8 First Date Rituals To Calm Your Nerves Before That Big Date

By Melody Rose··  7 min read
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So, that cute boy you’ve been flirting with while picking up your morning latte finally asked you out. The butterflies are fluttering. Your heart’s beating out of your chest. And you’re watching the clock as you anxiously await your big date night.

With each passing second, you can feel the sweat pooling under your armpits. You don’t want to show up a nervous, sweaty wreck because, let’s face it, that’s not sexy! You want to make a calm, cool, and, more importantly, authentic first impression. Which is difficult to do when your nerves are on a rollercoaster. Is there a solution? How can you prepare and put your best foot forward?

Look no further! The good news is there are some hot tips to usher you into a hot first date. Before you go stuffing your armpits with tissues, check out the below to feel an instant sense of relief and boost of confidence.

1. Limit Your Caffeine Intake

If you’re anything like me, you looove your coffee. I mean, that’s how you met your crush after all, isn’t it? But caffeine can have some not-so-cute side effects like heightened anxiety, heart rate, and fatigue…not ideal when your nervous system is already taxed. 

Instead of throwing fuel on the fire, limit your caffeine intake the day of your big night out. This will help keep your nerves at bay as much as possible without throwing them into overdrive. That way you won’t find yourself talking faster than an infomercial commentator at dinner and can instead relax into a steady flow of conversation with your new boo.  

2. Pick an Upbeat Playlist

It’s vital to create a playlist ahead of time that’s going to inspire, uplift, and calm you before your date. This isn’t the time to press play on a song that triggers memories of your ex. Music creates a mood, whether you realize it or not. Therefore, minimize ones that provoke you to feel angry, sad, or overly excited.

Songs that stabilize your emotions will generate a more pleasant start to your evening, so when you step out the front door you’ll feel as confident as when you hear Shania say, “Let’s go, girls!” 

3. Take a Bath

Instead of hopping into the shower for a quick shave and rinse, take the time to enjoy a hot bath before heading out on your date. Scent the water with bath oil or a bath bomb, and let the warm water relax your muscles and calm your anxiety. A luxurious bath will also make the regular prep work like shaving feel romantic rather than a chore.

4. Put on Pretty Lingerie

Even though you shouldn't be showing it off on the first date, there's no denying that wearing pretty lingerie boosts your confidence. Every woman should have a beautiful set of matching bra and panties that are designated for nights out.

Remember also that your clothing will look best over a good foundation. Your bra should fit well, and we don't want to see any lines under our dress!

5. Call Your Bestie

Who knows how to soothe your nerves better than your best friend? Instead of focusing on your nervousness over the date, spend your time getting ready chatting about good memories or hearing your bestie's latest dating horror story.

If your best friend is married or in a long-term relationship, she might be able to offer some good first date tips. Or, if she's out there on the playing field with you, swapping war stories is a good way to pass the time. If you can get her on FaceTime, you can get feedback on how your hair looks or what outfit you should wear.

6. Choose Something That's Stylish but Comfortable

Listen, you can purchase the sexiest dress Lulu sells, but the truth is if you don’t feel comfortable in it, it’ll lose its appeal. We’ve all seen that girl (or been that girl – guilty!) who’s tugging the hem down or fidgeting with the waistline every five seconds. Not only is an ill-fitting outfit extremely distracting, but it also does a number on your confidence as it highlights your insecurities. You want tonight to be focused on soaking in every second with your crush, not tending to pesky outfit malfunctions. 

While it may be tempting to go out the day of to buy a new dress, try to plan ahead if you can. Buy the new outfit at least a week in advance, that way you have plenty of time to try it on multiple times and ensure you feel comfortable in it. Or, shop your closet. Guaranteed you can piece something new together or find an old dress shoved in the back you totally forgot about. You can also make it a habit to always keep a go-to first date outfit on hand to alleviate the guesswork.

When you’re nervous or stressed, you get in that zone of “I have nothing to wear” anxiety that can have you talking yourself out of going on the date altogether (anyone else just picture that scene from The Grinch?). Whichever fashion route you decide to take, make sure you feel comfortable, confident, and sexy so you can step into your evening.

7. Meditate or Mantra It Out

Negative self-talk loves to rear its ugly head when we’re feeling vulnerable, doesn’t it? Instead of allowing these thoughts to derail your confidence, prepare for these moments by meditating or reciting pre-written mantras.

Get ahead of the situation by focusing on your biggest insecurities and reworking the wording in advance. For example, if your most prevalent pain point is your weight, say over and over “I am beautiful and love my body.” Create a post-it with your mantra to hang on your mirror so you can see the reminder while getting ready. Cultivate this practice to fit your needs and mitigate those moments of doubt. Showing up feeling authentic and empowered in who you are is the most important of all when it comes to attracting someone who’s aligned with you!

8. Set an Intention and Take a Deep Breath

Now that you’ve spent the day preparing yourself, there’s one last must-do. Right before you walk in to meet your date, take a second to set an intention and indulge in one, slow deep breath. It’s proven that deep breathing is the fastest, most effective way to instantly calm down because it activates the parasympathetic nervous system. And when you set an intention, it will keep your focus on what you desire to receive out of the evening instead of all that could go wrong. As we know, what we focus on expands. This power duo will be the cherry on top of your prep work and create a serene start!

Closing Thoughts

Remember, the point of all these tips is to have you feeling confident in who you are and what you have to offer. By centering yourself and coming back to the core of you, you open up the space to show up fully as yourself. When we’re nervous, it’s easy to start acting differently than we normally would to “impress.” However, the most impressive part of a first date is being authentic and creating ease for the other person to do the same. Because if you’re showing up pretending to be something you’re not, you won’t attract someone who’s right for you. So get clear and confident and allow your evening to be one of discovery and flow.

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© 2022