The bar for today’s lackluster sexual marketplace standards is said to be in “hell,” based on the many nightmarish dating horror stories we see playing out on social media and in the headlines. It’s akin to a bad movie where people seem to be on a race to the bottom in an effort to see who can screw up the most with the opposite sex.
I’ve heard of endless unfortunate dating incidents where people will unmatch their Tinder dates within minutes following their first, last, and only sexual encounter. In the car on the way home, they’re right back on the app, cruising for more casual sex. They quite literally jump in the jeep and leave, braving the walk of shame, where they unmatch said dates while driving off. The insanity.
Many women find themselves getting ghosted right after sex. One woman shared her experience: “Of course, some men ghost after sex even if you withhold it for weeks. I once dated a guy I waited two months to sleep with. In that time, he took me for expensive dinners, texted constantly, and surprised me with flowers and gifts. The day after we got physical, I never heard from him again.”
Ghosting aside, another issue we’re witnessing is men resenting having to be chivalrous and shell out money for dates. One man wrote, “The lack of consistency [around who pays] has left me wondering if the standard script of men paying for first dates is harder to find than certain rare bottles of wine. I think that now, with the emergence of so many dating apps and more frequent first dates, guys are less willing to cough up the cash on dates.”
And women across the board are entirely fed up with trying to find that one single guy out there who isn’t trying to have sex with them on the first date…while also trying to nickel and dime them and make them pay for coffees and go for hikes in secluded areas trying to score a casual romp in the bushes.
This is all largely due to the commodification process currently in full swing where people find themselves getting nexted and ghosted, and they’re left wondering where they went wrong. With every “shiny new model” just around the corner, people are eager to nonchalantly pass up an otherwise decent connection with a person who doesn’t appear to check off all the boxes concerning their personal standards.
But people won’t commodify you if you don’t commodify yourself. It’s really that simple. And if you choose to have higher standards for yourself in the sexual marketplace, it will give you a leg up in securing a chance at finding a fulfilling long-term relationship.
So what can you do to increase your desirability in today’s sexual marketplace? Let’s take a look…
Stop Commodifying Yourself
People on dating apps are looking for sex, validation, attention, and free meals on tap 24/7/365 with little to no effort. But this doesn’t mean you’re required to provide them with it.
Interrelations between the sexes have become so underwhelming and predictable that people are no less than mesmerized when they finally do come across a person who has higher standards for themselves that fly in the face of today’s universally low standards.
Be very cognizant of the image you want to portray as a woman.
The guy who isn’t thirsty and doesn’t give every girl attention and validation has an advantage.
The girl who doesn’t act trashy clearly stands out among so many other women who do.
And really, all that’s required for you stand out in the dating marketplace is to not commodify yourself according to today’s commodification process of procuring easy sex and cheap dopamine thrills.
Be very cognizant of the image you want to portray as a woman. If you’re a woman who doesn’t want to be used for sex by men, then don’t give men the impression that sex is all you have to offer. Keep a tight lid on it and keep them guessing. That will raise your value significantly among so many other women who are having casual sex from the jump.
Strive To Be a High-Value Woman
What exactly is a high-value woman?
Many women believe it’s all about beauty and having a great body. Well, guess what? Millions upon millions of women possess the same. That doesn’t make you a high-value woman. It certainly helps, and no one is suggesting it doesn’t, but it won’t make you stand out among millions of other women who bring forth the same.
Start with respecting yourself. A high-value woman knows that “If someone does not love her in the same way she loves herself, she is not afraid to walk away from that relationship. She knows that the level of respect she will get from others is contingent on the respect she gives to herself.”
In addition to self-respect, another important facet of being a high-value woman is maturity. Are you graceful and poised? Are you well-spoken, and do you conduct yourself with elegance, charm, and dignity?
Being a lady will prompt a man to treat you like a lady
A respectable woman is a woman who is and will always be in great demand. Like the old saying goes, “Men want a woman they’re proud to take home to their mother.”
Be that girl he’s proud to be seen with. Be the girl he’s happy to treat to dinner dates where he picks you up, opens your car door for you, pulls out your chair and insists on paying.
Being a lady will prompt a man to treat you like a lady. First impressions are everything. Be good company, have great conversation skills, smile, laugh, be gracious and be feminine. He will take notice, and you will stand out.
Simple Tips To Find Success in the Sexual Marketplace
Many of the problems I see personally as a relationship coach in the dating marketplace are rooted in the absence of social skills. Any woman who can put her best foot forward and “be a force to be reckoned with” can find success in the sexual marketplace and secure relationships with any number of potential dating candidates.
So brush up on your active listening skills. Learn how to talk to men and conduct yourself in a favorable light that will help promote attraction with any man you date. Active listening skills are a tool you can use to connect in a meaningful way with virtually any man you meet.
Active listening skills are a tool you can use to connect in a meaningful way with any man.
Have boundaries. People value others who can put forth clear boundaries that express that a person has something special and important to offer that’s worth preserving.
If a person doesn’t value your time and consistently shows you they’re unreliable and they’re giving you the brush off, it’s okay to say, “That’s not okay.” Don’t let a man treat you like an option when you know deep down he should be treating you like a priority.
And it’s okay to wait to have sex. It’s not only okay, but it’s a wise choice to make, considering many men are treating dating as a sport-fishing endeavor for casual sex. Simply tell a man you don’t want to have sex and his reaction to your decision will tell you all you need to know about him and his intentions: If he genuinely likes you, he will wait. If he doesn’t, he won’t. And he’s doing you a huge favor if he decides he doesn’t want to wait because the boundary is in place in which he can’t use you and discard you after having sex.
There’s no doubt that dating is tough out there for many women. However, if you refuse to commodify yourself and instead put your best foot forward and conduct yourself in a manner in which men will find you appealing, attractive, and worthy of love and commitment, you won’t be commodified.
Instead, you will be an asset to any man. Date with sound and justified intentions and go out and catch a man with the intention of keeping him.
Always strive to be that rare gem out there that men will treasure, and men will treasure you.
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