7 Signs Your Man Might Be A Sexual Narcissist

Is he just a little on the selfish side, or is he a sexual narcissist?

By Mia Gonzalez2 min read
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Summer loveee/Shutterstock

There are many things that you love about your man. You get along extremely well, you’re attracted to him, you find him hilarious, and you always have the most fun with him. There’s a lot that’s right with the relationship, but at the same time, you can’t help but feel like there’s something that’s leaving you feeling…unsatisfied.

Simply put, while many facets of your relationship are wonderful, the same can’t be said for your sex life. Instead of intimacy leading you to feel even more connected with him, you’re often left wondering if he’s inexperienced, unaware, or just plain selfish – all you know for sure is that sex, more often than not, feels like it’s more about him than it is about the both of you.

While the case may be that if you were to mention this to him, he’d immediately feel bad and make a greater effort to pay attention to your desires, he might not react this way, and the solution might not be so simple. It’s possible that he could be a sexual narcissist.

What Is a Sexual Narcissist?

A sexual narcissist is someone who is described as having no interest in what the other person is feeling during a sexual encounter. Their main concern when it comes to sex is to have their own desires met – making it less of an intimate, connective act, and more of a self-serving act. This can lead the other person to feel ignored, used, and dissatisfied. 

Here are a few signs that you might be dealing with a sexual narcissist:

1. It’s Always All About Him

Sex always feels impersonal with him. It feels like he doesn’t seem to even see you right there in front of him; instead, he gets lost in his own world and is always focusing on his own pleasure. And once he’s satisfied and gotten what he wants, he turns over and disappears. Sex always ends up making you feel alone.

Sex always ends up making you feel alone.

2. He Expects Favors He Won’t Return

He’s more concerned with receiving than he is with giving, so intimacy is an uneven exchange with him. Whatever he expects you to do for him (and it’s a long list), he never returns the favor. There’s always an excuse for why he won’t do something that would take the attention off him and onto you.

3. He Doesn’t Check In with You

Sex is designed to be intimate – a give and take, a connective act between two people who care about and deeply love each other. Which makes it hurtful that he doesn’t bother to check in with you, see what you enjoy, or ask what you want from him. Instead, you just feel like an instrument he’s using to act out his fantasies.

4. He Has an Inflated Sense of His Skills

He talks about himself and his skills in the bedroom as if he’s a god of some sort, constantly making comments about how lucky you are to have him and leaving you to wonder if he actually believes this about himself or if he’s all talk.

5. He Doesn’t React Well to Criticism or Requests

While he’s willing to engage in the most intimate of physical acts with you, he’s not willing to listen to any kind of comment, request, or kind criticism. He doesn’t want to hear anything that makes him feel less than perfect, incredible, or capable. Any time you try to bring up something you’d like from him, he gets touchy and defensive.

He’s more concerned with receiving than he is with giving, so intimacy is an uneven exchange with him.

6. He Pushes You To Do Things You’re Uncomfortable With

In his mind, you’re really only there to serve him – even if he doesn’t outright say that. His desires always come first (if yours ever come into the equation at all), which means he’ll push, coerce, and manipulate you into whatever he wants. Whether or not you’re comfortable simply doesn’t matter to him.

7. He Expects Constant Praise

He not only expects you to never speak up about what you’d like or if you weren’t comfortable with something, but he also expects to hear constant praise from you. His desire for positive affirmation outweighs his desire to be a thoughtful, giving lover. And if you don’t shower him with praise afterward, he gets sulky.

Closing Thoughts

He might just be ignorant or unaware – or he might be a sexual narcissist. While we can’t diagnose someone just from one article, if your man sounds similar to more than a couple of these points, tread lightly.

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