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Khloe Kardashian Says She Still Struggles To Connect With Her Son Who Was Born Via Surrogate: "We Still Don't Have A Complete Bond"

The most recent episode of "The Kardashians" revealed that it has taken months for Khloe Kardashian to connect with her son Tatum, and she still feels like they aren't completely bonded.

By Gina Florio3 min read
khloe son
Instagram/@khloekardashian

The Kardashians are the most talked about family in the world, and their reality TV show always promises new dramas for fans to sink their teeth into. Every once in a while, they share details about their personal life that make headline news, usually because they have done something outrageous (like Kim Kardashian rapidly losing weight to fit into a historical Marilyn Monroe dress for the Met Gala). But this time, it's because Khloe Kardashian has been candid about the struggles she is facing with her son, Tatum. He was born via surrogate, unlike her daughter True, who Kardashian gave birth to herself. In a couple of recent episodes, Khloe has confided to her family on camera that she feels disconnected from him, and this has been weighing on her recently.

Khloe Kardashian Says She Still Struggles To Connect with Her Son Who Was Born via Surrogate

In the latest episode of Hulu's The Kardashians, Khloe Kardashian admitted that her relationship with Tatum has been very different than her experience with True. "The connection... took days with True. With [Tatum], it's taking months, and we still don't have a complete bond." She also admits that she feels guilt about this, and she wonders why things haven't been the same with her son.

"I don’t treat him differently, just question myself sometimes," Kardashian says.

Kris Jenner tells her daughter that she is the "most attentive person" out of the whole Kardashian-Jenner clan, and she considers Kardashian to be "mother of the year." Kardashian says she wrestles with being too hard on herself.

"I’m very kind to everyone else, I'm just not very kind to myself. But being a mom is truly one of the most magical experiences ever," she says.

This isn't the first time that Kardashian has opened up about these struggles. In the first episode of season three of The Kardashians, she first talked about this disconnect she was feeling. Born in July 2022, Tatum's arrival via a surrogate mother, an option chosen by Kardashian and her ex Tristan Thompson, was described as a "transactional experience" by the 38-year-old reality TV star. Khloe confessed that the reality of becoming a mother again did not sink in until she reached the hospital, highlighting the stark difference in her emotional journey compared to a traditional pregnancy.

Her sister Kim, who carried her first two children and opted for surrogacy with her last two children, expressed a similar sentiment. Kim asserted that the physical bond formed during a conventional pregnancy could potentially impact the emotional bond post-birth. She explained, "I do think there is a difference when the baby is in your belly; the baby actually feels your real heart."

Khloe's candid conversation about her surrogacy experience underscores a gap in public understanding of the practice. With the global surrogacy industry reaching an estimated $14 billion in 2022 and projected to rise to $129 billion within the next decade, the need for honest dialogue is more crucial than ever. Many different types of parents are choosing surrogacy now, including gay couples, infertile couples, single parents, etc. Yet, the industry's functioning and profitability raise serious ethical questions. As of 2021, it's estimated that around 5,000 children are born via surrogacy each year in the U.S., although accurate statistics are challenging to gather due to varying state laws and reporting practices. Surrogacy agencies have flourished in response to this demand, transforming what was once an intimate agreement into a billion-dollar industry.

A surrogate's compensation is a complex mix of medical costs, legal fees, and personal expenses, in addition to a base pay for the surrogate mother. This base pay typically ranges between $30,000 and $40,000 in the U.S., though it can significantly vary depending on geographic location, experience, and whether the surrogate is carrying multiples. Furthermore, there is also compensation for the physical and emotional commitment, ranging from invasive medical procedures to potential health risks.

While these sums may seem substantial, it is essential to consider that the overall cost of surrogacy for intended parents often surpasses $100,000. These expenses include fertility treatments, embryo creation, legal services, agency fees, and hospital charges. The discrepancy between what a surrogate is paid and the overall cost of the surrogacy process illuminates the considerable profits that agencies and other involved parties often secure.

In spite of its growing popularity among celebrities like Amber Heard, Priyanka Chopra, Tyra Banks, and Paris Hilton, surrogacy is not always presented with its inherent complexities. The emotional and physical demands for the surrogate mother, often resulting in inadequate compensation relative to these sacrifices, deepen the class divides and risk commoditizing the sacred process of bringing life into the world.

Khloe Kardashian's confessions prove that we need a shift in how surrogacy is perceived and discussed. Rather than a mere transactional process, surrogacy is an intricate journey intertwined with emotional and physical challenges, highlighting the essential human connection and responsibility involved. The needs of children need to be considered first and foremost, but sadly, it seems as though adults are the only ones whose needs are being met.

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