How To Optimize Your Bedroom For Sex

Unless your husband is Don Juan, who will fly you to Monaco and have you nosedive deep into a bed of a million roses, it’s mostly up to us women to set the perfect ambiance for a night of great sex.

By Jenny White4 min read
Pexels/Eugenia Remark

And that’s okay because women tend to put much more thought and consideration into these things. We like to decorate and put our design skills to work as it’s our creative forte. It’s even therapeutic to dress up a space for a beautiful occasion.

Preparing your bedroom for a night of fantastic sex can be accomplished with a few simple accouterments or the most lavish of themes. It’s strictly up to you whether “less is more” or “more is better” to create an ambiance that will feed into the eroticism you’re desiring with your husband.

Below, we will give you an idea of where to start, and you can decide what would be suitable for a night of steamy lovemaking. So, where should you begin to optimize your bedroom for sexy time? Let’s take a closer look…

Set Up the Perfect Lighting 

Great lighting is key, which, for sex, means the most flattering lighting. 

The last thing you want your bedroom to feel like is the office or a sterile operating room. Say goodbye to harsh florescent lighting and other types of lighting that are akin to flood lamps. 

Instead, you can opt for soft lighting and candles, which are always a more sensuous option. And there’s a variety of beautiful accent lighting available in many different hues and designs that can help you set the mood

According to Architectural Digest, “glow-y lighting” is the ideal choice: “Never underestimate the power of good lighting. Harsh overhead fixtures are jarring to the senses and unflattering for virtually everyone. Mood lighting is an art form, which, when done right, can highlight our desirable physical qualities while diminishing our self-perceived flaws, hopefully making us feel all the sexier. Basically, think about whatever lighting makes you feel good. Confidence is key. Opt for natural light (streaking moonlight from a window, for example), Himalayan salt lamps, stand-alone dimmer lamps, or amber-glass bulbs to achieve a warm glow.”

Get creative! I’ve found that one lone candle can make a big statement, similar to how romantic scenes are depicted in films – it was just the two of them and one flicker of flame in the darkness. 

It could also be fun to hang a string of soft decorative lights on the headboard or along the ceiling.

Get a Full-Length Mirror

That mirror you have so you can check out your whole outfit from tip to toe? Yeah, it’s useful for more than style checks. There’s something very erotic about watching yourselves make love in your own mirror reflection intertwined together. As Apartment Therapy explains, “Mirrors enhance romance by adding another element of intrigue for couples willing to stand naked together in the mirror. When you’re looking at your partner naked, holding each other, in a mirror, you get to see their body in a different light.”

“We don’t always get to see exactly how we respond to different touches or gestures from our partners,”  Shamyra Howard, LSW, a certified sex therapist, tells Apartment Therapy. “We feel it, but we don’t get to see our reaction and our partner’s physical reaction while touching, kissing, or caressing. Getting to see each other’s full body reactions is very sexy.”

With beautiful, soft lighting and a mirror, the two of you will definitely make it a night to remember!

Tidy Up Your Space

Cleanliness is next to godliness – and a sexy bedroom is no different. If you want to have earth-shattering sex, a big mess on the floor and on the bedside tables by way of scattered clothes, dust, and refuse laying about isn’t going to enhance your sexy experience.

I highly recommend a full dusting (baseboards and all), a thorough vacuum, clean, fresh sheets, and some air freshener. Airing out the room a bit by opening the windows for a few hours will also help to keep the room smelling fresh. 

The folks over at Apartment Therapy agree: “It can’t be said enough that if you do nothing else, make sure your room is really, really clean. It’s actually the first thing a person senses (consciously or unconsciously) when they walk into the bedroom and is the biggest turn-off, even when everything else is okay. Keep clothes folded and away, the floor vacuumed (under the bed too), and all your surfaces neat and clean. Order and cleanliness in the bedroom are the best backdrop for letting go and getting wild and dirty, and you don’t want to blow it.”

Tidy up your space as much as possible so you can concentrate on sex and losing yourselves in the experience rather than having a mess in the corner and strange odors dampening the mood. Cleaning the space is as equally important as making love in this space. It needs to be enjoyable without any distractions.

Remove Distractions

Ever wonder why you're not in the mood for sex but then look over at your husband in bed and realize you're both sitting in silence, aimlessly scrolling your phones? That's not super sexy, is it? Neither is binging the latest Netflix show as your evening routine rather than connecting with each other in an intentional way. There's nothing wrong with watching a show or movie together after a long day of work, but you should do that outside the bedroom if possible. Dedicate your living room to watching tv and social media usage and make it a rule that the bedroom is for sleep and sex only. You should even go as far as removing the television from the bedroom altogether. This will shift your mindset upon entering the room in a drastic way. You can set up a charging stand for your phones on the opposite end of the room or outside the bedroom entirely (just invest in a physical alarm clock instead of relying on your phones to wake you up) so that the phones aren't even an option in bed.

Set an Exotic Scene

Ever thought of a black LED bar? This kind of light can really make things interesting, to say the least.

Under a black light, you glow. As does any pale colored lingerie you may decide to wear. Black light makes both you and your surroundings titillating and mysterious. The pale colored lingerie you will be wearing in the glare of the light will hit your curves just right and will be starkly illuminated, creating an element of eroticism that can drive him mad. You can also opt for a white blindfold to match your lingerie that he can pull over your eyes and take off. Seeing those items stand out against your skin will drive him crazy. As they say, men are visual and the more you can make the ambiance visually stimulating, the more erotically memorable the experience will be for him. 

Black lights tend to be a fixture in gentlemen’s clubs, and perhaps introducing a black light as a backdrop in your bedroom can make you both feel as if you’re role-playing, with you being the sexy girl of the evening under the darkened and mysterious lights. Amazon has an array of black lights to choose from that can dress up your bedroom for lovemaking in a powerfully inviting way. 

Consider trying a black light and a matching set of skimpy, light-colored lingerie. We guarantee, he will never forget it.

Closing Thoughts

Everything from soft lights and candles to a more creative “light show” can really enhance the mood between you and your husband. It’s up to you to create the ambiance you want. Test out various setups and see what makes you feel sexiest. More importantly, be sure to make it fun and exciting for you both. He will be thrilled to see what you come up with.

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