having kinks, I do believe that porn has influenced many people to think that the act of love-making needs to mirror some fantasy scene straight out of Fifty Shades of Grey. We need to let go of the notion that regular sex is “bad” or “boring,” because it’s simply not true. You can have phenomenal sex with the one you love and trust, without the use of paraphernalia or whatever else. 

The Byproduct of Oversharing

Lastly, this trend is interesting because you see people all the time saying that sex is just “a physical act.” Yet, here we have users online putting their self-worth in sex, unironically objectifying themselves in the process. It's insinuating that their value is reduced to what they do in the privacy of their bedroom.

But the most embarrassing part of this trend is the lack of shame, the proud broadcasting of delusions and insanely private thoughts. Believe it or not, I don’t fault these women completely. They’re only doing what’s normal these days, that is, oversharing. It's become a regular act to detail your thoughts and ideas to the world. Most individuals automatically grab for their phones, ready to share their deepest, darkest secrets for likes and comments from strangers. Of course, this has consequences – the women who partook in this trend, for example, subjected themselves to mass ridicule and duets from other girls who condemned their behavior. Hence, why I propose that we all just go back to writing in our diaries again. 

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