12 Sexy Date Ideas To Spice Things Up In Your Marriage

Dinner and drinks might be your go-to date night activity, but is it doing anything to spice up your marriage? Why go to the same restaurant for the same meal on a Friday night when you could try a newer, spicier date activity instead?

By Gwen Farrell4 min read
Pexels/Ron Lach

Dating your spouse is crucial for the health and longevity of your marriage, but it can be hard to implement. Between work schedules or getting kids up and organized every day, dating your husband in adventurous, out-of-the-ordinary ways feels like something you watch on TV, not something you and your spouse do in your relationship.

If your love life and especially your sex life needs some added spice, ditch the dinner reservation or movie theater for something a bit different. Get your husband on board first, and follow this spicy date activity bucket list to re-introduce the heat to your marriage. 

Aphrodisiac Tasting Board

Aphrodisiacs are naturally occurring compounds in foods that serve to increase libido and sex drive and enhance sexual pleasure. Aphrodisiacs, from the word Aphrodite (the Greek goddess of love, of course), have been used for centuries to boost desire and increase intimacy. If you’ve ever created or tasted a charcuterie board, an aphrodisiac board is more or less the same – but with better results. Foods with well-known aphrodisiac properties include oysters, honey, chocolate, hot chilis, pistachios, pomegranates, mussels, figs, asparagus, avocados, ginger, truffles, and many more. Try just a few (or all of them), and see where the tastes and sensations lead you.

Sip and Paint (with a Twist)

Traditional sip and paint parties have you painting a canvas paired with an alcoholic drink of choice. Why not make your man the canvas though? Have a bottle of wine on hand and plenty of paintbrushes. Edible body paint comes in all kinds of colors and flavors, and you can even make it yourself. Be sure your space is prepared with towels or old sheets – this could get messy. 

If this idea sounds a little too out there for you, dip your toe in the water first by painting or drawing each other naked on your own canvases (think: Titanic).

Make a "Lunch" Date

Skip the boring salad and water cooler conversation and opt for a more exciting way to stay healthy at lunchtime. Turn off the girlboss and turn on your inner feminine energy, get dressed up with a pair of heels or a new shade of lipstick, and tell your co-workers you have an important, can’t-be-missed appointment. Get your heart rate up by meeting at the nearest hotel for 30 minutes to an hour of (ahem) afternoon delight. Neither his co-workers nor yours will be any the wiser, and the secret midday tryst between the two of you makes it even hotter. 

Create a Sexy Scavenger Hunt

For this activity, make sure you have an alluring outfit (which can be easily removed), an empty house, a playlist to set the mood, and a few clues to hide throughout the house to lead him to the ultimate surprise. Clues can include your favorite or never-before-tried foreplay activities, an unorthodox place to do the deed, a position you haven’t tried before, a substance to spread on his or both your bodies (Nutella or whipped cream, for example), or feathers and blindfolds for other tasks. The more erotic and surprising, the better!

Couples Card Game

You can find tons of foreplay-initiating card games for couples out there, or you can even step up your game by customizing one of your own. Tasks can include giving a lap dance, whispering filthy nothings in each other’s ears, or trying new positions. The sky's the limit! 

For this date activity, the slow burn is essential, but if you don’t make it to the end of the game, we don’t blame you.

Pottery Class

We’ve all seen the iconic scene from Ghost with Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore – and putting your own spin on it (pun intended) can make your fantasies a reality. All the materials are easily acquirable, as are tutorial videos online (if you actually plan to make something, that is). Doing something with your hands can stir other, more sensual impulses that both you and your spouse will enjoy, and letting your hands wander with a real-life hunk is the culmination of every girl’s dream.

Role Play at the Bar

Assume a new persona and meet a “stranger” at the bar. Maybe you’re a high-powered career woman looking for an indecent proposal, and your man is the fantasy financier of your romance novel daydreams. Maybe he’s a gangster with a heart of gold, and you’re just the attractive stranger to reform him. Put all your BookTok knowledge to good use. Meet his gaze across the bar, pretend you know nothing about one another, and let the flirting and knee-touching under the bar table lead where it may. The best part is you get to go home together – and stay together – afterward.

Naked Twister

Twister may have been the game of our middle-school nightmares (no? just me?), but reappropriating it for your adult use can turn an awkward 20 minutes into arousing fun. Even if neither of you is flexible or into board games, it’ll still be worth the time. “No clothes allowed” can be the prerequisite to all your couples' games from here on out.

Strip Poker

Don’t worry. You don’t need to be an experienced gambling expert to know how to play poker, or even its much more exciting sibling, strip poker. The rules of poker can vary according to the version, but essentially, the best five-card hand wins, and the loser removes one article of clothing. See how many hands it takes you to wind up completely in the buff and let the chips fall where they will. 

Nude Massage

Make your bedroom a calming oasis with rose petals on the bed, candles, music, soft lighting, and a diffuser of aromatherapy, and have your husband lay on his front or back. Target his tense areas or stressed spots with CBD oil or lotion and have him relax, then do the same for you. Take your time with intentional, precise touch, and delay the gratification for as long as you can. Release stress and energy, and lean into the pleasure of having your hands on your man. Then, if your hands wander to other places, so be it. 

Curate a Steamy Bubble Bath

Following your massage, keep the candles lit and the music playing, and slip into the bath with your husband. Bring some champagne, chocolate-covered strawberries, or ice cream into the mix and soak up the sweet, steamy moment. If you don’t have access to a bathtub, run the shower on hot and get creative with different vantage points.

Do a Hot Workout

Sex isn’t the one and only way to get your heart rate up. Turn up the thermostat for some hot couples yoga, or burn fat with a high-intensity cardio session. Try wall-sits together, planking on top of him, or synchronized squats. Once you’re thoroughly warmed up, you can move your energy to the bedroom with a passionate, satisfying cool-down.

Closing Thoughts

Dating your husband shouldn’t feel like a chore or a hassle. No matter how long you’ve been together, you owe it to yourselves to still have excitement and passion in your relationship. The flame that brought you together doesn’t have to dampen, as long as you’re both feeling up for anything.

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