Today’s young women are being faced with far fewer attractive dating prospects on college campuses, and seemingly everywhere else. They’re frustrated with ghosting, cheating and other forms of bad dating etiquette on the part of men who are reaping all the benefits of detached sex among today’s abundance of single young women.
A term has been coined to describe the phenomenon: "Golden penis syndrome." The term refers to the phenomenon where a small number of men get an overinflated sense of their own prowess and good looks, because they’re far outnumbered by women and therefore are in high demand. Their sexual (and emotional) needs are being catered to by dozens of women at any given moment — women to whom these men will never commit.
How do young women begin to navigate the dating scene with fewer choices in desirable men?
Golden Penis Syndrome
Earlier this month, The New York Post did an exposé on these dire dud dating conditions plaguing large swathes of young women on college campuses: “Just 40.5% of college students in the United States are male, according to the National Student Clearinghouse, meaning they’re in short supply and high demand when dating on campus. A lack of competition has led these men to develop ‘golden penis syndrome’ — an arrogance that stems from the assumption that a steady supply of females will be sexually interested in them.”
Further, The Brookings Institute has reported a precipitous decline in university enrollment among males in 2020: “Total first-time student enrollment was 13% lower in fall 2020 than in fall 2019. The decline seems to have been driven largely by a drop in total male enrollment, which was over seven times larger than the drop in female enrollment (-5.1% and -0.7%, respectively). Male students now make up a smaller share of all enrolled students in the United States than ever before — just 41% of students enrolled in a postsecondary institution in fall 2020 were men.”
Fewer men and more women on college campuses creates fierce competition among women who wish to find a suitable college boyfriend who may be interested in more than just sex, and they’re all too often coming up short.
Fewer men and more women on college campuses creates fierce competition among women.
As a dating and relationship coach, I’m very familiar with this “golden penis syndrome” phenomenon as it relates to the many young women I assist in sorting through their dating doldrums.
It goes something like this: “I met Chad. Chad is really hot and sexy. He’s super popular and so many girls like him. I slept with him and fell in love and now he’s stopped texting me. How do I get him back?”
Meanwhile, three or four other girls are active on his phone as of 7pm, with one naked by his side and 300 more neatly filed away among several obscure messaging apps.
Through my countless hours of labor and research in helping these women reconcile their heartbreak, I’ve come to the conclusion it’s entirely impossible for women to make a comeback from this “walk of shame” blunder and regain Sir Golden Penis’ fleeting interest. Once he’s gotten his fill of unattached sex, he’s gone.
He’s been lavished with attention, idolization, emotional investment, and finally, sex, in exchange for essentially nothing on his part — bare minimum effort with a few sparse texts, brief initial stage love-bombing, a swift top bunk liaison, and she’s left high and dry with some ghosting. This is all too commonplace.
It’s entirely impossible for women to regain Sir Golden Penis’ fleeting interest.
Yet, golden penis syndrome represents so much more than just a titillating romp with a scarce and in-demand, sexy cad. It’s the overall decline in masculinity vs. desirable men that’s driving golden penis syndrome all over the Western world.
Many have dubbed it a consequence of “The Pareto Principle” wherein the top 20% of masculine men are monopolizing detached sex with the top 80% of women. The mimetic term “alpha widow” applies here too where an unsuspecting young woman gets a night with Chad and is “ruined forever” for every other man. She’s said to have gifted him with lifelong emotional investment thus no other man will live up to her standards based on her short-lived situationship with Chad.
Ego-Driven Validation Where Men Also Require a Woman’s Emotional Investment?
There’s a pattern I’m seeing where these infamous golden penis gangsters are not only sleeping with women, but they’re demanding full and unchecked emotional investment from them as well.
Sociopathic behaviors, a.k.a. “bad boy” tendencies, are standard among these bad characters’ repertoires. F*ckboys with a golden penis are no longer in it just for the sex, they’re in it for the emotional commitment too — but never his emotional commitment, only hers.
Could the pickup artistry movement be playing a role here? Could pickup skills that promote sociopathic behavior towards vulnerable young women be to blame?
Golden penis guys are in it for the emotional commitment too — but never his.
Pickup artistry often lends itself to the following “game” techniques:
Triangulation: jealousy/pitting women against each other
Negging: lowering women’s self-esteem through backhanded compliments
Stonewalling: being closed off/emotionally unavailable and thus more challenging
Breadcrumbing: stinginess with time, effort, and resources
The result is a new generation of men who appear to have become accustomed to ghosting and cheating on naive and impressionable young women — women who are neither emotionally nor psychologically prepared for the onslaught of this manipulative behavior.
If women understood how these men think (and are being taught to think by other men who are instructing them on how to get laid without any emotional investment or commitment), they may heed the red flags and warning signs. For now, women seem to be on their own — while Chad with the golden phallus is reaping all the rewards of free and unattached sex.
Are These “High Quality” Men?
What is a “high quality” man? And what do today’s young women deem to be a high quality man?
With the Pareto principle in full effect, many young women deem a man to be high quality simply because he’s virile. A strikingly virile man is generally handsome, sexy, and has a square jaw. He’s tall, built, has social capital, and is desired by lots of other women.
Unfortunately, none of these traits attest to a man’s character. Could it be if a man has questionably bad character (he’s learned some pickup artistry techniques and is flexing sociopathy), he’s deemed to be even more sexually desirable?
The “bad boy” is often considered to be alluring among many young women, and the foremost archetypal male trait desired by fertile young women is virility. And what better demonstrates virility more than a bad boy who loves bedding lots of women?
The foremost archetypal male trait desired by fertile young women is virility.
The issue here is, you can’t condition and deprogram these base desires out of young women’s sexual tastes and preferences. The bad boy “ideal” has been around forever. Women want a man who is strong, is emotionally levelheaded, and lives life on his own terms. That’s nothing new under the sun.
Whether he’s the good guy or the bad guy is inconsequential. He’s undeniably powerful and sexually appealing. And this is where women tend to lose their inhibitions and struggle with how and where they should draw the line.
What Can Young Women Do?
Young women would be much better off opting out of getting involved with Mr. Chad with the Golden Rod. He won’t be coming to the realization anytime soon that any one woman is an exceptional unicorn out of all the women he’s having sex with. Sex means nothing to him, it’s merely a numbers game that feeds his insatiable ego.
Until women collectively opt out of this sociopathic, shameless numbers game and cease flaming men’s egos just by virtue of him showing up with a cocky attitude and a golden, entitled penis, then perhaps the game will no longer work in their favor.
The truth is, women must teach men how to treat them with respect. In not tolerating being just another midnight conquest to golden penis guy, there will be more avenues to commitment with men who will be forced to grow up and invest in women beyond just casual sex.