I'm A Hairstylist, And I Can Confirm That I Double As Your Therapist

If you have one hairstylist who is your go-to girl, then you probably know how much of a bond has formed between the two of you.

By Hannah Leah3 min read
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It started out as business, and in the time spent sitting in the chair, you talked about life, love, and struggle. Then, as the years go by, you realize that your stylist has been there with you through it all. They have watched you grow and listened in the tough times, doubling as a therapist and a friend.

They're There for Every Special Occasion

You might not realize it, but during some of the most important times in your life, you see your hairstylist. Your first haircut as a child, graduations, your first date, your wedding, and even in preparation for funerals. Your hairdresser is there to make you look presentable for every occasion, and in the process, they get to share some of the experience with you. 

We see our stylists during many of life's milestones. She was there for you when you met the guy, had your first date, was there when things got rocky, and she’s there for all the tea that comes along with the relationship. Oftentimes, the first person you meet with on the wedding day is your stylist. She's there to calm some of the nerves, reassure you that you're ready for the day, and of course, make you look beautiful for photos that will last a lifetime. 

Along with the good, comes the bad. A hairstylist will do hair for funerals, visit the hospital, or sometimes give you hair care at home during serious illnesses. Chances are, you are just as important to your stylist as they are to you. If you are going through a sad time, she is grieving with you. 

They're a Listening Ear and Someone To Confide In

It’s great to have someone to talk to. Sometimes we just need to vent and get things off our chest. Your hairstylist is the perfect person for this. For the busy mom, she is a place to relax and open up. For the teen girl, she can be a confidence booster. For the elderly woman, she might be the only person she sees that week. Your stylist is more than someone providing a service: She is here for you and wants you to feel comfortable sharing whatever you would like to. It’s a place without judgment, a safe space. According to the Professional Beauty Association, 88% of women say a personal relationship with their stylist is important to them.

Some people prefer a stylist to a therapist. It’s included in the price of the haircut, and there is no pressure to make any life changes, just a place to share your feelings. In an article in Psychology Today, Dr. Seth Meyers writes how hairstylists spend “hours listening to her clients and providing advice about a wide range of emotional problems.” He theorizes that women feel comfortable sharing so deeply with their hairstylist is because the client can only see the stylist in the mirror, which creates an illusion of distance that makes it feel less vulnerable, along with the knowledge that, unlike a real therapist, their hairstylist isn’t going to make them feel pressured to change. 

They Get Updates on Your Life Every Few Weeks

It’s not unusual to see your hairdresser every few weeks. For highlights, you might have a hair appointment every eight weeks. If you have gray hair, it could be every four weeks. Even for those who don’t get their hair done regularly, they still probably visit the salon every few months for a trim. That means that your stylist frequently gets an update on what’s new in your life and what has happened since the last appointment. You might even give your hairstylist life updates more often than a close friend you only talk to on the phone every few months!

Lastly, Your Hairstylist Is Your Friend

You might be paying her to do your hair, but the friendship and bond you have created are real. As a hairstylist, I can attest to how important my clients are to me. I care about their well-being and their feelings. I have so many clients that have become family over the years. There are many of them whom I speak to regularly between appointments. We text, call, hang out, and have a true bond. It’s an honor that they trust me enough to confide in me. Your stylist values your relationship as much as you do. We are here to make you feel beautiful, inside and out. 

Closing Thoughts

So next time you visit your stylist, reflect on the relationship you’ve built and enjoy the experience. For every milestone, your stylist is there. Every hardship, she grieves with you. She is here to listen and to be a friend. And the best part is, you leave looking and feeling better than when you walked in. 

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