My husband does a lot of things I think are sexy. Like coming home from the gym all buffed out, fixing stuff around the house, or growing out his beard. But in the last year, I discovered something he’s been doing that’s even hotter.
He refuses to wear a mask. Yeah, I know, this seems silly and petty. But hear me out. My husband and I live in LA, which means we’ve been living under a mask mandate for seven months now (we got a few weeks respite in July of 2021). And since basically the end of 2020, when people really started getting anal about masks, my husband has been refusing to wear one.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ll go maskless anywhere I can get away with it. But as a woman, I don’t like getting into confrontations with people about putting on a mask. When I go out alone, I try to stick to businesses I know won’t bother me about it. But when I go out with my husband, it’s a different story.
Unlike me, my husband is not afraid to defend us against some busybody who’s obsessed with masks. It's not just that we find them annoying, we truly believe that wearing masks is unhealthy for your body and for how you interact with other people.
The Lockdowns Made People Mean
No one can have failed to notice how much interpersonal relations have deteriorated since the lockdowns started. I have never been treated so rudely by businesses until the lockdown rules started. We've witnessed some truly terrible acts in the name of "enforcing the rules," like the time we witnessed a self-important Gen Z grocery store employee berating a frail, elderly woman for trying to enter the store at the wrong door.
The poor woman would have had to get back in her car and drive around to the other side of the shopping center, but this employee didn't care. There was no empathy or concern for an elderly citizen, just righteous enforcement of these arbitrary rules.
My husband was not standing for it. He confronted the employee and demanded that he let the old woman inside. After all, this was exactly the type of person we were supposed to be protecting with these so-called safety measures. Finally, he managed to get the employee so upset that they moved out of the doorway and I helped the old woman inside.
The lockdowns have put us in all sorts of terrible situations like this. My husband is very intent on doing what's right, and he doesn't care about starting a scene if it means pointing out how absurd covid rules are or helping someone who actually deserves it, like the sweet old lady at the store.
We always talk about wanting to find a masculine man, but let me tell you: there's nothing sexier than a guy who actually stands up against these petty or even cruel rules.
Triumph over Umbridge
We had one lady, a manager at the grocery store near our house, whom we nicknamed Umbridge (after the Harry Potter character) for her rotund figure and habit of following us around the store harassing us for not wearing masks.
We know that most of the other staff agrees with us, having had several candid conversations with different checkers or the sweet lady who works at the Starbucks stand. But this one employee just wouldn’t get off our case.
My husband and I were standing in the line to check out, and he was holding our basket. It was pretty full, so he was holding it from the bottom with both hands. He was wearing a bandana rather than a mask but had pulled it down around his neck. Of course, Umbridge spotted us from across the store and trundled over to lecture us. This exchange still has me giggling, and yes, it got him laid that night for sheer cleverness.
Umbridge: “Sir, you need to put on your mask.”
Husband: “I can’t, I’m holding my basket.”
Umbridge: “Then set down the basket so you can pull up your mask.”
Husband: “I can’t do that! The floor isn’t sanitary!”
I thought her brain might explode when he whipped that line out. After all, wasn’t the point of all these absurd regulations to keep people “clean”? This lady was definitely someone who disinfected every grocery item when she got home from the store. For her to suggest he put his food on the ground, which is unsanitary even in non-Covid times, obviously put her in a logical loop she couldn’t escape. Umbridge didn’t bother us again after that, although she does continue to give us the evil eye from her little station at the front of the store.
I’m not sure I could respect a man who does things just to stay with the status quo, rather than doing what he knows is right.
Hot Husbands Hate Masks
I'm not the only one getting googly-eyed over a husband who's not afraid to stand up for what he believes. My good friend is like me, hates masking but is torn between freedom and hating confrontation. But her husband, a burly, football-obsessed lawyer who looks like Don Draper’s younger brother, also refuses to wear a mask. When we went over to their place for her husband’s 30th birthday party, he and his dad regaled us with their triumph over the little tyrants who tried to prevent them from getting kegs for the party. We’ll call her husband Don for the sake of this story.
Don and his dad had gone to the store to pick up the kegs for his birthday party, and he brought their 18-month-old with them. Don walked in holding their son, and not wearing a mask because (not surprisingly) his son pulls off anything he has on his face. Don’s dad, who lives in Orange County where masks are laughed at, was also not wearing a mask.
Now, an employee rushed over to insist they (including the baby) must put on masks or they can’t be served. Don, who was trying his best to wrangle an impatient toddler, was not impressed by the employee. In Don’s words, the man "gets on a little miniature high horse” and refused to discuss their order until they put masks on. Don explained that they just needed the kegs and they’d be out of his way.
The employee then forces them all to go outside before he will discuss their order. Once they got Don and his dad outside, the employee insisted smugly there was no record of their order and they would just have to leave empty-handed.
Don was now really pissed. He had a fussy toddler to manage and a wife at home trying to set up for the party on her own. He pulled out his phone and showed his email confirmation, which the employee was visibly disappointed to see. Finally, the employees brought out the kegs, making no attempt to help Don load them in his car.
Before the guy disappeared back into the store, Don told him, “Oh, don’t worry about offering to help me get these to the car. I wouldn’t expect customer service here based on what I’ve seen.”
Obviously, the party went off without a hitch. But we did get a good laugh at Don’s story. And I’d like to say a kindly screw off to the loser employee who yelled at a dad and his toddler to put on a mask.
Okay, But Why Is It So Hot?!
Doing something as petty as refusing not to wear a mask shouldn’t be that hot, but it is. My husband and I got engaged about six months before the lockdowns started, so I already knew he had some first-rate marriage-level qualities. But seeing how he deals with Covid busybodies has just cemented my belief that he is basically a modern-day Spartan warrior (at least, to me).
The fact my husband will defend me against a mask Karen shows he will protect me from pretty much anything.
Wanting to walk around without having something obscuring your ability to breathe isn’t radical, it’s normal. I’m not sure I could respect a man, let alone be married to one, who does things just to stay with the status quo, rather than doing what he knows is right. We know these mask rules are arbitrary and definitely infringe upon our civil liberties (where are the lawsuits?!).
After all, if your husband won't defend you against a mask Karen, how could you think he would protect you from anything else more dangerous? I know my husband has always been chivalrous, making sure I walk on the inside of the sidewalk, but this takes it to a whole new level. I would never ask him to start an argument with someone, but the fact that he respects himself and me enough to defend us is incredibly sexy.
So shoutout to all the manly husbands out there, who refuse to wear masks and are reminding their wives every day that they will protect and defend us. We love to see it.
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