High spirits are hard to hang on to, especially in a world where the mundane seems to take priority and stress leads our lives. But what if we told you that the key to changing that was to just…be happier? Too easy? Well, not exactly.
The Negativity Spiral
Have you ever been a part of a conversation among co-workers that are talking down on a fellow colleague? Chances are you have. Chances are you’ve followed up that conversation with feelings of distrust – what do they say when I’m not around? Now, have you ever been the instigator or entertainer of such conversations?
It’s easy to say no, but we’ve all had moments where the negativity seems to slip through our teeth with ease. Your boss isn’t listening to you, the weather has been too cold lately, your husband is driving you up a wall – there’s something every day that brings our optimistic spirits to a halt. In an effort to be heard and understood, we voice these thoughts to others and, in the unfortunate process, drag them into the spiral of pessimism.
Ending the Blame Game
I used to be called a “toxic optimist” by family and friends. I found it impossible to see wrong, to see people for anything other than good. Some would call it naivete, some stupidity – I called it happiness. And I lost it somewhere along the lines two years ago among break-ups and job changes and stressful family situations. I started to find negativity in everything, letting every emotion that filled me be some level of anger or resentment. What I realized I’d fallen trap to more than anything, though, was the blame game. I blamed everyone and everything else for how I was feeling. It was never my fault, and that’s a good feeling, but only for a short while.
It’s rare we find someone who truly sheds light and an air of kindness and trust anymore.
There isn’t always someone to blame. You’ve lost passion in one of your favorite hobbies? Frustrating? Yeah. Your fault? Probably more so than somebody else’s. It’s far too easy to get wrapped up in passing your unhappiness onto someone else, whether that’s blaming them for it or dragging them into your pit of despair so you don’t have to handle the unhappy alone.
Speak Only the Good
So what would the opposite of this be, then? How would you go about fixing the cycle of negativity? Well, be happy, stay positive, be the change you wish to see. It’s true! It may be simple, but it is true.
Negativity is rampant. It’s rare we find someone who truly sheds light and an air of kindness and trust anymore. So why wouldn’t we strive to be that for others and, in turn, feel better about ourselves? They say kindness costs nothing, and this is true, but it can definitely reap some benefits.
When we surround ourselves with those who keep a positive outlook on life, we surround ourselves with an instant mood boost, an instant bond of trust. After all, if they've nothing negative to say about others around you, why would they be saying something negative about you? Creating a safe space for others creates a safe space for yourself. Opposites attract isn’t always true, but misery does tend to keep company. If we carry ourselves in a positive manner, it’s likely positive people will be attracted to that presence, and a new cycle begins.
Relationships are built on trust, but how exactly do we build trust? Speaking kindness and truth. More so, the truth that benefits more than ourselves. Sometimes holding your tongue can speak the loudest. So, the next time your co-worker is getting on your last nerve or your husband is being a little more annoying than usual, remember that they need kindness too. Be patient, be kind, and good things will come to you right when you need them.
So yeah, though it might sound silly and cliché – be the good you want to see! Trust me, you’ll see it.
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