Leftism Was A Safe Space For My Degeneracy

My highest calling was happiness, which at the time meant the pursuit of materialistic goods such as high-paying jobs, travel, boozy brunches, and engaging in indulgent behaviors that served me and me alone. Sleeping around and binge drinking my way through life were normal and common behaviors, not just for me, but for my friends as well. The behavior was encouraged through the woke, feminist narratives pushed such as "children and marriage are prisons" and "men sleep around, why can't we?"

I fell into the leftist ideology by proximity, living in a leftist city surrounded by young, woke Brooklynites. As someone who was already indulging in many forms of vice, I immediately felt not only at home in the leftist social space, but encouraged to expand my degenerate behavior to new places. I fell victim to social pressures and believed the established idea that I needed to experiment in order to find what was best for me. It became a chicken or the egg question: which came first, the degenerate or the leftist? It seemed like the two went hand in hand, one often spawning from the other.

The seed of degeneracy I had planted was dutifully watered and cared for by those around me. Going out all night drinking, swiping on Tinder, and one-night stands were the expected items on a typical weekend agenda. Blowing all my cash on drugs and alcohol and overpriced meals and trips I couldn't afford wasn't "bad spending," it was "self-care." And since I was a god, I deserved it. Entitlement came before sacrifice every time. In a world surrounded by people whose ideology was rooted in hedonistic pursuits, there was a complete lack of the only emotion that could ultimately curb destructive impulses: shame.

In a world surrounded by people whose ideology was rooted in hedonistic pursuits, there was a complete lack of the only emotion that could ultimately curb destructive impulses: shame.

Healthy shame once acted as a social mechanism that discouraged destruction by encouraging self-restraint. Shame is an emotion that, when utilized properly, can guide an individual towards virtue. When enough people are guided towards virtue, a virtuous society can exist. Though, in the leftist world, shame equates to oppression. This idea has been pushed through the self-serving ideology and the pervasiveness of therapy culture.

The language of morality has been replaced by the language of therapy: sin is now seen as a trauma response, self-denial is framed as repression. As someone who came from a childhood filled with trauma, the left's abandonment of accountability and embracement of its endless validation was more than welcoming. Criticism of self-destructive behavior was treated as judgment rather than a loving correction.

The left exchanges shame for pride; the ultimate celebration of the self and one's identity. Promiscuous behavior is rebranded as empowerment. There is no clearer example of this than the proliferation of OnlyFans and the propaganda used to tell young women that selling their bodies is not only okay, but feminist. This perversion of sex makes sense within an ideology that exalts sexual identity over all other, more enduring identities. To them, identity isn't about being a mother or a Christian or anything that requires sacrifice. Instead, identity becomes a performance of self-ascribed labels.

A central theme of leftist social ideology is "to each their own." The individual is the highest authority. One's own self gets to determine what is ultimately good and ultimately bad. Though morality is subjective in their worldview, there is dogma that one must subscribe to in order to be considered "woke." This includes not only the acceptance of one's sexuality, but the mandatory celebration of it. As a leftist, you don't discover your identity in motherhood or religion, you create it through self-identification of gender or sexuality. The celebration of one's chosen identity creates little to no room for an identity based in something objective and transcendent of the self.

The language of morality has been replaced by the language of therapy: sin is now seen as a trauma response, self-denial is framed as repression.

Political causes maintain this level of indulgence on the left; abortion on demand offers promiscuity with no consequence or sacrifice. It frees women from their highest calling: motherhood. Abortion further perverts sex into something that is recreational instead of bonding and sacred. Feminism removes duty from women and replaces it with materialistic pursuits such as careers and ultimately "stuff." The idealism of the "girl boss" forces women to work against their biological nature in exchange for material goods.

The movement's ultimate goal seems to be to remove any sort of purpose from pleasure; feeling good is a noble enough end. Family is removed from sex, money is removed from stewardship. There exists no obligation to a family or community at large, and especially not to God. Political movements within the woke left are often nothing more than moral grandstanding, and often contradict the materialistic lifestyle that is touted. This sort of cognitive dissonance creates more of a need to pursue pleasure, and thus the cycle repeats itself.

As age and Catholicism moved me towards conservative values and politics, I realized the importance of accountability, not just to myself, but to things outside of myself. I found a greater purpose in serving God, my family, and others. I dropped the blame game and embraced self-reflection. I stopped asking what made me the most happy but instead what were my duties to myself, my family, and society at large. I realized marriage and children aren't restrictions, but instead structures that guide one and society towards virtue. True fulfillment and happiness came when I stopped pursuing happiness as the ultimate end and instead embraced duty, discipline, and obedience to the true God, not the one I had made of myself.