6 Ways To Know For Sure If A Long Distance Relationship Is The Best Move For You

You’ve heard countless stories about long distance relationships that thrived, but does that mean it will work for you too?

By Keelia Clarkson3 min read
Pexels/Eugenia Remark

Maybe you met and really hit it off with a guy at a cafe who happened to be passing through town, or maybe you decided to expand your dating app distance filter and you ended up coming across a guy you really liked in another state, or maybe you and your college boyfriend got jobs in different cities and you don’t want to let the relationship go.

Whatever the circumstances, you’re faced with the possibility of being in a long distance relationship. And as you consider what the reality of it might look like, you feel torn. You’ve heard all kinds of stories from couples that either started out long distance before getting married and spending the rest of their lives together, or whose geographical distance ended up leading them into heartbreak as things fell apart.

While long distance seems to work for some, you aren’t sure if you’re one of those people. You don’t know if your current relationship would survive it, or if it’s a smart move to begin a relationship at a distance. You just don’t know if getting into a long distance relationship is the right move for you. So how can you tell if it would work or come down crashing? 

Here are six signs that say an LDR could be worth a try.

You Really Click with Him

Whether the relationship is old or new, there’s something to be said for a connection that feels to you like it could be a once-in-a-lifetime thing. It’s not every day that you find someone you can actually see yourself with (in fact, experts say that it takes anywhere from 40 to 60 dates to find a good match).

This means that when you do find that person you just seem to click with – meaning you share your ideals and values in common, you’re attracted to him, you have a similar life trajectory, he makes you laugh, and he loves you well – it could be well worth the effort it takes to try out long distance.

You Both Have Good Communication Skills

Communication is an absolutely essential quality for a relationship to not only last, but be healthy. Without good communication, a relationship can easily devolve into misunderstandings that get blown out of proportion and an emotional distance that makes the mental connection required for a healthy relationship nearly impossible to forge.

Even non-long distance relationships suffer without good communication, making it all the more crucial for anyone trying to make an LDR work to prioritize fostering healthy communication. This might look like setting up regular FaceTimes or calls on specific days, learning how to convey bigger, more emotional topics without being face-to-face, and not leaving the other person guessing what you’re thinking and feeling.

There Is an End in Sight (and You Want the Same Thing)

Whether you’re looking at a few months or an unknown amount of time doing long distance, the point should be to eventually no longer be long distance. What can make an LDR incredibly difficult and feel hopeless is not knowing when or if that will happen, to feel trapped in a tunnel that might end up leading nowhere. 

Along with this, it’s important for both of you to feel like you’re working toward the same goal, whether it’s to live in the same city by next year or to get married eventually. In order to be able to handle the temporary physical distance, you have to know that you’re on the same page. If there’s no end in sight and no common goal, it’s likely that your geographic separation will prove to be too much for the relationship to sustain.

You Don’t Have Trust Issues

Trust issues are common enough in relationships that don’t have miles and miles separating the couple. It’s normal, especially if you’ve been cheated on before or you’ve witnessed someone close to you get cheated on, to be extra wary of a potential lack of faithfulness. Or maybe you’ve always really struggled with feeling insecure in your relationships for a whole other reason, like low self-esteem.

While adding physical distance on top of any trust issues you might already have could prove to be more stress than it’s worth, if you totally trust your long distance guy and haven’t had issues with trust in the past, an LDR could bring you more a lot more positives than it does negatives.

You’re Willing To Go the Extra Mile (Literally and Figuratively)

Every romance requires both attention and intention, but it’s far easier to do both of these things well when seeing your guy doesn’t require more than a 20 minute drive for one of you, and having a regular date night every weekend is a given.

But having a long distance lover means that going the extra mile, both literally and figuratively speaking, is a non-negotiable. If you’re willing to put in extra work to plan a fun FaceTime date that isn’t just catching up for an hour or two, and to either make the trip out to him or help him plan a trip to see you, then an LDR might be for you.

You’re Naturally Independent

Some of us long for a person to share the many moments of life with, thriving in the company of another far more than we do on our own. Others find that they actually enjoy being on their own, and while they’d never say no to a FaceTime from their boyfriend, they’re also just fine spending much of their time alone. 

If you’re naturally on the independent side, have a full life, and find that you’re able to feel happy all on your own, you’re more likely to be able to handle the downsides of a long distance relationship.

Closing Thoughts

Long distance relationships aren’t for everyone. For those who can make it work, it could be the best decision they’ll ever make. But if you’re thinking about starting a relationship from afar, be honest with yourself about whether it’s the smartest move for you.

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