A whole year of COVID-related lockdowns and social distancing have left us out of practice when it comes to flirting.
When COVID-19 lockdown measures first popped up over a year ago, not a single person knew what to expect, especially given that the lockdowns were initially supposed to last two weeks. Before we knew it, we’d all been social distancing for months on end, finding it more difficult than ever to meet anyone new, let alone stay in touch with friends.
Here we are a year after the fact, and finally, a life that’s close to normal is possible again — movie theaters are allowing small crowds inside, coffee shops are letting customers stick around, and restaurants are open for indoor dining.
But it’s been awhile since we’ve been socially active, and many of us fell out of practice when it comes to making and keeping friends, striking up a conversation, and even worse, flirting and dating. So what can we do to get our flirting game back up to speed?
It’s All about Eye Contact
Few things are as intimate as making direct eye contact, which is why we immediately get the creeps when we’re on the receiving end of an unwanted gaze from a random guy. Eye contact, when held for longer than a miniscule moment, feels like our inner world is being peered into.
Few things are as intimate as making direct eye contact.
Because most of us barely hold eye contact for longer than a millisecond with the grand majority of people we see on our daily commute, in line at the store, or at a bar, prolonged eye contact lasting more than a second is the simplest way of letting a guy know you’re intrigued and that you’d like to know more about him. Even better, multiple instances of locking eyes lets him know it’s okay to approach.
Make Him Feel Interesting
Once we’re finally talking to a guy, it’s understandable to endlessly talk about ourselves — it’s what we know, and we won’t be stumbling over our words trying to come up with something to say. But it’s all too easy to walk away from a date only to realize we don’t know much about the guy who sat across from us for two hours other than his name and his job title.
Ask questions that dig deeper than his job and his hobbies.
Without letting the conversation turn into 20 questions, it’s essential to make a guy feel heard, known, and interesting (don’t we all long to feel interesting?) by asking questions that dig deeper than how he makes money or what he enjoys doing on weekends. Inquiring about his family, upbringing, odd hobbies, closest friends, and favorite stories growing up can help paint us a fuller picture of who he is, all while making a great impression by refraining from constantly volunteering information about ourselves.
Act Confident (Even If You’re Not)
As someone who has always lacked confidence, there are few things I love less than being told I need to become more confident in myself. It’s not as easy as snapping your fingers, or reading a blog post or two. Confidence is something that takes years of discipline and dedication — and it’s also one of the most attractive qualities someone can have.
Confidence isn’t difficult to fake if it doesn’t come naturally.
But the good part? Confidence isn’t difficult to fake if it doesn’t come naturally. When we treat confidence as if it’s a part we can play, instead of pressuring ourselves to actually feel it, it’s ultimately easier to come across self-assured. Plus, once we realize the burden of performing well isn’t just on us, but on our date too, we’ll be able to relax, allowing us to flirt more boldly. After all, he’s auditioning to be on our show.
Care about What You Say
We’ve all been on a date where the conversation seemed to lag, with awkward silences constantly popping up. Once the discussion drops off, it’s normal to grasp for straws and start gabbing about anything we can come up with, just to avoid another dreaded lull. But what if that’s actually making the conversation even worse?
Passion and genuineness are always attractive.
When we genuinely care and are passionate about what we’re saying, instead of figuring we should chat about our favorite TV shows to fill the silence, we’ll inevitably become more attractive to the person sitting across from us, helping our flirting bids be better received. Aren’t we all more attracted to a guy who’s passionate about life than one who’s just living day by day?
Flirting and dating have always been hard, but putting a year-long lockdown on top of that? It’s understandable if most of us have forgotten how to woo, but following these tips will undoubtedly get us back on track.
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