This Viral Image Is Sparking a Heated Debate About What Women Really Want

British singer Olly Murs posted two images of himself: one from earlier in the year, where he looks fit, healthy, and undeniably attractive, and a second, more recent shot where he’s noticeably leaner, more defined, and, frankly, ripped.

On their own, the photos might not seem that remarkable. Fitness transformations are social media currency these days. But when the images started circulating on X, they touched a surprising nerve, and suddenly, a full-blown gender debate broke out.

Poll after poll popped up asking women which version of Olly they preferred: the before (softer, broader, more relaxed) or the after (chiseled, sharper, more intense)? The result? Women overwhelmingly chose the first picture. And some men did not take it well.

Why Men Are Surprised

To many men, the results felt confusing. They assumed that being more shredded would automatically be more attractive. That visible abs, razor-sharp jawlines, and peeled muscle definition were the ultimate trump cards.

And to be fair, in male culture, extreme leanness is heavily associated with discipline, strength, and status. A man who can achieve that level of conditioning is seen as someone who has mastered his urges, dedicated himself to a goal, and conquered his body. It's an impressive feat, and men naturally assume women admire that same dedication. But women aren't looking at these images through the same lens.

Where men see discipline and strength, many women see something else creeping in: vanity.
And not just vanity but obsession. An overly serious, overly curated vibe that subtly signals: I might be more in love with my own reflection than with you.

But before we get too deep, it’s worth acknowledging something simple: the pictures themselves are styled very differently. In the "after" photo, Olly’s lighting is harsher, his tan is deeper, his short length is questionable, and the overall presentation feels more self-conscious.

Meanwhile, in the "before" shot, he looks more casual, more relaxed, more like a guy you'd run into on the beach instead of someone stepping onto a bodybuilding stage. All of that matters, too. Style, lighting, and body language can completely change the energy someone gives off. And while the hardcore fitness crowd might focus purely on the body fat percentage, most women are absorbing the total aesthetic experience and reacting accordingly.

At the end of the day, attraction isn't just a math problem about muscle definition. It's about the feeling someone gives you. And that feeling was noticeably different between the two photos.

The Face Still Matters

Another angle that's getting overlooked in the chaos? His face simply looks better in the “before” photo. It’s not just about abs versus no abs, it's about the whole package.

Some manosphere commentators, like Rollo Tomassi, tried to dunk on women by posting a picture of a fit guy next to streamer Destiny (who is not exactly a male beauty standard) and writing, "According to Twitter-Mids the guy on the right is more f***able than the guy on the left."

But this misses the real point: women aren't rejecting muscles or fitness. They’re rejecting a look that feels less attractive overall. If you put a good-looking, fit guy next to Destiny, obviously the fit guy wins.
Girls are still girls. They still like strong arms and handsome faces.

But when a guy's body starts looking more high-maintenance than approachable or leans into a West Hollywood vibe that feels self-obsessed, it creates hesitation. Women aren't immune to status symbols like fitness or appearance, but they’re usually filtering it through a different lens than men are.

However, it's worth noting that when people pulled up other side-by-sides of Murs, a more nuanced pattern appeared. In those comparisons, when Olly’s face looked fresher, fuller, and more approachable, even while he was fitter and leaner, women consistently chose the fit, handsome version.

They weren’t stubbornly clinging to a “thicker” or “softer” body type, no matter what. They were responding to the total aesthetic: the strength of his body plus the warmth of his face.

In the viral photo that started the debate, part of the problem was that the "after" image didn’t just show a leaner body, it showed a harsher, more gaunt, and less inviting face. Once a man's face starts looking drawn, depleted, or stressed, no amount of shredded abs can fully compensate for the shift in overall energy.

At a certain point, leanness stops signaling health and starts signaling fragility or self-obsession, not exactly the markers most women are looking for.

The real takeaway? Women are still choosing fitness. They’re just not choosing it at the cost of youthfulness and warmth.

The Female Gaze: Less Wolverine, More Henry Cavill

There’s also a bigger underlying truth that the Olly Murs debate exposed: The female gaze is simply different from the male gaze.

Where male culture often idealizes hyper-ripped figures. Think Wolverine in X-Men, veins popping, muscles straining, the female gaze leans a little softer, a little more inviting. If women had to pick a male body ideal, it wouldn’t necessarily be peak bodybuilder. It would be something closer to Henry Cavill: Strength without so much severity. Power without peacocking.

Women are typically drawn to masculinity that feels natural and secure, not desperate for validation or locked in a mirror war with itself. They want a man who looks like he can protect and provide, but who isn’t so performative.

The First Picture Still Signals Strength

Another important nuance that’s getting lost in the conversation is this: The “before” photo clearly shows discipline, too. Olly still looks fit, strong, healthy, and masculine. There’s nothing about him that signals laziness, weakness, or a lack of self-respect.

It’s not a choice between "ripped" and "flabby." Most women still want men who look strong, but once the look starts to severe, the attraction starts to dim.

The Kate Upton Principle

Some commentators compared the Olly Murs situation to an old debate on the women’s side:
If you put a very thin Victoria’s Secret model next to someone like Kate Upton, a woman with a curvier figure, many men choose Kate. Why?

Because, just like women value approachable masculinity, men often value approachable femininity.
In both cases, there's an unconscious preference for a body that feels natural. Hyper-curated bodies (whether male or female) suggest high maintenance, self-absorption, or even insecurity about appearance. By contrast, slightly softer, more natural bodies suggest more ease.

In other words, People want to be with someone who looks like they’re living a good life, not just slaving away in the gym.

Fitness Is Still Attractive

Of course, none of this is an argument for letting yourself go or rejecting fitness altogether.
It’s not about celebrating “mediocrity” (as some frustrated men accused) or pretending physical health doesn't matter.

Fitness absolutely matters, but when it comes to attraction, it’s part of a bigger, more holistic picture.
Most women still want men who are strong, energetic, and capable. They still want men who can lift heavy things, chase after toddlers, or toss them over their shoulders during a playful moment.
But they also want men who are present, fun, and balanced, not so consumed by their six-pack that they miss out on what makes life worth living.

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