It's Narcissistic And Unrealistic To Demand That Every Woman In Every Advertisement Should Look Just Like Us

Hollywood has bent over backwards over the last few years to include more diversity in their films and TV shows. That diversity has been achieved by hiring many more actors of different races and ethnicities, and even placing actors of color in roles that were meant for white characters. The hit Netflix show Bridgerton and Amazon's The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power were great examples of how stories are rewritten in order to include more people of color. This obsession with diversity has trickled into the world of advertisements and media as well. Pretty much every ad campaign for a new fashion line or beauty product launch features women of diverse skin colors and sizes. Kim Kardashian's shapewear line Skims, for example, is a household name that has been putting much time, energy, and money into diversifying their ad campaigns and promotional images. In fact, at this point, any brand that doesn't include a wide variety of races is immediately attacked and boycotted.

While there's certainly nothing wrong with seeing different kinds of women in advertisements than we've seen before, our culture has taken its desire for inclusivity to a whole new level. Every single ad and respective company is placed under intense scrutiny for not living up to the ever-changing intersectional goalposts. Consumers are more demanding than ever to see women that perfectly represent them at every turn, regardless of whether they plan to actually buy the products or not (and let's face it, most of the women who are complaining about visibility aren't actually interested in the products). This is just another symptom of the growing narcissism and self-obsession that has permeated our culture, especially amongst women.

Our culture has taken its desire for inclusivity to a whole new level.

It's Narcissistic to Demand Every Single Woman in Ads Looks Just Like Us

Mainstream culture teaches women to focus on themselves and put themselves first no matter what. Self-love is the hot topic that has sold millions of self-help books and garnered hundreds of millions of clicks and views. We're constantly told that the remedy to our worries is to just focus on ourselves more, to love ourselves more, to invest in ourselves more. It's no coincidence that at the same time, rates of anxiety and depression are higher than ever for women, especially young, single females.

The hype around self-love and self-acceptance has become so heightened that we aren't even allowed to question it. As soon as anyone poses the question of whether women should take action to improve their health, their habits, and their life in general, it's met with staunch backlash and accusations of internalized misogyny and a love for the patriarchy. You're not allowed to question the narrative. You're supposed to just accept that women are happiest when they're focusing primarily on themselves.

This obsession with the self has resulted in millions of women demanding that the world cater to them.

This obsession with the self has resulted in millions of women demanding that the world cater to them, much like Demi Lovato bullying a local frozen yogurt shop because they dared to sell sugar-free cookies, which apparently triggered her past experience with an eating disorder. Women now look at advertisements not as what they were originally meant to be—aesthetically pleasing visuals to aid in the promotion and sale of a company's products—but rather as content that is meant to represent them and validate their existence in the world.

It's not hyperbolic to say that many women in our society today are dealing with a kind of narcissism that stunts them from experiencing things realistically. While it's perfectly fine to request more diversity, whether it's in body type or ethnicity, it's entirely selfish to demand that every ad should feature someone who looks like you. And when you see an ad that doesn't fulfill your demands, it's toxic to attack—or worse, attempt to bully or boycott—the brand that doesn't live up to your delicate expectations. This reaction doesn't only bring unnecessary contention between the consumer and the retailer; it leaves women unhappy and unfulfilled at the end of the day, because there's nothing good that comes out of outrage over the fact that the model you're looking at on Instagram isn't dark-skinned or curvy enough for your taste.

Why do we feel like we should be represented more than someone else?

Besides, why do we feel like our body type, face shape, and skin color should be represented more than someone else's? Why have we been made to believe that we are more important than another women, whether she's white, Guatemalan, disabled, tall, skinny, or blonde? Perhaps this whole self-love culture isn't working out so great for women after all if it's making us believe that we are so much more important and valued than our female peers.

No Matter How Diverse Advertisements Are, It Will Never Be Enough

Khloe Kardashian was just interviewed by Elle about her commitment to inclusivity in her ads for her fashion brand Good American. She insisted that they never sell their items to a retail store unless they agree to "carry the full size range," even if this makes it financially harder on her company.

"We want everyone who buys Good American to feel included, respected, and seen," Khloe said. "Even on our website—which takes a lot more time and money—but on our website, we showcase every item on three different body types."

Yet not long ago, Khloe was under fire for not hiring enough employees of color. A Good American survey revealed that 15% of the employees were black. Forget that this is actually a larger percentage than the percentage of black people in our country as a whole (roughly 13%). The point is, people will never ever be happy with the efforts made to diversity a brand because the goal isn't actually diversity. The goal is for women to feel validated and confident about themselves when they scroll through social media, and this is an impossible feat to accomplish because we all know that true, fulfilling validation and confidence come from within.

People will never ever be happy with the efforts made to diversity a brand.

No matter how much brands, media companies, celebrities, and influencers try to meet the current demands of intersectionality, they will never fully hit the mark. That's not because it's a failure on their part, but rather because female consumers have been emboldened to demand the impossible from companies.

At the end of the day, the goal is not true representation. If it were, we wouldn't have a problem with the vast majority of women in ads being white, as our country is nearly 80% white. Rather than hyperfocusing on meeting women's ever-changing needs, perhaps we should focus on empowering women to feel more confident in their own skin, regardless of who they see featured in advertisements. This empowerment begins in the home, from family and loved ones, as well as from finding a greater purpose in life that allows you to remove the focus on yourself for a change and commit yourself to something greater and more meaningful.