It’s a modern-day issue that women have to be ever vigilant and remain consistently on their guard against predatory male behavior in the dating environment.
With the aid of the family unit in generations past, parents (and male siblings especially) were typically the defenders and protectors of women in helping them safeguard their femininity and womanhood against predatory male behavior.
These days, women are left to their own devices and to fend for themselves against being exploited. As a result, they often find themselves becoming wide open targets in being susceptible and vulnerable to predatory male behavior. Many young women are unknowing victims of predatory male behavior and suffer lifelong, unforeseen consequences – being used, abused, and discarded leaves women irreparably damaged and unable to trust men.
How do we define predatory male behavior? Predatory behavior can generally be defined as “living by plundering and robbing, preying on other animals” or people.
In this day and age, it’s not at all limited to pushing sexual boundaries. It now includes emotional and financial predation, with things like “borrowing money with no intention of paying it back, borrowing possessions, etc. from a person who you know is unable to say no.”
That being said, sex as a general rule is the end goal of predatory male behavior, and emotional and financial exploitation are often neatly packaged alongside other nefarious means of manipulating women. In essence, predatory male behavior is based on extracting sexual, emotional, and financial resources from women without care or concern for the woman’s safety and well-being.
Predatory male behavior extracts sexual, emotional, and financial resources from women.
So how can women learn to adeptly spot predatory male behavior? What are the clear signs she’s entangled with a male predator?
The Predator Often Starts Out As “Too Good To Be True”
Predatory behavior is contingent upon the ability to be manipulative, with certain men being far more adept at manipulating than others. For example, women can often easily spot the garden variety creep who allows his predatory lasciviousness to hang out in the open – his leering, strange demeanor and socially tactless comments that come out of left field are usually dead giveaways that he’s a predator.
However, even the slickest of male predators among us display other telltale signs that can be easily overlooked, e.g. a man’s attractiveness, outgoingness, and social skills can make him appear evermore persuasive and trustworthy.
If he’s “too good to be true,” he often is. Predators “seem too perfect. They seemingly have everything together. They are admirable, the kind of people you’d want to emulate. Unfortunately, predators are masters of deceit. They hide their narcissism and/or sociopathic tendencies by creating admirable facades.”
If he desires to appear credible enough to exploit you, he will use superficial charm and other well-thought-out and convincing mannerisms to make you drop your defenses to allow yourself to be prone to his predation.
He Feels Entitled to You
Another key indicator of male predatory behavior is entitlement: “Predatory people believe everything is owed to them. They are entitled to special treatment. They have the corner on the market of wisdom, power and prestige, and therefore seek to be served instead of serving others. Others exist to serve their needs.”
Hence the man who believes he’s entitled to sex with a woman after three dates and becomes angry and lashes out toward any woman who declines his advances.
Predatory people believe everything is owed to them and others exist to serve their needs.
A man who is a predator plays by different rules, where if the game is not played to work out in his favor, his true colors will come out. That’s why it’s recommended that women decline sex for at least the first three months of any potential serious relationship with a man. He will show you who he is and what his intentions are within that timeframe. And if he lashes out when you decline his sexual advances, needless to say, that’s not a good sign.
Everything Is Transactional
Again, with the above example concerning entitlement, the woman is often left feeling as if she’s being overburdened and is putting much more effort into the relationship than the man. It’s all very one-sided.
She may be shamed or intimidated into performing sexual, emotional, or financial favors. Guilt trips abound with no regard for both her minor and major inconveniences or emotional headaches. If she can’t deliver on what’s expected of her, she may be shunned and stonewalled, with affection and validation being purposefully withdrawn as a tool of manipulation.
One key sign that the relationship is transactional is there’s no accountability on the part of the man toward the woman’s needs or concerns. Her role in the relationship is to serve his desires at the expense of her own safety and security.
Women tend to have an innate desire to “please a man,” and they will go to great lengths to ensure a man’s needs are being met. And emotional abuse through the withdrawal of affection, validation, and emotional support will cause her to feel like she must work that much harder to win back his approval and validation.
Listen to Your Gut Instincts
Women tend to have a “feeling” in the face of danger that manifests through male predation and exploitation. Oftentimes, women will ignore these instincts because they seem irrational and baseless. “He’s so dreamy and charming and everyone adores him. He would never hurt anyone, thus he would never hurt me.”
It feels much easier to overlook predatory behavior because we don’t want to believe that someone who appears to have taken a keen interest in us can also pose a danger to our well-being. Sometimes we don’t “trust our ‘gut,’ or intuition, because of past experiences, general self-doubt, or agreed-upon social norms.”
Throw out your preconceived notions of what a predator looks like.
But “the first step is to throw out your preconceived notions of what a predator looks like. We know from news reports and documentaries that many predators come from ‘good families,’ or appear to be ‘nice.’"
You need not be overly suspicious, but instead, err on the side of caution and be realistic about the possibility that male predatory behavior may rear its ugly head. Healthy skepticism means you allow yourself to understand the risks involved in dealing with any person and to remain on your guard. If a man makes you feel uncomfortable, you feel that “ick” in your interactions with him, or it just seems that he’s up to no good, then your instincts are telling you to distance yourself and to stay out of harm’s way.
Predatory male behavior poses a grave threat to women. Women have much to lose in the way of corrupted innocence, sexual health and autonomy, and female emotional well-being when dealing with male predators.
Know the signs and be on the lookout for any male behavior that you find questionable. Your femininity and womanhood are at stake, and it’s essential to keep your safety and personal wellness as your utmost priority.
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