Relationships

It’s Time To Reevaluate Our Dating Checklist

By Keelia Clarkson
·  5 min read
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Are you dating him because you actually like him, or because he’s six-foot-two and has blue eyes?

Meeting a new beau isn’t totally dissimilar to buying a new house or car — we walk in with a checklist of “must-haves” and want to ensure he possesses at least most of them before committing to moving forward with the relationship; we essentially walk in with a dating checklist.

Everyone’s dating checklist will vary a bit, and there’s a good chance there are parts of our list we hold onto more tightly than others. It might be important to us that we date a guy of the same religious belief, or a guy who wants children, or a guy who can make us laugh. 

It’s no secret that we do this to make sure we aren’t wasting our time with a man we have no future with. But it’s safe to say that sometimes, we get so carried away with dating or not dating a guy based on how many or which specific checklist items he fulfills that we’re actually keeping ourselves from finding the right guy for us – especially because, sometimes, our checklist isn’t even focused on the right things.

That being said, we definitely shouldn’t throw away our list altogether. But maybe we ought to reevaluate it; instead, thinking of it as a values checklist, focusing not simply on superficial things like height or car model or family name, but on qualities that will actually make a difference in the long run. This just makes it a bonus that he’s tall, dark, and handsome (or whatever you fancy) rather than the sole reason we looked his way.

So what should be on our values checklist?

He’s Kind To Everyone He Meets

Kindness isn’t just about being sweet and gentle, and it’s certainly not about being a doormat. It’s about being confident enough in ourselves that we don’t need to prove anything to anyone by being unkind. This is what makes a man who’s kind to everyone he comes across, even those whom he’ll never see again or technically could talk down to, the sort of guy who deserves our full attention.

He Cares About Being a Good Father

For a woman who wants to have children, nothing will give us the ick like a guy who doesn’t think twice about what kind of father he’ll be and how he plans to raise his children. Perhaps at the very top of our values list should be a man who cares about his future children enough to work on himself before having kids and actively assesses how he can prepare to be a good father.

He cares about his future children enough to work on himself before having kids. 

He’s Good with Money

However much money he makes shouldn’t be as much of a concern as how he handles the money he does have. Even if he pulled in a hefty paycheck every month, would that matter if he was constantly blowing his savings on useless gadgets and fancy dinners? A man who’s good with money – a man who saves and wisely invests money – is one to keep an eye out for.

He Cares About His Body

We women know how painful body standards can be, so we should understand that not every guy can or will look like Captain America. But the way he treats his body says a lot about who he is, making this an important point on our values checklist. A guy who regularly exercises and attempts to eat well will always win over a guy who can’t ever be bothered to hit the gym.

He Has a “Why”

Nothing is more attractive than a guy who’s living for something, not afraid to work hard, and who has a “why” for getting out of bed in the morning. It’s far more attractive than one who’s unfocused, not driven, or just handed everything his entire life. A guy who sees the value in living with a purpose will inspire us to live the same way and cheer us on as we pursue our “why.”

A guy who sees the value in living with a purpose will inspire us to live the same way.

He’s Not Afraid of Tough Decisions

Life is undeniably full of challenging decisions to make, choices to wrestle with. Looking for a guy who doesn’t run away from making decisions, but instead embraces them and takes charge of his life is essential in having a well-rounded values checklist. A guy who does this will prove to be a far better partner than one who has got all the right looks but lacks courage.

He Disagrees with Others, but He’s Always Respectful

It seems these days there’s always something being said that we disagree with – it comes along with the reality of being anywhere online (or even just in existence). A guy who doesn’t follow the crowd and actually thinks for himself is incredibly attractive, but what’s even more attractive is a guy who’s always respectful towards those he disagrees with, even if he’s not getting it in return.

Closing Thoughts

Of course, physical attraction is important in dating, but it too often takes precedence when we’re going down our checklist. It’s essential in picking the right guy that we take much more into account than his baby blues.

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